Does anyone really know the secret to lasting relationships?

Question

I have been in and out of relationships all my life. The longest relationship I had was two years, next to that is about 6 months. I am nearly 30. Whilst I have put on weight recently which is slowly coming off (one of the worlds injustices that you can put on weight so much faster than you can take it off!) I am not unattractive, and like I said never really been without romance or male attention. I am bright, funny and I have a lot of friends, and being an engineer am a bit of a tomboy and have some very good male friends. I just don't seem to be able to maintain a long term relationship. It's like there is some trick I just haven't been told about... so on the off chance that I should have asked - what is the trick to making relationships last?

Answer 1

trust and communication-do not take your partner for granted -be together becasue you want to not because its easy and you have to be.

Answer 2

Ah! growing up a tomboy is only natural thing for most. Like what others says here, the best way to keep relationship lasted are communication, then affection, passion, motivation,and romance. Without this qualities, the man that will find you attractive will only have good times and can not gets serious with you. Most men looks for some kind of security that they're the only one for you. Men also immature when it comes to relationship, and that's where we come in,to make them feel important,special,and loved,(even though that it's us that needs this qualities from them)...........just see if you can do this,and who knows it might surprise you in a long run..............

Answer 3

The real secret is in learning to set the pace in how things progress. Remember that you are one of two people involved here. If he doesn't make that next step fast enough to suit you he may not be ready yet. Many relationships fall apart because each person wants to operate under their time table only. It takes patience and willingness to compromise. Many couples date for a couple of years and after deciding to get engaged may take another two to three years to get married. Many just jump into marriage after six months and divorce in another two years. You need to learn to read people a little better and understand what their goals in life are before becoming committed to them. You also accept faults in other people as easily as you accept faults that you have. Sit down one night and make a list of what you are really looking for in a lifetime partner and what faults you can look beyond. Then make a second list of what a man might see in you that could turn him away(do you get possessive or jealous easily, do you come off as superior in intelligence after awhile, do you need to win arguments more than lose them). Be very critical of yourself. After the lists are complete - take the list on yourself and look for ways to improve and implement action to change. Remember it takes two people to make or break a relationship. If you can correct what you don't like about yourself, then you may eliminate half of the reason for failed relationships. As an engineer you can understand the importance of determining cause and effect. After completing this self help course, sit down at the computer and logon to yahoo personals and start filtering out what you don't want in a man and pursue the ones that interest you. It will still be a crap shoot because true love comes down to a roll of the dice, but you will at least have the odds in your favor because you have done everything you could to eliminate yourself as the reason things don't work out as well. Good Luck and Good Hunting. (Remember, when you go hunting you always bring along the right ammunition.)

Answer 4

I am divorced, so obviously no expert :) but I've picked up a few things along the way.
One thing I refused to learn for a long time was that relationships don't just take compromise, they take sacrifice. I am 29, attractive, well educated, a successful business woman. I was most certainly not interested in submitting myself and sacrificing to my marriage.
However, I talked it over with my ego, and we think we're going to do what it takes with our new man. Besides, he does the dishes and the laundry while I'm at work. I can give him a good back rub to thank him, or see a movie I know I won't like.
At the end of the day, it's worth it.

Answer 5

There is no "trick" other than being with someone who is a good match for you. Beyond that, some things that are essential to any good relationship are Communication, Honesty, and Trust for the foundation...many other elements go into helping it be fun and successful, but those 3 are key.

Answer 6

I'm not saying that I know the true answer to your question but let me make a few suggestions.

For starters how are the beginnings to your relationships??
-wait atleast a few dates before becoming intimate
-if you meet in bars/clubs chances are the relationships will be shorter...
-take your time to really get to know the person before you jump into a relationship
-Do you know the person before you start something or do you just meet them are start dating right away

Answer 7

I think you have to sit down and make a list of what you are looking for or what you want in a partner. What is it about you that contributed to the disintegration of all your past relationships - and then do some things to change some negative traits.

On another note, relationships will only be totally fulfilling when you have God as the head of your relationship and God has the head of your lives as an individual.

Answer 8

Honesty
integrity
communication
responsibility
common sense
and patience.

Sometimes, all you can do is be who you were meant to be and wait. Good luck. Just don't let yourself believe that not being in a relationship or runway skinny makes you less of a person or somehow invalidates your need to be in a real, loving relationship.

Answer 9

Well love & respect first, but all good things must come to an end. But when you find the answer you let me know, just be yourself and love them for the way they are and make sure they love you the same. Honesty is what it's all about.

Answer 10

Being very beneficial of the guy you pick. constantly be waiting to communicate to a minimum of one yet another approximately something. Spend relaxing circumstances at the same time, appreciate each and every others corporation, snigger and cry at the same time. have confidence and love with out exception.

Answer 11

it sounds like you have a relatively fulfulling life. i am happily married but you are ten steps above me in the self confidence department already. you will find the right person. sometimes you just have to go through a couple of wrongs. honesty, trust, and love/attraction are the biggest plus' in my marriage.