My nine year old daughter is constantly saying she is sick. The doctor says it is for attention. Any ideas?

Answer 1

If it happens when its time to go to school (in the morning/ evening) and when she does stay home and seems fine, I'm guessing she's being picked on.
My son constantly complained of being sick and wanting to stay home. I thought he was being bullied but he kept denying it. I took him to the doctors and they couldn't find anything wrong. He was prescribed medication for his stomach and after a lot of prodding he finally told us the problem. A boy in his grade was constantly bugging him,tripping him and hurting him (emotionally and physically). We told him to start standing up for himself and only return the abuse after a warning to the abuser then telling a teacher and then following through if nothing works. He was and still is, a very caring boy but by standing up to the bully once, it stopped and has never happened since.
Talk to your daughter and see if this is a problem. They are usually afraid to talk about it and it may take a lot of prodding and pleading. They usually think it's something they have done to deserve this and that there's nothing they can do. Good luck.

Answer 2

Could be anxiety over school or activities or just for attention.

Sit down with her and talk about what "being sick" really means. Explain about fever and viruses and bugs. Tell her what YOUR definition of being sick is (i.e. no vomiting, no fever, no red throat or runny nose - you are NOT sick). Also cover and what her behavior has to be if she is "sick" (i.e. stay in bed, no TV, no books, no dolls) without those symptoms. She will soon be so bored she will forget about sick being a good idea.

If this is sudden or recent, and only on weekdays, talk to her teacher. There may be something happening at school that she is anxious about.

Also examine your own family life - does it happen after family squabbles, etc?

I think if you set expecations and the rules you will find she is sick a lot less. But also look for an underlying cause.

Answer 3

Is it because only during school? When I was younger I hated school and would go to the nurse everyday to go home. Eventually my mom told the nurse that I was not allowed to go home unless I was vomiting and/or had a fever. It broke me of it really fast.

If it is while being at home, try to set aside an hour each night just to be with your daughter and do something together (it could be making dinner or cookies, reading, doing a craft or playing outside). Also try and set aside one day of each weekend as a parent-child day, which is devoted specifially to you and your daughter (and other children if you have any). Sometimes when children want attention it is because they feel as though they are not getting any. Make it very obvious that the time is for the two of you and see if it works.

As well, kids are smart. I am going to have to assume that you HAVE been giving her attention when she claims to be sick. Stop it immediately. Unless she truly is sick (fever, vomiting, etc), make sure that you ignore her a bit. It is hard to do and sounds mean, but if you give her the attention and baby her then, she will only continue to pretend to be sick.

Answer 4

I would agree with most of the suggestions of here but if she still says she doesn't feel well after being involved in activities perhaps you should get a second opinion. I've had migraines since I was in 1st/2nd grade but my mother always assumed I was just complaining a lot about simple headaches. It took me throwing up and seeing things during an extra curricular activity and having the group nurse question her about it for her to finally take me to the neurologist. I got on meds and the migraines are no where as frequent or as severe. If she had actually believe I had a bad headache every time I said something other than just pawning it off as "attention seeking" I would have had a much easier childhood.

Answer 5

You don't say what, if any, symptoms she has. For instance, if she's complaining of a runny nose and things like that. If that's the case she may have allergies. My son will get very ill because of his allergies, but then again, he doesn't ever complain.

If it's her stomach she may have a nervous stomach. Like she gets nervous and her stomach hurts.

I would be a bit worried if the child seems ill often. It may be more than just for attention. I would like to suggest that you take her to another doctor for a second opinoin before brushing it aside. She may be ill.

Then again if she's actually doing it for attention and you know for sure that's the case then see why she thinks she's not getting enough attention. Do you do things with her? Does she have siblings? I think we need more info before we really could be of any help.

Answer 6

I used to be a nanny & had one of my charges constantly say that as well.

We finally figured it out by asking him one day (in a fight I may add) what his definition of sick was--at the time he was 8.

Apparently, anytime he was bored, restless, mild headache, hungry or just plain annoyed with something--he would say he was sick.

The kids' doctor replayed this as a possible layover from a few things, most of which being what does sick mean? And he understood it to be "when your not feeling yourself".

It was a good lesson for us--although hopefully nothing is seriously wrong with your little girl.

Answer 7

Try spending quality time with her. Try keeping her attention with things that she likes to do. Also sit with her while she does her homework. Does she have any siblings? Is there a new baby in the house? These are things that sometimes make a child crave more attention. You might give her a lot of attention already, then what you should do is try talking to her to see if something else is really bothering her.

Answer 8

Yep, look at it like this... if she is really sick -it is a problem. If she is doing it to get attention-that needs to be addressed as well.
second of all, research her symptoms and get more opinions. Has the doctor done a mono screen and a CBC? Has he checked her urine and blood glucose levels? Does she have a UTI? Is she eating right and drinking enought water? How is her protine and iron intake, is she taking vitamins? If she is having headaches and stuff like that get her eyes checked and have her tested for allergies.
Third of all if she checks out ok-great! And if she is doing it to get attention she will get the attention she needs for whatever reason and you will have peace of mind that you took her seriously and cared for her as you should.
My daughter complained had mild symptoms for about a year, stomach ache head ache stuff like that. We persisted and persisted and took her seriously still we could not find anything. One day she came home doubled over and could not walk. They thought she had ruptured her appendix. They took it out and it was inflamed but not bad enought to be causing that intensity of pain. More and more tests. Finally we did an upper and lower GI. The lining of her intire digestive track was inflamed and totally raw, she had been in pain for more than a year from it. For some strange reason her body was producing too many histamines like she was alergic to something but she did not test positive for alergies. She was prescribe Zertec and Zanttac for about 6 months and she has been fine for the most part.
Lastly, when I was a kid I had lots of "health" symptoms too. My mom was a nurse so she just diagnosed me herself and basically blew me off and called me a hypochondriach and said I was just doing it for attention.........Perhaps I was...
My brother sexually molested me almost everynight for about 10 years. That will make anyone sick. Take your daughter seroiously and **** that doctor!
Talk to her school councilor and find out more. Is she happy? How are her grades? Do you ever get a head ache or the shits when something is stressing you aout? Well it is no different for kids. Get a second opinion and take care of yourself and your daughter.
Good Luck!!
JD

Answer 9

Actually she may feel under the weather, this age hormones are flowing deep, she may have PMS symptoms.
She really may feel sick. The doctor does not know her body.
Get her some pamprin and see if it helps.
They tend to feel more sick in the winter months than in summer or during school months.
I say take her seriously and make her take meds for
her sympoms or get her some vitamins.

Answer 10

She's probably just trying to miss school or avoid something.. I know when I was on a baseball team, I'd feel sick each time I'd think about it, and I'd want to avoid going so I would talk myself into being sick, and finally I quit because it scared me so much. It wasn't something I was doing consciously.. It could be she's trying to avoid a problem or an uncomfortable situation. Ask her about it, don't push her if she doesn't want to tell you, but if you're close to her it'll probably come spilling out of her.

Good-luck !
Karina