Is dowry a right practice ?

Question

Dowry is a curse in Indian society. Legally it is abolished but not scoally. If you answer no then please take an oath that you will not get or give dowry.
Due to dowry young adults are turning towards love marriage which is taking right of the parents to find suitable match by arranged marriage.
Love marriage has one marit if I can marry I can divorce. Where as arrange marriage has one merit marriage is bonding of 2 people ,2 families & realtives . It is difficult to break.

I have seen the disaster of love marriage by being in north America.I do not support love marriage. I am writing in an orkut group "Love vs. arrange marriage "Soulmates are found mutually but upto high school going children divorce rate is 40%. Whs soul mate real?
Time is not far when the dowry system wil be reversed because in 1970's & 80's every couple wanted 2 boys & a girl. This has created imbalance in male & female population. So parents to continue their generation will pay to the girls parent

Answer 1

ofcourse not

u r searching for u r life partner and not for a thing to be kept in showcase so that it should be costly

think about them who has to pay this

their daily house hold expences

pluse marriage expence

pluse u r so called dowry

why r girls burden

parents spent lot on upbringing, of the girl child

why r they punished with dowry

they hve always to spent an dnothing to gaine out of it

Answer 2

My experiences are the same with love marraiges. I've seen a higher percentage of love marraiges ending up in break offs, whille the arranged marraige couples I know, are living happily.

I didn't accept anything in terms of dowry (niether cash, nor any commodity), when I got married. My brother didn't either. It's the same with all of my friends.

I agree that dowry is a curse, but when it's a demand. However, if the girls parents offer what they can afford, it's ok. These days, even gifts from girls parents are looked upon as dowry. Think the issue is hyped a lot. Actually dowry system is gradually vanishing. All though there are areas where people still practice this ill system, but they too are afraid of being caught. I hope within next few years, dowry would be just history.

All the best...

:-)

Answer 3

A dowry is a gift of money or valuables given by a bride's family to the groom as part of a marriage ceremony. One of the reasons Indian families prefer boys to girls is the expense associated with with marriage and dowry. Plus, girls move away once they're married, where as boys stay and help take care of their parents. This works as an example of Infrastructural Determinism.

That is a difficult question to ask. I agree in thoery, but I think there is more to it. American culture is disposable. If some thing ceases to be fun we drop it. What makes Indian marriage work is the almost complete inability to seek divorce. People feel that this is what they are supposed to do so they make the best of their dharma, or sacred duty. However, the key to the benefits of western marriage is that you are given the choice to leave an abusive relationship.

Someone once told me you can find someone you "click" with but you choose to make them your soulmate.

Answer 4

Noep. I got married without giving dowry to a handsome guy where he makes me to feel at home . Everything depends on individual hearts ,its not cos of the society. As everyone is educated in this era they must analyse the things in their life.

Answer 5

in my opinion, dowry is like a four letter word that no one should ever utter. There is nothing right in paying for a woman like you pay for property, there is nothing right in raising children as a source of later bargainable income. Some people have told me, " but my family did not ask for much, they only wanted to perpetuate the tradition, not to be paid for me"> I ask you, why would ANYONE want to perpetuate a culture/tradition where women (or sometimes men) are sold like property. In one culture, the "elderls" of the village and the girl's extended family get together with the man's extended family to negotiate a price. What? I am a bargainable goods for sale? Why? It sends the message to the payer that I am his property. Afterall he paid for me. It's amazing things that people do in the name of culture and for the people who get the payoff, in the name of money
As for the matter of arranged marriage, not a four letter word but I do not subscribe to that either. Just because many marriages end in divorce is not evidence of the failure of love in marriage. Arranged marriages assume that the person doing the arranging knows me or my bethroited husband better than i know myself and knows what's best for me better than i do. Wrong. I can choose to have someone "fix me up" with another individual but in all cases, i am have the ultimate decision of whether this person is right or wrong for me. On the other hand you imply that there are no divorces in arranged marriages. Totally false. Maybe not as high as in "love" marriages. But more females have fled their homes like refugees and moved to strange countries to start a new life because they did not like the man chosen for them and did not have the right to say, "no i will not marry you". Plus there are numerous divorces after arranged marriages albeit lower than that in "love marriages, and the reason is not just because the marriages were arranged, there is a huge cultural factor to it. Most of these women are ostracized and labelled becuase they divorced and when women are faced with these choices, most of them decide to continue on in unbearable marriages so that they can have an acceptable social life and social standing. Lastly, I don't ever want to be with a man because he loves and is bonded to my family and relatives and because he does not want to dissappoint them. If his love for me is not enough reason for him to remain married to me, then I will go look for someone who really loves me. Unlike family, a spouse (husband/wife) is someone you can choose, why settle for anything less then love?

Answer 6

I'd say its the choice of both parties on whether they both agree to it or not.If its forced,well,thats when its a curse,as you say.Its called choice,and if it hurts no one,and is willing,I dont think there should interference from the government.

Answer 7

It is a Social Stigma. It may trigger family breaking.

Answer 8

marriage should be taken out of practice!!!

Answer 9

No because there is no love.

Answer 10

if anyone is practising it inform the police