Divorce Situation?

Question

I am recently married to a Fort Campbell soldier and am trying to find out how I go about getting a divorce. This is both of our first marriage, no children and no major assets to split. We were married in Ny and now live in TN so will we have to divorce in NY or can we do it here? I am trying to see what the courts see as Desertion, Abandonment, adultery and irreconcilable differences. Is him leaving me to go to Iraq and getting up and moving out of our house when he was home considered deserting or abandoning me? Is him talking to mutiple woman online considering adultery or only if he has sex with them do they see that as that? Is cruel and inhuman treatment fall under him putting his hands on me and the police had to get involved or trying to burn down the house. Impotence is not being able to get it up so then can it also be considered not being able to keep it up? How much can a divorce cost up to if it is uncontested (we both agree). Do you know any good divorce lawyers in TN?

I learned the Army doesnt do free Divorces anymore so that is not an option. What things do I need to start getting together to be ready or proof should I get. When will the court order alimony and how long am I looking at for this divorce to go through?

first if all private...maybe you should know more about the situation before you assume. I wrote that we recently got married but tried to edit after and couldnt figure out but you got it all wrong. That boy and me have been married for almost 3 years now and everything has fell apart. I moved to TN for one reason and one only...TO BE WITH HIM. He left all the time to go out with his friends and left me here alone when I didnt know anyone when I hate it here. He was a drunk and I found out sniffing coke. Went to jail multiple times before he even left for Iraq. I was being a woman and waited till he got home to tell him that we werent going to work out. I could have easily cleaned out his account and the house and left but instead I stayed and supported him as much as possible. How dare to presume to think you know what u are talking about-you have not the slightest clue of what that wannabe soldier has put me through. nothing you had to say answered my question so dont bother respondi

oh and to set the record straight to all... we have tried counseling and he had been back from Iraq since November...thats why I am filing for a divorce now

Answer 1

I'm very close to you, and I do have experience with this. Yes, it's expensive to get divorced if you don't both agree on the why's and what's. However, TN is a no-fault state, which means you can file for divorce for adultry if you want, but it won't do you any good. I would suggest, if you want out quick and cheap, an uncontested divorce. My ex and I went through Hansrote, 553-0100, and it was $475. I had everything written up that we agreed upon, took it to them, they typed it in legal form, filed, and after 90 days your divorce will be sorta final. However, you have another 30 days from the final filing date to change your mind.

Yes, confusing, but I do wish you luck.

Answer 2

I have been divorced twice. This is something I am not proud of.Maybe I can help. First you need a lawyer. If you are new to the area just get the phone book out and make a couple of appointments Most first time appointments are free consultation. If he moved out (not going to Iraq) that is abandonment. Adultery is actual having sex with someone. Talking or on the computer to other women is not. Putting his hand on you is domestic violence.Even if he caused you to be afraid that he would harm you is domestic violence. As far as the impotence I am not sure. Don't expect any alimony because you have not been married a long time. I was married sixteen years and because I had a career I did not get a penny. Even though my ex income was twice what mine was. So don't get you hopes up to much. Good luck to you.

Answer 3

You file for divorce in the state where you are a resident, not the state where you married, unless, of course, that’s the state where you currently reside.

Why do you feel the need for a ‘fault’ divorce? If it’s uncontested and you have no children or major assets, why not do a no-fault? It’s much simpler and less expensive.

And why do you assume you’ll get alimony? Alimony is generally reserved for women who have been in long-term marriages and are unable to sufficiently support themselves because they have been out of the workforce for an extended length of time due to being a homemaker. You're only 'recently married' and you have no kids, so you could have worked (or attended school). Don’t count on alimony. I'd say chances are VERY SLIM that you'll be awarded it.

Answer 4

Alimony usually depends on how long you've been married, and whether you were employed while you were married. (It's to support women who have been out of the workplace, causing them to lose marketable skills.)

Desertion and abandonment usually are hard to prove, especially since you don't have children. Iraq will definitely NOT be considered abandonment, since he was enlisted when you married him. Talking to women online isn't adultery in the technical sense, but if there is anything indicating he's had sex with any of them, you might be able to make a case.

"Cruel and inhuman treatment" isn't a legal term, but if he placed his hands on you in a manner that was intended to be restrictive or intimidating you can consider an abuse charge.

All of it will cost a decent amount of money, especially if you intend to press charges as opposed to just getting divorced. Those are two different proceedings. If you're not planning on pressing charges, and were thinking of listing abandonment, etc. as a reason, just use "irreconcilable differences".

Being able to "keep it up" usually has nothing to do with divorce unless it's caused by something he can control, like alcoholism or drug use.

Good luck to you!

Answer 5

TN should have jurisdiction over your case now. So you file there. Check with the court to see whether it's a "no contest" state. If it is, that means you don't need any reason other than 'irreconsilable differences' to get a divorce. Adultery would not apply unless he had intercourse with a woman other than you during your marriage. And again, the abandonment issue, unless the state recognizes it, it doesn't apply. most states these days are "no contest". As for alimony, to consider that, it would depend on how long you've been married, whether you work and how long you've worked. The placement of alimony is so you can continue living in a lifestyle similar to what you are used to as his wife. But to receive it, you have to basically be destitute financially if you were to divorce. Such as, you have been married and dependant on him financially for several years, do not have a work history to fall back on, don't have education past high school that can assist you in getting a job etc. etc. etc.

Answer 6

Lil susie - this sounds like a bad situation - but you are all over the place trying to find a reason to divorce this guy. Have you tried counseling?

I would think you are doing the first step - unfortunately I don't live in TN, am not marrried and don't know anything about divorce - it didn't stop me from reading your question, though :) - hopefully someone who knows a lawyer in TN can help you out.

Good luck - it sounds like a real mess.

Answer 7

If it is uncontested and you both want a divorce look up any divorce lawyer in the phone book, pay your money and it's done. No you don't have to be in NY. Do not fill the lawyer in on all the details you have mentioned here not worth it, and you will gain nothing from it. Irreconcilable differences period.

Answer 8

Men OR women putting hands on the other is something that does not sit well with me, and that is the ONLY thing that I will give you a pass on.

As for ALL of the others, YOU should of NEVER married this man. You are a cruel woman and he has enough on his plate to deal with, without his wife making an *** out of herself.

This is EXACTLY why I am AGAINST anyone who is going to be (or stands a very good chance of) being deployed getting married before they leave.

Answer 9

You can do your divorce in TN and you should be able to do it yourself it would be a simplified divorce. Go to your local courthouse and a legal aide person can tell you what papers you need to fill out. In most states you don't have to prove anything you just have to live in separate locations for a while usually 6-12months and once you get everything filled it only takes a few months. The jag office should be able to tell you what papers you need. They don't file or fill them out but they should lead you in the right direction. BEST WISHES.

Answer 10

The Soldiers and Sailors Act protects military personnel from being taken advantage of while they are on active duty and deployed. I do not think you can do anything until he returns from Iraq and no you can not get him for abandonment for doing his job this is why the Soldiers and Sailors Act was put into law for the lousy way that people treat their military spouses while they are deployed and have their mind on other things.... Let the man do his job then when he gets home he can tell his side of the story...