We've been together less than 3 weeks. We're both very sexual people but I get nervous with new people because I suffered abuse as a child so intiially things were difficult. Initially sex would be completely about pleasing her, which she ended up getting frustrated with. Whenever she tried to please me it wouldn't work. This relationship is the first lesbian one either of us have had since we were very young so maybe she's worried about performance. Things are better on my part but now she won't let me touch her, even when she's in the mood. It's now all about me! Very confusing. I'm worried that she's become bored of me already or was thrown off by how badly the beginning of our relationship went.
2007-03-07 00:12:54 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
firstly, you've only been together for less than three weeks...you shouldn't be so worried about it.
i was in a relationship for two and a half years with a girl who had been molested as a child and hardly let me touch her...it was really hard for me, even though i understood. you're girlfriend probably feels badly that it's been ALL about her, and although she probably understands, it's extremely frustrating trying to please a person who has sexual difficulties because of being molested.
if she is a giving person, which sounds like she is, i am not the least bit suprised that she is denying you touching her. she probably feels selfish and wants her turn at making you feel good. she probably feels like she needs to make something up to you. in fact, i am almost positive that's what it is.
i have been exactly in her position. give it some time...get on more even ground, sexually, with her...and you guys will be ok. just remind her that it's not her that had given you the problems at the beginning of the relationship and you'd like to feel more 50/50 now...
good luck, it's not an easy situation!
2007-03-07 01:16:54 · answer #1 · answered by Taken by a Texan 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm. You say your girlfriend won't let you touch her but it sounds like you are still intimate. It sounds to me like she wants to help you work through the apprehension that you have with being the recipient of pleasure due to your early childhood abuse. You both need to realize that if you want your sex life to be fulfilling and satisfying for both of you than you have to have more give and take. It can't be all about just one of you. As much pleasure as you might get from being the one doing the pleasing and making it all about her some of the time she will want to see to it that you are satisfied. You need to let that happen or you are denying her what she wants. My suggestion is that you each take turns having it be all about you for awhile and then try making it all about both of you. Good Luck!
2007-03-07 01:13:22 · answer #2 · answered by J J 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your girlfriend may be having second thoughts about a lesbian relationship. Talk about your feeling with her.
2007-03-07 00:24:28 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's frustrating for a person to be pleased and not be able to satisfy the pleaser. Well, some people. I don't like it!
2007-03-07 00:20:43 · answer #4 · answered by canguroargentino 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have the same problem as she does...She's thinking too much about how to please you rather than just laying back and letting things happen. Try to help her relax before you get into it. Help here calm her mind.
2007-03-07 00:41:48 · answer #5 · answered by aurorase 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk it out and if that doesnt work end the relation
2007-03-07 00:22:58 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maby she is tired of U(IM me to chat more)
2007-03-07 00:26:29 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
TIME FOR A NEW GIRLFRIEND
2007-03-07 08:54:34 · answer #8 · answered by sonya h 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you dont click together.
end it.
if she wont accept you, dont accept her.
2007-03-07 00:40:13 · answer #9 · answered by Trid 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm...if she doesn't please you...then you should end the relationship.
2007-03-07 00:19:27 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋