As far back as I can remember I have never liked being by myself for even semi-short time frames. I would always find a way to be around someone else even if it were a store full of strangers.
Anyway, I have always known this was kind of weird. That there are plenty of people that actually enjoy when they can find a minute or two to themselves.
I am not sure what has caused this particular weirdness of mine. Perhaps it was from being picked on constantly in school and then having to spend a ton of time alone whether I liked it or not. Or perhaps it stems back to my problem of people pleasing. Like I don't know what to do if I'm not doing something to make someone else happy.
I dunno. I think it would help to know the root cause, but at this point I'm drawing a blank.
So after some thought, I am determined to finally be able to get past this weirdness.
Any suggestions? Or any speculations as to why I am this way?
2007-03-07 02:43:20 · 6 answers · asked by zyllee 5 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I am particularly interested in learning to get past this because I am in a wonderful relationship for the first time in my life and I don't want to mess it up.
2007-03-07 02:45:02 · update #1
I have some hobbies but nothing I really enjoy a lot.
2007-03-07 03:16:46 · update #2
You are not wierd, you just feel things differently and thats affecting you. I had the same thing years ago so I'll use myself as an example. I was always picked on in school. I felt unaccepted, inferior, and scared to offend anyone by doing anything they may think was stupid. At that time I had low self esteem, and was introverted. It took many years, but what you need to do is get to a point where you know inside that you don't need any one else. You do not need their OK, you do not need their acceptance, you certainly do not need to impress them or anyone else. The only person you have to impress is yourself (maybe mom too). You have to get to the point where you are happy with yourself and just being alone. It took a bit of a traumatic divorce to snap me completely out of it, but with the right mind set anyone can just work out the common sense of it in their own head. Next time your alone, think about how free you are. You can do what ever you want and not have to answer to anyone. Thats a free feeling and it is good. You can walk around in your undershorts and think who cares this feels good to me, I'm comfortable. You can eat dinner when you want and not have to cater to anyone elses needs or desires. You can decide not to bathe for a few days and who cares, its what makes you happy.
2007-03-07 02:56:56 · answer #1 · answered by Sane 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i would second the idea of picking up a hobby...besides pleasing others, what do you enjoy to do? If you like to read, join a book club...if you like crafts, try painting or drawing....i am kind of in the middle as far as enjoying spending time alone, but i recently started an internship 4 hours away from my home and college...needless to say, i really dont know anyone and I am the only one 21 or even near that age at the company...i recently received a wood burner as a gift and am starting to explore my creative side...it just takes some getting used to, but you should realize that YOU are a worthwhile person to spend time with, obviously if you are in a relationship that is true, so maybe take on a job or just pick up a hobby...or join a gym...there are plenty of things you can do for YOU
2007-03-07 10:53:59 · answer #2 · answered by YouKnowImRight 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I am so happy for you that you found the great relationship. Well, I am in the great relationship, and I love being alone, and I always find things to do for myself, or by myself, and I'm happy. Also, I love being with my husband, I can't even think my life without him.
To be able to be happy when you are alone, is to find a hobby or things that you like for yourself. Even playing a video game, gardening, cooking or reading a book. Find something that you are interested in, and maybe you and your mate can find something you both are interested in. Being needy is the worst thing for the relationship, because you are together because you need that person to put roof over your head or feed the family, not because you choose to be with that person. So being independent and being happy for who you are, is always good thing for everything and everyone.
2007-03-07 11:02:40 · answer #3 · answered by Pluto 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the first answer. Find a hobby such as reading, playing video games, surfing the net, cooking, or something else that doesn't require interaction with other people.
You probably need to see a therapist to get to the root cause.
2007-03-07 10:51:34 · answer #4 · answered by The Big Shot 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
My daughter is the same way....You have to find something that interests you and focus on it....take up a hobby, reading, but most important, like yourself, and enjoy yourself....
2007-03-07 10:47:56 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think about your new relationship and ways to make it work better.You will be alone but full of happy thoughts.Romantic isn't it
2007-03-07 10:58:16 · answer #6 · answered by kalabalu 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋