Abortion??

Question

I have just found out yesterday that I am 5 weeks pregnant I am 17 and have no income but am going back to college in September my partner is desperate for me to get an abortion but I am in total denial about being pregnant he says if I keep the child he will never see me again but If I keep it that he will stay with me and have children with me later on as he is studying for his A levels and says it willl ruin his whole entire life. Is there any ways around this problem or should I abort it now ????????

I also dont know whether I could face being a single parent although I know my friends would be there to support me?

Answer 1

You are likely to recieve a lot of upsetting comments to this question.

It is important to remember that most people who will advise you will have an agenda - make sure you understand that some people will try and persuade you one way or the other.

The BBC has an excellent article on unplanned pregnancy, I recommend reading it through - it talks about the various options so you can make the right descision for you. Have a read here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/health/womens_health/reproductive_unplanned.shtml

Best wishes xx

Answer 2

Your probably feeling really confused at the moment, I had a similar problem refering to my 'then' partner... he didnt want a child and i was 8 weeks pregnant...although i am 21, he said that he'd stay if i aborted, but would never bother with the baby or me if i kept it. Well i'm now nearly 7 months pregnant and looking forward to it, Its horrible to know that the baby won't have his biological father there, but blood doesnt always bind! Im in a happy relationship with someone else. But this doesnt mean everything works out for the best, You need to assess your situations, your still young and you can't go to college in september, unless you go next year and have help childminding.

My choice was to keep the baby but it all falls on your own circumstances, even though you aren't that much younger than me, a couple years - Ive had a very good social life...you won't like staying home while your other 17 year old friends go out, I have a few friends who had babies at your age.

Sit down and think about it. but dont take to long deciding, its harder

Answer 3

You know I was going to leave this question alone because this can lead to some heated discussion, but here it goes.

The choice is yours, but some will try to convince you that you are carrying a fetus not a child. That's pretty much crap at this point. It has been scientifically proven with advancing technology that a baby's heart beat can be seen as early as 8 days after implantation with 3-D imaging. Granted the heart appears as 2 chambers, not 4 and the heart rate is over 200, but it is there.

As for the choice to make, that one is up to YOU. I would suggests involving those you care about and respect there opinion. Believe in those you know to help you find your own answer. Don't put much faith in those that you don't know.

I will tell you, I have been where you are. I had my son at 18 and wouldn't dare tell you it was easy. I will tell you that for me, it was the right decision to have him. Not a day goes by that I don't enjoy his love. Despite what you feel for anyone, you will never know unconditional love until you do have a child.

As for your boyfriend, I am concerned. Not that he is scared and unsure...those are normal responses, but he should be you rock, your unwavering support, not someone delivering ultimatums. I would take a hard look at you relationship. For anybody to say "If you do this, I'll leave, but if you do this I'll stay" is a selfish person and you deserve more.

Good luck!

Answer 4

ultimately this is your decision and it depends on whether you want the baby or not. I am alot older then you but was given the same ultimatium pretty much but as I had already made my mind up I kept my baby, the father didn't contact me for a month then started to phone anytime after midnight usually when drunk, i never found out what he wanted as I wouldn't speak to him at that time of night or when he was drunk this carried on untill I was 4 months pregnant and have never heard from him since. For me things have worked out really well so far.
To be honest it really is your decision either way it is a decision that will stay with you for the rest of your life whether you keep the baby or not.
Also not to put a downer on things you have to remember the baby will ultimately be your responsilbility as much as people offer to help once the novelty of a new baby wares off you are pretty much on your own, I know this isnt the case in all cases but your friends lives will take different paths and they will move on.
But on the other hand there is nothing more special then your own child and I honestly wouldn't trade my life now for the life I had before my daughter.
I know this doesn't help much but you need to think it through properly and not be forced into doing anything your not sure about and look at it from all angles.

Answer 5

It is your decision alone. Don't let anyone tell you what is right or wrong. Use all of the help out there to make your decision. You do have a little time to make a choice that is right for you so don't feel pressured into making a decision that you may regret later. As far as you partner is concerned, he has a right to be involved with the decision but he does not have the right to bully you into doing what he wants. The decision is ultimately yours. Just remember that whatever your decision is, at whatever stage, there are always options. Children rarely ruin lives. It is the attitudes of the people that surround them that cause heartache.

If you get any responses slamming abortion then please do not take them to heart. Everyone is entitled to an opinion, even if they are misguided! ;-)

Chin up and remember that you are number 1!

Answer 6

I have done both. I had an abortion when I was 24 because I wasnt in a stable situation. I still believe that was the right decision for me at the time but its not an easy thing to do.

I was in a great relationship after that and had a baby but the relationship slowly turned sour and I left, and am now a single parent.

What I would say is that, when you have to be, you can be as strong as anyone and you can cope with anything. So if you decide to have the baby you will cope. It will be hard but you will do it for the love of your child.

Dont be frightened to decide to have an abortion. It is tough to make that decision and you will be upset. But then you can start a fresh (with someone new as he sounds like a fool) and learn from your mistake. Please seek advice from someone you trust.

I hope everything goes well. x x

Answer 7

This is huge. Only you know what is best for you in regards to the pregnancy. You are early enough so you do have time to think and make an informed decision. Raising a child by yourself is hard work, but with a strong support system it makes it easier. You are so young try to see what your goals are in life for yourself and if they would be obtainable with a child. It is a hard situation but people make both choices all the time depending on their own situation. Go to you local PlannedParenthood where you will have someone to talk to and learn about all your options. Actually I have two friends who found themseves where you are and they decided to take the abortion pill and just tell everyone that they miscarried. That way they saved face with their family who wouldn't see abortion as an option.
What really stinks that the father of the child has threatened to not be there. I say kick him to the curb regardless of your decision. Why would he only be with you if things go his way. Why does he feel like he has to blackmail and threaten you instead of talk over the options. He sounds to me to be self-centered and selfish. Perhaps he should not act like an adult in the sex catagory if he can not act like one now when it really matters. What kind of love it that that he is showing to you.
Ultamitly the decision is yours and you need to do what is best for you. My friends did what they thought was right and they are now both married (one to a different person) with a few kids each. They are successful and financially stable and enjoying life with their children instead of struggeling. Good luck to you andremember next time to act more carefully and get to know who you are with before taking it to the next step.

Answer 8

I think this is for you to decide if your partner isn't willing to be supportive. If you don't think you will be able to handle being a mother, Have you considered adoption. It's a solution for both you and your unborn baby. In adoption, the baby will be placed in a good happy loving family and will be able to have a chance at life. You can either choose open adoption or closed adoption. Open adoption is where your still able to make contact with the baby, but closed adoption is where all strings are cut and you won't be apart of the baby's life. I think when a person chooses adoption over top of a abortion, that the mother is considered a hero for saving a life. You can contact a adoption agency for more information and on how to go about adoption. I hope that everything works out for you.

Answer 9

I too became pregnant at 17. I was a junior in high school. My entire family, as well as the baby's father, wanted me to have an abortion or give the child up for adoption. My school tried to kick me out, saying I was a bad example for other students. It was a struggle, but I chose to keep my baby and graduated with my class. This was ten years ago, when resources wern't as good as they are now. I did not pursue a degree, but I did go on to find a job where I can support myself and my daughter in a very comfortable lifestyle. Now there are options for financial aid as well as daycare for your child so you can finish your degree. There were definitely stuggles along the way, but it was worth it. I could not imagine life without my daughter, especially now that I have had another child. My second daughter is 8 months old. It is definitely possible to find someone who will accept you and your daughter when you are ready, if you do not stay with the babys father. I will keep you in my prayers.

Answer 10

I had an abortion at 18 i'm still with my bf now we were not ready for a child im 20 this year and im still not ready for a child just think about it first ok people might think ur bf is being selfish but he wants a career so he can look after a family...i no people will be against this but i'm glad i had my abortion i couldn't give a child a good childhood with no money or house ur too young u have to live ur life first!!! what ever u decided good luck x x

Answer 11

It is completely your decision, and only you can make that choice. Things might be tough if you kept the child, but there would be support for you. And if your boyfriend is so quick to run away from this "problem", can you see yourself wanting to be with him in the long term anyway?
If you do have an abortion, are you likely to want to stay to stay with someone who forced you into it, will you not just end up resenting him?
And if you do have kids with him in the future, won't you still be thinking about the other child you didn't keep?
It is a really tough decision, and I do not envy you one bit.
You should maybe get some impartial advice or counselling to help you make up your mind, or at least give you some clearer facts. Good Luck.