Five year itch?

Question

I have been with my man for 5 years, recently I have been fantasising about being with other men, a lot! I love my man to bits and have a lot to loose if I end the relationship. We have a 10 year age gap and I think it is taking its toll! In an ideal world I would like to go off and experiment, but still be close to him.

Answer 1

Talk to him, and spice up your sex life. Do something you dont normally do with each other. I could give examples, but I'll get a violation! e-mail me if you want more advice. I've been in simular situation before and the change worked!
Like you say, if you've too much to loose dont play away, play different

Answer 2

Don't itch! Just spice up what you already have. A 10 year age difference is nothing. A relationship is about investment and hard work. If your man is so perfect, Don't take the chance of hurting him by messing around, or risk losing him. Think about all the things that make you love him, think about the love and respect he offers you and work on building this up more. Look at the reality around you, all those single people searching desperately to find what you have, true love. I understand where you're coming from, it happens to us all that now and again we get fed up or distracted and we don't appreciate what we really have. Five year itch is a myth, an feeble excuse. Think of all the wonderful things you experienced with your man during those five years, multiply this happy feeling by your life and that will give you the answer you are looking for. Perhaps your relationship has become stale, that you both take each other for granted, that he is more mature in his years and way of thinking, more settled in his life. But you have the power to change this and add kinky games, more nice cuddles, and more communication to your relationship in order to make it last. Don't feel bad about having ideas, this is human, but the error is to throw it all away. Perhaps add a bit of fantasy to your relationship, role play that you meet him in the street, he could talk dirty to you, and whatever your imagination wants, there is no limit. But if you know that you have a lot to lose and I don't mean in a materialistic way, but on the emotional front, well then work on what you have rather than finding another guy. It's sure you will find a guy for an affair easily, that's all men want, but it is a cheap means of comfort and a lot of guilt. Or try to discover yourself and your own body, yes it is better with someone that you love, but why not love yourself a bit too. Finally, the flame in your relationship depends on what both of you want, it requires communication and time investment. This is the reality of life, join the club, but make the right decision, the one that is in your heart not in your head.

Answer 3

well hun if it was that easy the world would have no divorce/seperation/break ups!!!
You have two choices here:
1- you start messing around behind his back and run the risk of loosing him. Decieve him and cheat on him - which Im sure he doesnt deserve
2- you stick with it - overcome these feelings you're currently having and sleep comfortably at night knowing you've done the right thing!
Relationships are never easy - we always want something we dont or cant have - but you just have to decide whats more important! if you love him and value your relationship you'll forget these notions you're having. Why not try and inject a bit of a boost into your current sexual relationship - you'd never know - he could secretly be wishing for the same thing!!
If however there are other factors other than the sex that may be turning your head towards other men then maybe its time to readress your romance with this guy - breaking up with someone is always hard to do - particularly after 5 years - even if you have a lot to loose - are you sure you can stay with this man for the longterm?
xx

Answer 4

Unfortunately its decision time and you need to choose one way or another.

You may be experiencing the grass is greener concept because you have been out of the game for so long.

My advice is that if you really love this guy you will stick by him. Is he worth leaving for a few meaningless flings? Do you think that you will continue to feel like this? Is the age gap just an excuse for how you feel? Can you imagine your life without him?

Its really hard, but you have to decide one way or another.

Answer 5

You don`t live in an ideal world, you can`t have your cake and eat. Look for ways of having a new man in the man you have. For instance have your bedroom antics become stale? Spice them up . Treat your man to a make-over. Do something together you haven`t done before ie salsa dancing, swimming, sword fencing. Life becomes boring only if you let it.
You say you have a lot to lose so don`t even think about cheating.

Answer 6

Red light spells danger!! If you want to stay with this man you are going to have to get over these feelings of itchy feet! If you love him, you'll get over it. I can understand the problem with the age gap, but is the grass really greener? Do you want the thrill of an affair and the danger of getting caught because you feel in a rut? Find something exciting to do with your man. It may be a sexual game, a sexual risk in public, a holiday, just something to put the sparkle and zest back.

Answer 7

I no exactly what you mean!!Iv just been in this situation and got to a point where i had to decide which 1 i wanted more -- and i choose the single life!!!I needed to experiment things before i got too old and although i loved my man very much the urge to go and sleep with other men was much stronger,so now thats what im doing!!Think carefully though before you end things coz the grass isnt always greener!! x

Answer 8

You need to understand what it is that is causing you to want to look elsewhere. Is the love-making not doing it for you any more? In which case you could just talk to him about it and make him understand your needs. It could just genuinely be a craving that you have for extra attention, in which case a one-night stand may satisfy your desire. You will then of course have the consequences of a guilty conscience to deal with...its just a case of whether you are comfortable with keeping that sort of secret from your fella? How would you feel if he did the same thing to you?!
Talk to him about it and see where it goes from there.

Answer 9

I have been with my man for 5 years. I love him and would never consider doing anything with anyone else.
It sounds to me like you long for excitement and passion. Maybe this relationship isn't best for you or maybe you need to add spice to the bedroom.
Do some soul searching to find out do you really love him or are you afraid of loosing the lifestyle that comes along with him (you're home money etc) Be honest with yourself.
Good luck.

Answer 10

My boyfriend and I have been together a little over 5yrs and I have been feeling this weird but not trusting myself, but not going to do something. Would be easy and its not sleeping with a person that would just mean relationship over I think it is the kiss and flirting and kissing alittle bit more. But I wouldn t want it happen to me. So the day I say I can get the urge and do it and not care is the day it is over between us.