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I have a friend that I think is being clueless (it's not me) about this guy she's been messing around with. They've been friends w/benefits for almost a year now. However, he puts fourth very little effort to spend any time with him. They talk briefly every other day but haven't seen each other in a couple of months. They live within 15 miles from each other.

He's often unavailable when she calls & calls her back, other times he calls her when he appears to only be bored & has nothing else to do. People keep saying how they see him out with another woman/or women and whenever they do try to make plans he's a no show. I tell her that if he had any real feelings for her he would make time for her, inspite of all the BS he tells her over the phone. She hangs on to the fact that he still calls her & returns her calls. I told her maybe he just likes you as a friend. What is some advice I should give to her other than he's a jerk?

2007-03-07 02:00:53 · 4 answers · asked by geminig 1 in Family & Relationships Friends

4 answers

Try to tell your friend that she should expect more from someone in her life. It seems that she is fine with it the way it is, but she has to lacking self esteem and self respect to put up with this. Talk to her about the fact that she deserves more from a relationship than being used as an "on call" friend w/benefits. Talk to her about her self esteem and that she is teaching this guy that it's ok to treat her this way. If she stopped putting up with it, either she would see the real him for what he is or he would have to step up and put more into the relationship. You are a good friend....tell her that you care too much to sit by and watch her be used.

2007-03-07 02:08:47 · answer #1 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 0 0

If your friend has their mind set on something, it is almost impossible to change it. The more people put this guy down, the more she may hold on just to prove that he does good things. I would just tell her that she is an amazing girl and she deserves the absolute best guy there is. Tell her that she deserves someone who cannot wait to talk to her and wants to see her and actually puts effort into it. You need to support her no matter what because she will come around to see what everyone else sees but just keep reminding her that she deserves the best there is. Maybe you should even try to set her up with someone..not like a "date" but maybe just hang out with a new guy who would be good for her in order to demonstrate the way she should be treated.

2007-03-07 10:07:34 · answer #2 · answered by peaches2803 2 · 0 0

Hi. Being an older woman, I would recommend to you that she will find out for herself that he is just playing the field. You're obviously a good friend, but she will have to see for herself. Besides, she may need someone like you for support when she does discover this.

2007-03-07 10:11:30 · answer #3 · answered by joyp4u2 1 · 0 0

yeah

2007-03-07 10:10:16 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

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