My husband and I have been married for four years. We had amazing sex before marriage and even the first two years after. Now, he feels that I've pushed him away so much that he's lost touch with his manhood. He feels that he can never get over this and he resents me for it. I never felt like I pushed him away to that extent. No, I was not willing 100% of the time, but neither was he. He's hurt my confidence level too. What do we do? We love each other very much and we both know this. HELP!
2007-03-07 04:35:15 · 11 answers · asked by babygirl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
We have been talking about this for a while now. Most of the time it's very calm and relaxed. Sometimes it gets real deep and hurtful. Is talking about it a lot going to help or should we lay off of so much conversation about it. We've been talking about this off and on for two weeks now. I've gptten more and more clarification each time we discussed but he seems to be very angry.
2007-03-07 08:49:18 · update #1
He's lost touch with his manhood? What is he ...14?!
Manhood has nothing to do with how much sex he is getting. Manhood is being able to be compassionate, emapthic toward your partner's needs, wants and desires.
COMMUNICATION.
Both of you need to communicate to each other your thoughts without the other jumping all over it or being defensive.
You both love each other and so you owe it to yourself and each other to hear each other out.
In the BIG picture of life, he can spend a very very long time on this hurt that he feels and you can have your confidence level at a low OR this can be a blip on the radar screen of your life together and move forward.
If you don't want to talk, then do actions:
The two of you get a movie to watch together and snuggle up on the couch. If you initiate a simple arm stroking or hand massaging and let things go from there, you'll be amazed at what happens.
If he pushes you away then that is a perfect time for talking about it.
2007-03-07 04:49:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Counselling? Maybe. But you're both adults.
Marriage cannot be sustained by sex alone. My marriage was built on friendship. And it evolved. It is a "growing life experience". Marriage is understanding, mutual respect, friendship, and communication.
If he feels you're pushing him away, I would hope the two of you can discuss the why of it.
Resentment held is destructive. I'll bet you both realize that.
For now, are there things you can do as a couple without the result having to end sexually? If so, do it.
Give each other time. Talk about your expectations and his. DO NOT ARGUE about it.
Realize that love evolves as you grow together. Sex, will not be as strong a factor as it was earlier in your relationship.
Talk about work. Sports. The news. Anything that will occupy your minds other than sex.
Don't mistake what I'm saying. Sex has it's place and time and will come again (no pun intended). Hopefully, it will be there when you're both ready for it.
Life does go on. Share & care. Best to both of you.
2007-03-07 13:16:47 · answer #2 · answered by Bob 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you're both blaming the other for certain things and are both resentful.
Either it will take couples' counseling, or you can both put your minds to it to put the past behind you and start fresh (if you're both willing to let go of the past). Maybe a renewal of vows and a vacation away from the daily grind could help.
2007-03-07 12:39:51 · answer #3 · answered by charmedchiclet 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Pray that he be blessed with health, happiness and prosperity. Replace the negative thought patterns with positive ones and before long you will both be rolling in the hay like you were when you first met.
Be forgiving, and kind, if you aren't in the mood let him know you still desire him but you aren't feeling well and ask him for a rain check.
2007-03-07 13:06:53 · answer #4 · answered by andy r 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Thank You for opening my eyes, maybe I should pay a little more attention to my husband. I would recommend starting over, cuddle close at night, caress him and try to be intimate with him. Good Luck, hopefully things will work out for you.
2007-03-07 12:42:31 · answer #5 · answered by Cheryl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmm try small kind things to each other. try them through out each day. make small intimate outings together without intent or pressure of sex, but with treating each other sweetly along with simple affectionate gestures during walks or picnics at the beach or park or hiking trails. do physical outings together...fresh air and sunshine and youthful feelings may help bring you back to how it once was. one thing may lead to another. good luck. peace
2007-03-07 12:40:53 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you need to seek professional help. A therapist can help you as well as your husband deal with the issues and help you two to reconnect!
Goodluck!
2007-03-07 12:44:36 · answer #7 · answered by MJ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage counsellor help.
2007-03-07 12:37:41 · answer #8 · answered by Bright 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don know
slap the hardware harder
maybe he can walk it off
2007-03-07 12:38:38 · answer #9 · answered by willow 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump him and get you a real man honey. That will teach him a lesson!
2007-03-07 12:38:31 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋