Dowry is a curse in Indian society. Legally it is abolished but not scoally. If you answer no then please take an oath that you will not get or give dowry.
Due to dowry young adults are turning towards love marriage which is taking right of the parents to find suitable match by arranged marriage.
Love marriage has one marit if I can marry I can divorce. Where as arrange marriage has one merit marriage is bonding of 2 people ,2 families & realtives . It is difficult to break.
I have seen the disaster of love marriage by being in north America.I do not support love marriage. I am writing in an orkut group "Love vs. arrange marriage "Soulmates are found mutually but upto high school going children divorce rate is 40%. Whs soul mate real?
Time is not far when the dowry system wil be reversed because in 1970's & 80's every couple wanted 2 boys & a girl. This has created imbalance in male & female population. So parents to continue their generation will pay to the girls parent
2007-03-07 02:15:40 · 17 answers · asked by Nancy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
your concerns are appreciable..
Dowry is not right.
Love marriage is an answer to dowry..cos in love marriage there is no dowry..
Arranged marriage is more binding..even if two people can't bear each other, they are forced to be together...that's not right!
I am not totally against arranged marriage, but i am in favor of divorce.
2007-03-07 02:31:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My experiences are the same with love marraiges. I've seen a higher percentage of love marraiges ending up in break offs, whille the arranged marraige couples I know, are living happily.
I didn't accept anything in terms of dowry (niether cash, nor any commodity), when I got married. My brother didn't either. It's the same with all of my friends.
I agree that dowry is a curse, but when it's a demand. However, if the girls parents offer what they can afford, it's ok. These days, even gifts from girls parents are looked upon as dowry. Think the issue is hyped a lot. Actually dowry system is gradually vanishing. All though there are areas where people still practice this ill system, but they too are afraid of being caught. I hope within next few years, dowry would be just history.
All the best...
:-)
2007-03-07 09:41:37 · answer #2 · answered by plato's ghost 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with Sunali quite a bit. The process of eliminating dowry from the Indian culture is going to take a long long time. But we can cut it short, by educating our children about the wrongs & disadvantages of the same.
Ya love marriages have equal chance of survival as well as ending up as to an arranged marriage. Love vs. Arranged is just a way towards the wedding, I feel. More important is the Marriage not the Wedding. And ya, love - whether it is developed before or after getting married, fades away after a while. Most important thing in a relationship that makes it last is UNDERSTANDING. The will to understand your spouse. Rest all flows along with it.
2007-03-07 05:00:53 · answer #3 · answered by shally 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love marriage alone doesnt abolish dowry system in India. People should be made aware of the difficulties they will undergo due to dowry. Mutual respect between the 2 people being married will solve it. But male ego still persists in India. It should be abolished first. Males still think that they are superior. Now though the trend has changed, the wife is still expected to work at home and also outside. Isnt that also in a way the struggle of the girl?
Dowry should be abolished not by making laws but by creating understanding in people.
2007-03-12 22:04:10 · answer #4 · answered by mekhalasri 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am an Indian in north america too, mine was an arranged marriage and no dowry was involved in our marriage.
Yes there is the custom of dowry in many communities but in our community dowry and those who ask for it have been shunned since ages.........even in small villages. Its just the way it has been.
I am married outside my community, but before we fixed anything my parents had made it clear that we are strictly against dowry and my in-laws are also too nice to ask for something as disguting as dowry. In fact my husband is so rebellious when it comes to these constricting oppressive rules of the society that if anyone would have mentioned dowry to him he would have asked that person to shut up.
Actually it just depends on peope...........those who are greedy for money will never want to give up such ****.
About the comparison between love and arranged marriages and one being superior over the other...............l think it makes no sense. There are love marriages that fail but there are lot of arranged marriages which due to societal norms make the persons life worse than hell.First, its your life............you decide whom you want to marry. Parents bring us up and we respect them and take care of them when they need us. That is being cultured. But at hte same time if they truly love you and they believe that they have tought you all the good things that they believe in then there is no reason why they should they doubt your decision making ability. If they are however advising you they the person you have chosen is not good for you............then it just makes sense that you think about it. But allsaid and done there is no reason why should they decide whom you marry.
My marriage was arranged, but throught college and othrewise l had the ferrdom to chooose my partner along the way. It is just that l never met someone who l thought is the one l would want to marry and so my parents asked if l wanted them to search and l agreed.
TOday l believe that l have found the one and l am very happy with him.
Friend, life and love is not about rules and society but about following that little voice within which tells you what to do.Just remember that if you ever fall in love or if someone loves you, then dont let it just pass you..................dont let it go. You may regret it for the rest of your life.
2007-03-13 11:30:18 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The ANSWER lies not in teaching people, but in EDUCATING ur own kids the right way.
1. teach ur kids to be CONFIDENT , esp girls, thats how we were brought up. let them stand on their own feet, take their own decisions.
2. love marriage can go sour, i know at least 10 girls who R divorced, all for diff reasons.many of them had had a love marriage.
3. if the girl is to stay with inlaws, the boys FAMILY must like her, if they don't, they CONSTANTLY KEEP MAKING trouble for her, even after 20 yrs of marriage.
4.there's no such thing as love, if there is, it hardly lasts....commitment, loyalty, mutual respect, understanding...go a long, long way
2007-03-07 03:31:28 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Daughters have no share in inheritance succession of their parents in Hinduism. As such some property is given to them at marriage. This is a centuries old custom of Hinduism in India. Despite stern enactments & legislations of Indian Parliament and Legislative Assemblies, it is not eradicated and can never be eradicated unless daughters are allowed inheritance succession in parents' properties but unfortunately it may be called a copy of Islamic law who allowed daughters' such rights 14 centuries back and was being ridiculed and humiliated in India since then.
Indians recently enacted laws for Hindus allowing divorces (Hinduism has no concept of divorce and believes in wedlock eternal in future rebirths also), remarriages of widows & divorced, etc., preventing Suttee (burning widow alive on funeral pyre of deceased husband) and leading towards Islamic teachings but slowly (though condemning verbally). It may take some more time to accept daughters' inheritence rights also in succession.
Every DAY many wives become victims of this inhuman practice of dowry in India. They are harassed and subjected to physical and mental cruelty for dowry. On failure to get, they are killed brutally or burnt to ashes, to remarry with huge dowry. Usually anti dowry laws fail to get them punished .
2007-03-07 04:04:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
you want your kids to be happy? ok i knew u did! good LOVE MARRAGE ALL THE WAY, they must know that when they get married divorce shouldnt never be on the table...you get married to stay that way, also they will have to work on it, weman have just as much right as any man! they must become 1! spend time with each other, and connect! EVERY year they must know and be reminded why they married, and they should write down the good times, and put them in a memories book, or write them on paper and hand them on the wall, and they have to remember that their spouse is number one in there life!!! and TURN THAT STUPID TV off!
2007-03-09 19:52:05 · answer #8 · answered by Jonathan c 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I didn't take any dowry and would ardently wish other men would also not want to take dowry. But I'm not sure. May your wish come true. With you in your noble venture.
2007-03-07 04:09:09 · answer #9 · answered by Modest 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes.Dowry is a custom in India in many clans and families.It is stamped as a tradition.It may take many forms if not straight demand an indirect one.but it des exist.
2007-03-11 16:52:10 · answer #10 · answered by gary 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋