Bedrooms Problems - Is He Just Not That Into Me?

Question

He calls me every day, sometimes more than once - we were good friends for months, but now he calls me his girlfriend - we've slept together 3 x since January, but each time he had "equipment probems". he swears it's him, not me - thanks me for not putting pressure on him - says he is attracted to me, but i am beginning to think he is just not that into me & is trying not to hurt my feelings. he keeps calling though, sends me flowers, buys me gifts, is nice to my kids. i have met his kids. anyone else go thru something like this?

(we are both in our 40's - i have been told by other men i am attractive & in good shape, he tells me he is under a lot of stress - does take meds for cholesterol, but is in decent shape - back in the day he was known as a ladies man, so i am a little confused - his ex-wife did cheat on him)

Answer 1

It sounds like he is very much into you!! In his 40's, with children, high stress level....He probably has a legitimate problem. Be supportive, advise him to discuss it with his doctor and DO NOT lose patience with him or get upset! It sounds like you're OK there but it could be very destructive to his self esteem.

Answer 2

when man get older(over 25)they develope medical problems

Penile erection
An uncircumcised penis flaccid (left) and erect (right)

The pituitary gland [citation needed], the prostate [citation needed] and testosterone all have an important role in the process of erection of a penis.

A penile erection occurs when two tubular structures that run the length of the penis, the corpora cavernosa, become engorged with venous blood. This may result from any of various physiological stimuli. The corpus spongiosum is a single tubular structure located just below the corpora cavernosa, which contains the urethra, through which urine and semen pass during urination and ejaculation, respectively. This may also become slightly engorged with blood, but less so than the corpora cavernosa.

Penile erection usually results from sexual stimulation and/or arousal, but can also occur by such causes as a full urinary bladder or spontaneously during the course of a day or at night, often during erotic or wet dreams (see "nocturnal penile tumescence"). An erection results in swelling and enlargement of the penis. Erection enables sexual intercourse and other sexual activities (sexual functions), though it is not essential for all sexual activities.
A circumcised penis flaccid (left) and erect (right)
A circumcised penis flaccid (left) and erect (right)

In the presence of mechanical stimulation, erection is initiated by the parasympathetic division of the autonomic nervous system (ANS) with minimal input from the central nervous system. Parasympathetic branches extend from the sacral plexus into the arteries supplying the erectile tissue; upon stimulation, these nerve branches initiate the release of nitric oxide, a vasodilating agent, in the target arteries. The arteries dilate, filling the corpora spongiosum and cavernosa with blood. Erection subsides when parasympathetic stimulation is discontinued; baseline stimulation from the sympathetic division of the ANS causes constriction of the penile arteries, forcing blood out of the erectile tissue.

The cerebral cortex can initiate erection in the absence of direct mechanical stimulation (in response to visual, auditory, olfactory, imagined, or tactile stimuli) acting through erectile centers in the lumbar and sacral regions of the spinal cord. The cortex can suppress erection even in the presence of mechanical stimulation, as can other psychological, emotional, and environmental factors.

The opposite term is detumescence.

Clitoral erection

Answer 3

It sounds like he is very much into you but maybe he has a confidence problem that goes back to when he found out that his ex-wife cheated on him. You need to keep being supportive and in time he will learn to be comfortable with you and all will be good in the bedroom. It sounds more mental issue than physical problem.

Answer 4

my fiancee is heading toward 40 and he has the same problem, just be patient with him because a man who is romantic, loving, and accepting of your kids is really hard to find these days. Don't worry sounds like he's totally into you! Congrats! Value the man that you have, don't take his 'problem' personally, and be supportive.

Answer 5

Try to get him to talk to a doctor. Many guys in their forties are still capable, but the natural dropoff in their performance freaks them out, and they can't overcome the fact that they aren't as good as they once were. I have the same problem, it took all I had to please my wife in my 30's and 20's.....how can I possibly please her now that I have lost some of my vitality?

Answer 6

maybe he needs viagra.