My hubby and I are not getting along at all! It's been going on for weeks. He is relentless. As much as I've tried to calm him down, sacrifice, and compromise, there is simply NO reasoning with him.
So, I think that if I just let him be for a week or so, he'll come around.
I plan to blast my I POD at home and wear something like horse blinders so that I can't hear or see him when we are home together.
I know this is a bit much, but we can't stand the sight or sound of each other.
2007-03-07 02:52:43 · 7 answers · asked by Reserved 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'm REALLY looking for ideas of how to make human blinders.
This is what horse blinders look like..
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blinders
2007-03-07 02:59:56 · update #1
I understand how you feel but wouldn't it be easier to move in with a friend or family member for a week or so? Don't act needy, just give him a little time to appreciate you.
2007-03-07 02:57:25 · answer #1 · answered by katydid 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Frankly, I think you are as much of the problem as he is. I hope you find this helpful as that is my intent.
First, not getting along for weeks. The old cliche is true, it take two to have a fight, so in some way, you too are contributing to not getting along. I don't know how. I believe if you are honest, you will figure it out.
Second, calming him down. It's a subtle controlling tactic by you. You are telling him his emotions are wrong. If he tells you to not be sad or whatever, I doubt you like it. So telling him to calm down is you doing exactly the same thing.
What can you do instead? Set a boundary. Tell him if he is going to express his anger by ___________ (fill in the blank), you are going to leave until he is finished. Acknowledge his anger (or whatever emotion) but be clear that you will not stick around for specific manifestations of that anger.
It seems subtle, but it's far different from saying he must calm down or trying to calm him down.
Next, sacrifice. Typically this is bad. Why? Because too much sacrifice leads to resentment. I believe I sense resentment based on what you write.
Instead of sacrifice, it is better to seek solutions that both of you can mutually and enthusiastically embrace. Sacrifice typically means you are not enthusiastic about the solution.
You idea that there is no reasoning with him is flawed and judgmental. Perhaps you have not found a way, but others can, or perhaps the two of you simply have perspectives that are very far apart.
If others are able to reason with him. If he can hold down a job without getting fired, things like that, then at some level, there IS the ability to reason with him.
You may be right, YOU may not be able to reason with him. However, is it possible that there is a better way to go about this?
I really don't know. I just hope you can look into yourself honestly and find the things YOU can do better. Your relationship with him may never get better.
However, I believe if you take what I'm saying seriously, then you will be a better person, regardless of his actions.
2007-03-07 11:13:55 · answer #2 · answered by camys_daddy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Or... you could just apologize for whatever you did....
Here's the thing, men don't hold grudges, that's why we can call each other the ugliest, fat, gay bastard in the world and then go crack a beer or shoot hoops as if nothing happened. If he is continuing to be angry then it means the problem hasn't been resolved.
And for the sake of argument, lets just say that your right in whatever the issue is... is being right really worth all of this? Would just apologizing for the situation in general be better, more peaceful, easier to live with?
Why does this have to be a fight?
Men don't hold grudges.
2007-03-07 11:05:48 · answer #3 · answered by David P 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say you wait till he is sleeping on the couch then pour gasoline aound the living room and set him on fire. Then go out for some pizza. These people cant be serious!
2007-03-07 11:05:02 · answer #4 · answered by Devdude 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
.Try glacier sunglasses, they already have the blinders built in and the dark/mirror lenses make you look inaccessible.
I found these on EBay
2007-03-07 11:03:19 · answer #5 · answered by srthompson01 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get some really dark sunglasses, hope things work out.
2007-03-07 10:57:59 · answer #6 · answered by someone 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
pack on 100 pounds and quit bathing, he would probably avoid you and stop looking at you then!...Hey, as long as your throwing out exaggerated ideas thought I could too!
2007-03-07 11:09:53 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋