How do I boot my "husband"?

Question

I want my common law husband out of my life, well at least my everyday life. We have two young children, and I made a serious mistake by letting him moving in with me 3 years ago just because I was pregnant. I really didn't want to be with him and now I seriously regret it! He's not the kind of person I want to be with. He's just too childish. I'm trying to better my children's lives and he just holds us down. The problem is that I have told him several times to leave but I always back down. I want him to understand that we can be friends and work together for the kids' sake, but I am just not happy with him. FYI, I am so unhappy because 1.) he doesn't work 1/2 the time, 2.) he smokes, 3.) he cusses in front of my kids, 4.) he calls me names and yells at me all the time, & 5.) he has a serious temper problem.

Answer 1

I would write him a letter telling him how you feel and if he scoffs at it- too bad. You dont desearve to be treated like that- you desearve so much better. And if he refused to move out, know that you can file a resraining order. Name calling is verbal abuse and if his bad temper makes you fear for your safety- there will be no question as to whether they will grant it to you or not. But that is only for the exstreme

Hope this is help

Answer 2

If I was in your shoes I would sit down with him and lay all your cards out on the table. Don't back down, and make yourself the number 2 priority in the situation. Tell him he has to go for the sake of the children. (kids alone should give you the strength to do it). Tell him you still want him to be part of their lives but only if he cleans up his act. If he doesn't heed let him know your serious and pick up the phone to your local police department. They will if necessary remove him from your home. Last resort get out of the situation if his temper is really bad and seek a womens shelter to put you and your kids on the right track clear from him. It doesn't has to be physical abuse for a police officer or shelter to help you. Mental and emotional abuse are real and relevant as well. Good luck with your situation. Also seek help from your church as well, they are very supportive and can help put you back on top.

Answer 3

If You are paying all the bills and doing most of the work around the house. He has no right to stay there. He is not a contributing member. So as long as you can stick to your guns you should be able to kick him out at any point.
You just have to put your kids first and yourown happiness first. Realize you home will be a happier place without him. Realize your kids will be come stronger more well adjusted people without him. That should give you the strength you need to kick him out.

Answer 4

You know how to shorten a line without even touching that line? for that you have to put a bigger line beside that line so that line looks small enough. Your partner has got the feeling that you can not get rid of him, so he is enjoying. Get someone big close to you and feel big, he will have to leave and will not have the choice. that big can also be your girl friend or ex class mate, any one. But be careful for the selection of this Mr. Big, otherwise you can also go in more big trouble.

Answer 5

I agree with you, he needs booted. Tell him you want something different, but no one but you can make you stick to your guns. If it were me, I would tell him that you need to see him take on more responsibility outside your home. That he needs to become self-sufficient on his own and then you can consider getting back together.

These types of men find change very difficult because someone is always bailing them out. Your right, he needs to grow up and even though you don't want to be his mother, that is exactly what you have become. Your children will even suffer, it is their turn to be the kid, he had his chance.

Maybe he will seek counsel, but don't be surprised if he doesn't.

Answer 6

Well, the bad news. It will not get better. Once a person starts with any kind of abuse, verbal, physical, psychological...it just gets easier. You HAVE to get him to leave before the time comes when you are so in his power you are helpless to evict him. Believe me it happens in abusive relationships. You get afraid for the children as well as yourself. Do it NOW! Good luck!

Answer 7

check eviction laws in your state.

In TX you could give him a letter giving him 3 days notice to move if there is no lease or written rental agreement.

If he'd abusive, you can call the cops, have him hauled off and get a restraining order. He'd be gone and subject to jail for returning. (works in just about any state)

There should be a local legal aid group you can ask how to take care of your specific situation.

Answer 8

so how about u just ask him nicely to leave and do not back up? if he doesn't leave u always can inform the police if he doesn't live there legally. but if he does u will need to move out with your kids yourself. too bad, next time u think twice before u let somebody in

Answer 9

leave him for your kids sake. if you have a girl she will grow up to think its ok for a man to talk to her the way her daddy talked to her mommy or if you have a boy he will grow up thinking its ok for him to do that to a women. hearing this kinda of abuse in the home lowers there self esteem and they will put up with things from people in there personal lives when they get older. think of the long term effects this will have on your children.

Answer 10

hun if u dont love him theres nothing that should hold u bck...even ur kids(for what i can understand ur kids young ) so do something about it now wether u want to b with him 4ever or break up now for good and ur kids will not really get hurt later on.