Just a rant....Why to b/feeding moms insist on answering questions about formula?

Question

Okay, we ALL know "breast is best!!" but why do you b/feeding mom's insist on getting all up in everyone's questions about formula or bottle feeding? I know I'm opening myself up for some nasty answers...I expect nothing less from SOME of you(note, I said SOME). Mom's come here to ask serious questions and if you don't have experience with the subject or a real answer...don't answer! Is that really difficult? I breastfed and formula fed and I would never answer a formula question with insults or judgment. Every single one of us is just trying to survive and make the correct decision for OUR families. What's wrong with that?

Mommy of David: Darlin' the only thing that gets my attention is you answering questions of which you have no first-hand knowledge. I've got another word for your attitude...and it isn't "snarky." But thank you very much for answering my question(and proving Liyah's Mommy point). It IS really difficult for you to keep your opinions to yourself....especially when you haven't been asked. Thanks for clearing that up for us all. Oh, and also for imparting your sage, breastmilk widsom on us...I know we are much better mothers now that we've been put in our places.

Mommy of David: No....you don't have first hand knowledge about formula. I mean, how could you if you've never used it? You continue to prove my point about needing to be right. Extra points for being scrappy though...I like scrappy.

Scrappy=full of fighting spirit. It's not an insult....I myself am scrappy. Here's my story, just so you DO have all the facts: I b/fed for 4 months and hated every moment b/c of the pain. I went to 3 lactation consultants and all I got was, "He's latching correctly but he's has an extremely strong sucking reflex!" I was also battling postpardum depression and barely holding it together. I was NOT being the best mother and wife I could possibly be and I felt guilty for that. It was my mother-who b/fed all 3 children for over a year in the 70's when it wasn't popular and supported-who told me "something has to give. Quit b/feeding." I listened to my mom, and guess what? I don't regret my decision at all. So please don't go on and on about "supporting women" b/c what you do isn't supportive of women who are sinking. We've all got our stories, and no body(including you)has the right to say which is worse than the other.

Answer 1

My personal belief? In some cases, the women truly believe that everyone who gives their baby formula is uninformed/ignorant, and they're trying to enlighten them. Perhaps they're a little over the top sometimes, but, I DO think that for some of them, they're trying to help. Especially in a breastfeeding vs bottlefeeding question.

Other times, I think they're just taking the pre-school approach of cutting others down to build themselves up. It's not just breast vs. bottle. There's day care vs stay at home, baby food vs baby led feeding, co-sleeping vs cribs, vaccinations vs. no/delayed vaccinations, etc. Sometimes I think that the people who behave that way must be insecure in some aspect of their parenting, so they cling to the breastfeeding as "proof" that they're better moms than others, regardless of their other decisions (I've seen some who cite the AAP and WHO as if they were the be all and end all regarding breastfeeding, and the same people completely disregard the AAP and WHO's recommendations regarding cosleeping and vaccinations). To be honest, I find myself MENTALLY doing it occassionally; thinking, "Oh, well, at least I don't leave my baby in day care all day", or whatever, even though I know it's catty and petty, and I'm just trying to make up for whatever I feel insecure about (not being able to bf exclusively, perhaps?).

For the record, I pump and formula feed my 8 month old(certified low producer :-) - did just abouteverything possible, but still have to supplement), wear my baby, co-sleep occassionally (she naps on me for all her naps, but MOST nights sleeps in her crib), am ontime for vaccinations (except flu as we have a familial history of extremely adverse reactions), she began eating foods at 4 months (pulling them off my plate, so, baby-led by default), disposable diapers, and a sort of SAHM (I work part-time, but Baby is with me the whole time).

Good luck.

Answer 2

I agree. I'm breastfeeding and on occasion my son gets a bottle of formula. I use the kind that the hospital recommended. Other than that I know very little about it. I hate to see people insulting moms that bottle feed. Breastfeeding is hard sometimes and I don't blame them one bit for making the decision to bottle feed. Not to mention there are a lot of women out there who are just not able to breastfeed.

Answer 3

Its because for every mother that has done her research and decided logically how to feed her baby; There are scores that just do what they have seen or been passively taught, which is to go straight to a substandard food. Then they come on here with all sorts of problems that could have been avoided had they fed their baby the way nature intends.

Not everybody knows that "breast is best" (which it isn't. It's normal, everything else is substandard) So many people come on here saying things like, "formula is just as good" or "my baby was so hungry he wanted to eat every hour so i gave him formula." Then there are those that complain about how expensive formula is and stick their babies on starch right away.

I like to post articles that may get people thinking instead of just following the herd blindly. if these do not apply to you feel free to disregard, but there may be someone out there that simply does not have the right information. THAT is WHy we post!

(Note to juniormints...) There is no such thing as a breastfeeding nazi. passionate lactivists have never gassed and burned millions of innocent people. Never has a nursing mother made a lampshade of human skin or melted down the fillings of thousands of jewish people. Watch your language please.

Answer 4

I am a breastfeeding mom to a 9 month old, and I say, whoever answers a formula-feeding mother's questions with anything less than helpful, on topic advice should just be quiet. Just because a woman chooses formula doesn't mean that she isn't entitled to advice on preparation, how much to feed, etc. I answer FF questions because in ways it is similar - Seriously, aren't we all just trying to feed our children? Save the lactivism for the appropriate topics, and even then, it should be done with respect. What's ironic is that these women who feel the need to berate other women would NOT do this in real life, because any woman who would do that to me would get a pop in the jaw.

Feeding a child formula is not like giving them Draino - so get over it. While it is not as OPTIMAL (key word: optimal here) as breastmilk, it still supplies the calories and vitamins that babies need to develop.

Mommy to David: Get off your sanctimonious horse! Women do NOT need women with your attitude. Save all of that for your community, or something..but please spare everyone. For women that need breastfeeding advice, GIVE IT TO THEM. For those who don't want to, if you can't simply just give them tips on how to feed their child, then STFU. You are not a banner wearing mom because you breastfeed, cloth diaper, etc. I am happy that I breastfed my baby, she has less ear infections, etc., but that is only because WE WERE A GREAT breastfeeding team.

Answer 5

Ok, I am currently breastfeeding my daughter (well not at this exact moment -haha). I breastfed and bottle fed my son (formula). I don't pass any kind of judgement on women who choose to bottle feed. I think it is totally up to each individual mother. There are plenty of good formulas out there- they are just too expensive in my opinion. So to answer your question: Some breastfeeding mothers do have experience with formula as well. But it is totally wrong for us to pass any kind of judgement on mothers who bottle feed.

By the way, I was formula fed and I turned out just fine!!

Answer 6

I was so glad to read this question! I am new here and I am amazed at some of the stuff people are jamming down our throats! We are all trying to do whats best for our child and for someone to tell me that I am doing a bad job being a mom because I give my children formula...or god forbid a pacifier..something is wrong there! I do what I can for my children just like the rest of us. Breastfeeding is a choice...for some of us it just doesnt work. And for someone like me who was TRYING to breastfeed preemie twins and it just didnt work because their mouths werent big enough i get the 3rd degree! Oh it kills me. I even went as far to pump for 2 months. When you are pumping an ounce..and getting ZERO sleep because you are feeding babies back to back and then pumping after. People have a lot of nerve!!! Sorry this is my own personal rant. Sorry that us mothers of formula fed babies are out there...sorry if we inconvience you with our "silly" questions..but our questions are legitamate..we need answers just like everyone else!

Answer 7

It's not just breastfeeding and formula...it's also solids...and I've come across a few other subjects here...

There are some people on here that are just hard core in their beliefs...

Which is fine...

But that doesn't mean they need to shove it down our throats ...

or condemn us for not buying into their propaganda.

And it doesn't matter if it "makes you feel better"...it doesn't mean you have to be rude.


To each his own...


***

Again...

Offering information = helpful

Shoving information down peoples throats
brow beating
scare tactics
being rude = not helpful

Answer 8

If this is the only place people get in your face breastfeeding nazis breathing down their necks then I am jealous! I am unable to breastfeed due to medical reasons, which some of these women choose to ignore exist, so whenever I am actually feeding my child in public I would get nasty looks and comments for idiotic know it alls who have decided that it is their job to police the worlds baby population and what they are eating. I used to explain it to them, now I just tell them to get bent, suck it up and move on because I don;t associate with judgmental morons.

Unfortunately, there are more of the non nazi breastfeeders out there that are level headed and understand that everyone has a right to make a decision that is either medically necessary or simply what is best for their family then there are nazi ones. The nazis stick in our minds though because they piss us off.

To the responder who has decided to tell everyone that formula is sub standard, fine, your right it is...sub standard or not...there are some of us out there who have to use it, we have no choice. Being one of them I have to say i am grateful it is a good as it is, since it is the SECOND BEST thing I can give my child. You and others like you will not make me feel guilty or bad about making a decision for my child that is in her best interests, or would you suggest I simply starve my children since I am unable to produce milk?

EDIT: Hypermama.....I can call you whatever I want, I choose Nazi, deal with it. I will wait for my violation notice, since you apparently are one of THOSE that can;t deal with other people having opinions.

Answer 9

I've wondered this too. I've come to the conclusion that it's only the militant anti-formula breastfeeders who answer formula questions with nasty, hateful replies.

All the good, kind, NICE breastfeeding women out there really, honestly don't care who feeds their kid what. They're concerned with THEIR OWN child and are too busy to write nasty replies to someone who asks a simple question about baby formula. My guess is that these women are incredibly bored, too.

Answer 10

I breastfed my daughter until she was about 4 months old and then I had to give her formula due to myself starting to produce less milk.

My son who is 3 months today, started out as a breastfed baby, but in the hospital when he was only a few days old wasn't getting enough so I had to substitute with formula. Now he is mostly on formula and if he is still hungry or very tired I give him the breast.

(I give him the breast when he is tired, he calms down and falls asleep).