help me please?

Question

im 17 and i think im pregnant. the thing is i want to keep my baby. im gonna be 18 in a few months and i wud finish college 6 months after my baby was born so i wud be able to support it. i dont know how to tell my mum and my boyfriend wants me to have an abortion please help

Answer 1

I would tell your mom. She may freak out at first, thinking that you may not finish school, but if you trust yourself, and you think you will be responsible and do both..than kudos to you! as for your boyfriend..if he didn't want kids, than he shouldn't have done the deed.

Answer 2

If your boyfriend wants you to have an abortion, err on the side of caution and figure that you will be a single parent. You think you would be able to support a baby but I don't know if you know what's involved with that; mainly the daily expense of day care is what is going to suck up most of your take home pay.
Rent's not cheap, diapers are a crushing expense - I always donate diapers at baby showers for that reason. Baby's are exhausting and yet you say you will be working.
It is wonderful, though, that you still plan to finish college. I think it is somewhat optimistic to think that baby will come on a weekend and you will be in class Monday morning with all your papers and tests accomplished on schedule.
I think you're really trying to be positive about this.
You have to tell your mother right now. It's going to be a shock but you need all the help you can get. Good luck, dear!

Answer 3

Well first i would take a test to be sure,then think about what YOU want to do, I don't know how you would finish college 6 months after the baby is born that seems a little quick but anyways, sit down with your mom tell her your going to have a baby and your going to take full responsibility for it. Make sure you do all the talking, and answer all her questions that she will have for you. Remember if she gets mad and yells, its because she loves and would of wanted different for you. But everything will turn out OK. I'm 18 years old and graduated high school in 2006, and 2 weeks ago I told my mom and dad that I was going to have a baby. My mom was real shocked and mad, my dad was real supportive. My mom has gotten over the shock and is supportive of me and my decisions. If YOU want to keep the baby then keep him/her, don't let your boyfriend influence your decision.
hope this helped

Answer 4

I took my mother to a public place and told her I was pregnant. This way she would not make a fool out of me. She is a private person. She came around when the baby came. Her first grandchild. As for your boyfriend, you might have to let him go. Explain to him the reasons you want to keep your baby. Make sure you are keeping the baby for the right reasons. If he decides to leave make sure you take him to court for child support, becasue if he was so sure about not having a baby he should have worn a glove. It is not all that bad. Here is something to cheer you up. When my son turned 5 years old I moved out of my mom's home and into an apartment when my son's father. When I was 25 years old I got pregnant again. I was still with my son's father but we had not made it to the stage of marriage yet. My mother knew we had set a date for marriage for the following year. Once again I took my mom to a public place to tell her I was pregnant again. I got the same look I got when I told her I was pregnang the first time. You mom want so much for you and she would have preferred you lived life a little bit longer before you started having children. She also hoped you would be married before the children too, but you seem to be a very smart person and I do believe you can handle this with our without your boyfriend. You might get scared sometimes but know that your baby is the best thing that could have happened to you. I know my children are. Did I tell you I married the man and have been married for 16 years. I made sure I knew the reasons why I wanted the baby and decided it did not matter if he stayed or left I could do it myself if I had too. Your mom will be there for you. GOOD LUCK

Answer 5

First thing is be sure you are pregnant. have you done a test yet?
Hun, having a kid is the biggest goddamn shock to the system you will ever know. Before you disagree and say you can carry on living your life, finish college, it will be harder than hell to even get yourself out of bed at 3am when they need feeding let alone sitting through a lecture.
Being a mother is hard, bringing up a person who does nothing but scream, p*ss, s*it sleep and eat is by far one of the most exhausting thing a woman can do.
Just Think
All I can advise is speak to your mom, she's had you afterall
If there is anyone who can understand it will be her, please don't be afraid to tell your mom you are pregnant toots!
If your boyfriend wants you to have an abortion, that is undertstandable as I will assume he is the your age or thereabouts, maybe he has been alrmed already to the financial cost of raising a child (it is ridiculously expensive). But it is YOUR decision and yours only

Really think
(Please let us know if you're ok, im all worried now!)

Answer 6

You have a big problem. How do you think you wil graduate college in less than a year? you must mean High School. That is not going to let you be able to support yourself and a baby. There are people with college degrees having a tough time getting good jobs.

You need to tell your parents right away. They are going to find out and sooner is a lot better for you than later. Your boyfriend can voice his opinion but the decission is up to you. You need your parents to help you with this because despite your dreams they are going to have to do a lot of helping you and your child if you are gonna make it so it is only fair to let them know now. You will need lots of help and support because if the guy wants an abortion you can bet he is not gonna be around to help you.

Answer 7

are you sure you are ready?

After your baby is born you may find it hard to finish college and it may be put off for awhile.

At your age you should really think about if you had to raise this child alone without your boyfriend because there is that possiblity esp if he wants you to have an abortion. And are you read for that?

You really have to be ready for a baby to really experience being a parent as it should be. Those who have a baby and just end leaving the baby for others to care for end up missing out on a lot of things that they can never make up for later. The sad thing is that they dont' realize what they are missing out on or dont' care.

Your life will definately change. Most girls I know who had babies young end up going out and partying when their kids are in their teens or so and end up setting a bad example or not spending time with them when they most need it.

I'm not saying you are one of those - just make sure you are not.
Having a child is no joke! It is the most rewarding experience you will ever have if you have a child when you want one or are ready when you are blessed with one unexpetedly.

Answer 8

Since you sound like you have the naivete of most teenagers, let me be a Voice of Reason.

You're turning 18.

You honestly have NO idea what life is.

I strongly advise against keeping the kid, if you want to have anything resembling a life. Once you have a child, your life is dedicated to the baby.

You won't be able to fiscally support the kid. Finishing school will be exceptionally difficult at best, since the first few years of life require more attention to the kid than when she's older.

If you don't want to have an abortion, consider adoption. The kid will have a better life with more mature adults fiscally and psychologically capable of handling the kid. Research also shows that adoptive parents are much less likely to abuse the kid and spend more time with her than biological parents.

This probably sounds harsh, but it's for your own good.

Answer 9

Tell your mother slowly, when she's calm and in a good mood. If she gets mad, jsut let her be and talk to her later when she is calm or else it'll turn into a big fight. Ask her if she can help take care or babysit the baby for the 6 months your still in college. You made a good desicion about staying in college. As for your boyfriend, tell him that you want to keep the baby and that you both can get a job or something to support him/her. Talk to your boyfriend and tell him that you want to have a baby together and that abortion is like killing someone. You made a good decision of keeping the baby too.GOOD LUCK :]

Answer 10

well 1st thing to do is find out for definite, can get a free test at doc, wait about a week for results, or get a good one from chemist.
if you are, and def want to keep it, then i would strongly suggest you defer your final year, as being heavily pregnant trying to finish course will be very difficult, you'll be exhausted most of time, and trying to adjust to giving birth and being a new mum is a tiring business and i don't think you could manage physically trying to get a new job with a very young baby, plus once its born you may not want to leave it with childminder/granny/nursery until it was bit older! i'm a mum of 3, 12, 9 and 2, and when youngest was almost 1 i returned to college, and even as an experienced mum with support from my mum and partner i'm struggling!!!
having a baby is wonderful, life-changing experience, and you need time to adjust mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually too.
so a year off to get sorted out would be best. if your college/uni has a creche, brilliant! book baby in during your year off.
if you're worried about losing touch with friends if you take a year off, then i'd get used to that idea anyway, as you will be a young mum and they'll be full-on students, who will keep in touch but you won't be able to "keep up" with them!!
good on you for being so responsible!
if you are pregnant, then sit b/f down and explain your decision - if he doesnt stand by you then at least you know earlier than later that he's not the guy for you. your mum may go ballistic at 1st (you're still her 'baby' too!) but if you're being this adult and responsible then she'll come round. BUT do consider your options in the eventuality that you WONT get support from her, and think about what you'd do as a single young mum on her own. i'm sure it wont come to that, but its a good idea to imagine life like that and see if think you could cope alone.
the 1st 3 months will be a haze of tiredness, sore boobs, endless bleeding after giving birth and a numb exhaustion! it will also be mind-blowingly beautiful. being a mum is a mad mix of contradicting feelings like this for a long time!!
i hope thats been of some use hun, keep your cool head on, keep strong, whatever transpires and whatever you decide, i wish you all the best and lots of good luck!

Answer 11

DO NOT get an abortion just your b/f told you so.
First, go to the doctor and ask for an HCG blood test..it's the most accurate and easy pregnancy test there is.
It can tell you if you're pregnant or not only a WEEK after you had sex !
If you do anything, give the baby up for adoption so you know he's well taken care of.
I am glad you want go ahead and take care of your kid....very rarely seen, these days.
In the meanwhile, ask your mom a(you didn't mention your dad, so I am assuming that's out) for help .
There's places out there that will give you free clothes and diapers.
Call your local health department.

congrats !