All mums who's CURRENT partner has to pay the CSA for a child?

Question

UK only please. Do you have kids with a man who has to pay for a child from a previous relationship? I do and we've, just been tols we should come up with £1050, by friday. If not 40% of my partners wages will be taken EACH WEEK, until further notice. We have always provided for this child, but because his ex decides that working just isn't for her, we have to pay the price.
Sorry for the moan. Just wanna hear from anyone in a similar situation. What did you do?(apart from take it up the jaxy from the CSA).

We never gave his ex money. We just provide all her clothes, shoes, school uniform etc. Plus we pay for her after school activities and extra stuff. We all know that any cash would be spent on other things by her mother.

Answer 1

Hi, I used to work for the CSA. It was the worst job in the world! When I worked there we normally offered the absent parent to pay arrears back at £5.20 per week - that was the minimum we were allowed to offer. I always made the lowest agreements possible, because it meant the fathers were more likely to pay up.
You've probably got a scary letter, the wording on the letters is designed to scare you into paying. When you phone up you can make an arrangement to pay the money back in small amounts. The worst thing you can do is to be hostile or ignore them. People I worked with would just take 40%from wages when anyone pissed them off! Phone up as soon as possible and come to an arrangement. Tell them all your expenses. Tell them that the repayments have to be low or else you'll have problems paying the actual weekly maintenance. Say it in a nice way, they're used to people being shitty with them and often just switch off and assume you are a 'problem client' as soon as any hint of annoyance/non co-operation appears.
They are told to try and get you to pay the maintenance as a priority. Whatever they can get you to pay for the arrears on top of that is secondary.
Just be cooperative and 'nice'. And remember, they can make arrangements for as little as £5.20/week so try to keep talking them down on the arrears agreement.
When they take 40% from your wages it is as a last resort. Apart from a few idiots who just did it to people who annoyed them, this only normally happened when the father's didn't phone in at all, ignored letters and never paid the first 2 month's. You always get phone calls and other warning letters before they take from your wages. They really don't want it to happen.
Please ring them, remember they're only human. The people answering the phone who deal with your case didn't write the letters, the high up civil servants who never have to actually speak to real people write those idiotic letters. The wording in the letters is simply to get you to sit up and take notice.
Hope that helps.
You can also get someone in the citizen's advide bureau to deal with it all for you if it is all too much stress for you, some people do that and even get all the letters sent to the CAB instead of their home.
But really, just ring and have a chat about it.They nicer you are the nicer they are, the more in contact with them you are, the less likely it is that they will do anything to annoy you.
Good Luck.
Oh, if your partner has already paid his ex during the period they are charging you the £1050 for, then you can get that taken off the arrears. If he has bank statements or reciepts or can get her to tell them that he has already made payments for he period the arrears amount covers. He shouldn't have to pay twice.

Answer 2

I would appeal against this.

I did after i got letter demanding £1000. I proved i was paying my ex mrs £250 a month they wiped the so called off. If you have any bank statements that show what you have paid before send them copies Demand the ex shows all payments she has recieved.
Never give cash to an ex for child payment no matter how well you/he get on with the ex. learnt the hard way

Answer 3

do no longer touch the CSA!!!! anticipate them to touch your significant different. it is needed no longer handy over any upkeep money without getting a receipt. shop a record of "all monies"paid to the ex..If and whilst the CSA touch your significant different you will probable finally end up able have been you ultimately finally end up paying extra effective than the youngster upkeep your significant different is paying on the 2d.it is needed totally help the little ones yet take my advice--keep away from touch with the CSA.

Answer 4

Heed the good and lengthy advice of Kathy D. She is an insider...remember never cash...cancelled cheques can prove you paid. Exs can and do get cheeky no matter how initially jovial.