I dont know what my position is here. We are not married and I am sure he has already called his ex wife to tell her all about it. He calls her if he gets a headache. She seems to get the 1st word on everything. Its almost like they are not divorced sometimes. Actually, I think he would be an excellent polygamist.
What should I say or do? I go to his family functions, but everytime something in his family occurs, his ex wife shows up with her box of tissues putting on a great big show and making sure everyone knows she is present.
My dad died last year and I was in so much grief it was the saddest day of my life and he didnt even sit next to me at his funeral. He is so inconsiderate
I have considered sending a card or a flower to the hospital, but I feel stupid putting on my name only on the card, but he certainly will not contribute to the cost. Should I just pretend like nothing happened and stay out of it? Family things make me nervous
2007-03-07 04:09:31 · 10 answers · asked by happydawg 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
The ex wife is re married for 5 yrs and gets into all of the family business. Heck, they all get together and go to her house for family events and hang out with her. I dont get it, and never will. Its like she never left.
2007-03-07 04:30:35 · update #1
A friend is there when they are needed. They do not think of things such as was he here for me or if the ex has been told. You must concentrate on being the best you that you can be. You can not control anyone but yourself. Treat him how you would like to be treated.
2007-03-07 04:16:51 · answer #1 · answered by Toolegit 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you honestly care about his brother, then by all means send a card or something (it doesn't have to be anything expensive, mind you). Just a card to let him know that you care about his well being is thoughtful. Don't let your natural caring nature be influenced by what stupid things your boyfriend has done to you.
Your boyfriend should have been there for you not just physically, but also mentally when you had to deal with your father's death. And unfortunately, I hate to say it, but your boyfriend is still attached to his ex. Take a step back and re-examine your relationship and I am sure that you will see that he has done other thoughtless things to you that you either simply missed, or you pretended not to see because you were in love. If he truly loved you or cared about you, he would not have so much contact with this ex-YOU should be the first person he calls, NOT her. Something is definitely going on with those two. When you are ready, move on to the next man...who will be more sympathetic to your needs and is honest about where his feelings lie! Good luck.
2007-03-07 04:31:51 · answer #2 · answered by True Hija De Oshun! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
By all means, send a card and some flowers to the brother. His being in the hospital is about him, not what's going on between the two of you. But you have to ask yourself, why are you in a relationship where the guy doesn't support you during a time of need and still involves his ex-wife in everything? It may be time to move on.
2007-03-07 04:14:37 · answer #3 · answered by Sharon M 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry about your father. That was very inconsiderate that he didn't sit with you at the funeral.
Are you sure your boyfriend's ex wife is really an ex? He needs to let her go if he wants to be in another relationship. As far as his brother, I think I might call the hospital to see how he's doing, but if your boyfriend is not going to even contribute to the cost of flowers (they're so expensive!!!), I wouldn't send anything. Maybe go visit him with your boyfriend.
2007-03-07 04:21:52 · answer #4 · answered by spelling nazi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like a jerk. It wouldn't hurt to send cards and flowers.
I think the real issue here is that you are wondering if the relationship is working and if he still putting the ex wife before you. It sounds like he is and why should you put up with that if she is the ex. I think you should give some thought about calling it quits.
2007-03-07 04:26:47 · answer #5 · answered by Lou 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is something of which you know but dont want to hear, dont waste more time with him, he has no plans to marry you or to be with you forever. He has some form of relationship still with his ex wife and she still sounds very attached to him, if he was not there for you a year ago when you needed him most why are you still there for him?
trust me this is the time for you to let go and walk away.
2007-03-07 04:15:06 · answer #6 · answered by Blessed Rain 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you truly love him then it won't matter weather his ex is their.How long were they married?Do they have children together?I have been where you are my girlfriends ex's aunt is dying and I have to be there for her.As far as when your Dad passed did you ask him to sit with you or just expect it.Sometimes men don't know what we want.Its his brother for Gods sake you should be thinking of him not you.Be their for him and comfort him.Pray for the strength to be there for him,pray for the recovery of his brother,and pray for the family.
2007-03-07 04:20:46 · answer #7 · answered by Heather T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you should be there for your man and his brother's illness. send a card and a teddy bear, flowers or something. on the card only put your name as respect. it will make your man's ex wife jealous and pissed off. if your man doesn't treat u well u should leave his *** after this.
2007-03-07 04:36:55 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call your bf & be like " Oh my goodness is there anything I can do ? " more then likely he will say no , then just say well I am here for you if you or your family needs anything . about his wife thing , UGH yuck makes me sick how do you deal with that ! I know woman like that .... ignore her as best as you can , as far as when your dad died, im sorry he didnt comfort you better, sorry for your loss .
your bf sounds like a jerk .
2007-03-07 04:14:47 · answer #9 · answered by mommaknowsbest 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him you are sorry to hear about brother and let him know you are there for him if he wants you to go with him to visit. if he declines then there is nothing you can do but take the hint that he wants his wife back
2007-03-07 04:15:40 · answer #10 · answered by jezbnme 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋