My husband and I don't always get along in the bedrrom. He thinks its because he has WAY TOO MUCH SEX DRIVE and I don't have enough. I love him to death but I just don't want to do it as much as he does. Who's fault is it? If we love each other so much, why can't he understand where I'm coming from and vice versa? Please help?
2007-03-07 05:36:13 · 21 answers · asked by master 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Some men think that each time they get a hard-on it's their supposed to have sex. That approach might work for some couples, but not for most.
You have to explain to him that it's ok to be horny and want to have sex without having sex. Sexual desire is not just for having sex. Just like eating is just not for having a full stomach. The nutrients in the food that your body needs is for energy to think and create.
The sex drive is the same way. You shouldn't have sex just to get a nut off. That desire should be use to seduce, romaticize, and concern yourself with the feelings of your spouse...once you do those things, then bust a nut. If you have sex everytime the urge presents itself, then sex will be the cure all in a dysfunctional relationship. Because the desire is not nurtured, the attitute towards marriage will always be instant gratification. Marriage is not about instant gratification. Marriage is about being thoughtful and having patience.
Nurturing your sexual desire is a great way to be thoughtful and patient.
2007-03-07 05:48:25 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You claim to understand where he is coming from, but it doesn't sound that way. Marriage is about compromise. Perhaps there are some things that you can do to increase you sex drive like reading erotica or looking at photos/videos. Perhaps there are some things he can do to relieve some of his tension such as masturbation. I'm not suggesting to have sex if you truly don't want to. I am suggesting perhaps instead of blowing him off give him a chance. Let him give you a massage and maybe some dirty talk if you're into that. You may be surprised how often you really might be in the mood. Sex is an important part of a healthy marriage and you two need to work around this difference right now. You are never going to match completely. Eventually it can lead to an affair/divorce. Therapy may be helpful for you too. Many women were taught, both advertantly and inadvertantly that their vaginas are dirty and that sex is bad. A good sex therapist may be able to help you find more joy in sex, which will make you want it more.
2007-03-07 05:49:28 · answer #2 · answered by rosekm 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
OK, we are all wired different, we react to stress , joy, and boredom in different ways. We all want attention, A women can hear how great they look or how amazing they(or do something) and get a emotional high for hours and on the hormonal days where nothing fits right, everyone(/thing) gets on your nerves, "Chocolate " can make life live able once again. Want take a guess what a man's chocolate is? When you were dating sex was fun, endless and you could not want to make love some place daring, romantic or even forbidden. Now it's been there done that "got the T-Shirt". Talk to him and see if he would rather have exceptionally good chocolate once or twice a week or the cheap stuff most people won't even pay for?
2007-03-07 06:14:40 · answer #3 · answered by wiggliy66 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Without a lot of information here, I have to presume that your husband's sex drive satisfies him not you. If you are not having the big O you will never want to do it. Does he satisfy you or is he just "jumping your bones" and relieving himself? Work on more teasing and increased 4 play.
2007-03-07 05:48:38 · answer #4 · answered by Tony S 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to have sex every time he wants it.
So give him a 15 minutes of handy work a night.
Now if you don't have 15 minutes for him at the end of the day, he ought to just dump you and vice verse.
2007-03-07 06:16:48 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
where are you comming from? its not your fault neither is it his, the only thing you need to do is to give it a little effort to satisfy his ego on that area. invest something or deploy a new formular of sex in your sex life , something like toys or movies and probably your personal input will be lessened and his joy will be uplifted.
good luck
2007-03-07 05:53:36 · answer #6 · answered by mini-haven 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because your man hasn't been taught how to be in a marriage relationship. Any man with a brain knows that you have a "sex equity fund" with your wife. You NEVER ASK FOR SEX! That is rule number one. Rule number two is that when you touch your wife, on her skin, her hair, her face, you're just doing it to touch her - you just want to feel her soft skin.
I did this with my wife for over a year and at first it freaked her out a bit because I wasn't asking for sex. But after a while things balanced out and we currently have a fantastic sex life because I don't need sex.
For you men - THE BEST WAY TO GET SEX FROM YOUR WIFE IS TO NOT WANT IT!
FP
2007-03-07 05:41:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Make a date with him and give hi a honey dew list of sexual thing he should do to you, one morning ,for that evening pleasure.
Everyone will be happy then ,and you and he will have all day to think about it!
It really works and sent our marriage to moon if you know what i mean.
Enjoy.
2007-03-07 05:56:09 · answer #8 · answered by Free-Lance 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People have different levels of a sex drive. He is too much for you and deserves to be with someone who wants it as much as he does.
2007-03-07 05:44:17 · answer #9 · answered by Dragonfly 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well one needs to know how much you actually have sex to be able to help, do you think a lot is once a week or once a month, does he wanna do it 4 times a day, we need more info
2007-03-07 05:39:23 · answer #10 · answered by rodie5582 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋