we have been married for 4 years and we have had few problems latley about me beeing bie i now i should of told him but but i was scared he would not want to know me i have told him i will not do out as i love him so much but he very un easy and is always watching me wen on phone or computer
2007-03-07 01:26:42 · 26 answers · asked by sarah-lou 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you are married you have made a commitment that you are with this man and he should trust that you have married him and love him. He should realise that you won't have feelings for another man or another woman so being bi has nothing to do with it. He should trust you and you should not have to prove that you love him. You married him and made a choice. Maybe you should have told him about being bi, but he should trust you. Tell him you love him and that he has nothing to worry about.
2007-03-07 06:30:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You lied to him on a pretty colossal level and you did it for very selfish reasons. Honestly, would you trust you?
Own your crap. Look him in the eye and say "I lied to you and I did it for selfish reasons. I am sorry and I am willing to accept responsibility for my actions. What can I do to EARN your forgiveness?"
Don't infer it, don't assume it, whine about it, moan or even cry about it. Be a responsible adult and look him in the eye and say it. Then, WHATEVER he says, say "I understand, thank you for hearing me out."
Now having said that, and as much as I believe in marriage, I would probably tell you to get out and go to hell. He had a right to know who he was marrying. A marriage based on a lie is no stronger than a house built on a foundation of sand.
Somethings can't be fixed. If you can't be honest with him then the next best thing you could do is respect him.
2007-03-07 09:46:05 · answer #2 · answered by David P 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know what "bie" means, but the only way you can have a healthy relationship is by being truly honest with each other. No secrets. You have to earn his trust again.
Sit down with him, tell him why you didn't open up to begin with, then tell him to ask you any question he desires, and answer them truthfully.
2007-03-07 09:35:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU CAN'T!!! You don't keep secrets like that from a man or even marry him without being totally up front. Love and marriage is not just based on saying "I love you" but on honesty, trust, and communication. Your marriage is now over, by watching every thing you say and do says that he does not trust you and if I was him--------I'd be out of there so fast and filing for divorce for miss leading me. You get what every you desire and just gave us good women another black mark!!!
2007-03-07 09:38:08 · answer #4 · answered by judy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to your husband and explain that u told him because u want an honest relationship with no secrets but that u truly love him with all your heart and just because he knows nothing has changed. my question is do u have a communication prob with him? why did it take u this long to tell him something so important? it would seem that would be something that should be told before u were married. that could be why is so untrusting now. good luck.
2007-03-07 09:37:29 · answer #5 · answered by a very happily married woman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should admit to your husband that you were very very wrong not to tell him you were bisexual and reassure him that you love him and want to stay married to him as your commitment is as strong as ever. However, you should ask him if he trusts you because you cannot keep telling him every time you are on the phone, computer etc. If he does not trust you or is unsure, then you must talk about that straightaway
2007-03-07 09:40:36 · answer #6 · answered by pete the panda 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First you should have come clean with him about your sexuality when you married him, but you shouldn't have to prove to anyone that you love them-he should already know where your heart is. And as long as you love him and he loves you, the computer and phone should not bother him unless you're on them doing something you shouldn't be.
2007-03-07 09:40:49 · answer #7 · answered by rosebud06 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not easy to get someones trust back after you break it. You broke it BIG time. Maybe time will help but you need to be completely dedicated to this man and you have to show it every single day and pray he forgives you. If you can't do that you need to leave and let him find a trustworthy woman...
2007-03-07 09:34:01 · answer #8 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
as long as you haven't cheated on him I can't see what the problem is. We all have things in our past that our partner isn't going to like-that doesn't mean that we don't love them. just tell him that you're sorry if he feels so hurt and that you didn't mean to do it. but you can't go through the rest of the marriage trying to make it up to him. Maybe go on a mini break together so that you can spend time together and no mentioning the past!!!
2007-03-07 09:38:42 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only thing you can do is keep talking to your husband and show him that you love him. He may be scared that you will be more attracted to other woman than to him. You should tell him that your love for him outweighs your desire to be bi. Have open and honest communication with him. Ask him what he is feeling and, I know it will be hard, get him to open up to you and tell you his true feelings. For me communication is always key.
2007-03-07 10:18:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋