Even after more than one year i still cannot forget my wife. She left me n my five kids without saying a word, now we know that she's happy where she is, the problem is that she creates lies about why she left me, the reason being me and my children abuse and gave her mental torture, but actually we found out that she been having affair with other man and been doing her own business without us knowing through a third party since 1995 and all this her parents knows and just keep in silence.I just want to forget her, but sometime what she did to us just cannot erase her of our mind. Now the children too has lost interest in her and she make no effort to contact them even though she know where we are, she lie that i prevent her from contacting the children, and that i heard from third party.Our marriage for the last 20 years been only lies after lies from her, and i have always forgiven her for the sake of family unity.Pls help me how to forget her.
2007-03-06 21:47:56 · 5 answers · asked by naktahu 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Remember she has to wake up every morning and look at herself in the mirror, no matter how far she runs or how many lies she tells she is still with herself. The guilt of destroying a family, most women dont know how to cope so they lie to make themselves sleep at night. Remember you did your best, your kids love you and some where out there you will find a woman that will love you and your children. Until then maybe find counceling to help rid yourself of the feelings that you have, be it anger or love. You can't live in the past only in the present and you want to make every tomorrow better than yesterday. Best of luck!!!
and when you get upset, remember this was her choice and if she is still spreading lies then she is more miserable than you could imagine.
2007-03-07 00:45:39 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not sure that you can forget her completely, you have 5 children from her. You need to detach yourself from her and not participate with her negativity. First & foremost, you need to tend to the childrens needs. Although they might act fine about being completely abandoned by their mother, it affects them. Keep an open communication with them, giving them answers stemmed from your love. Don't engage in negative rumors with others. If someone approaches and says blah blah blah, answer with the truth of the matters, just don't trash her like she does you. If you have not done so....file for divorce, full custody, and get actual court orders on what expectations of visitation, support from her, etc... Document every phone call that the kids attempt, or receive from her, visitations if any, just about everything that regards her..write it down. If you focus on getting the legal mumbo taken care of, and really focus on the positive upbringing of your children, her affects on you will become minimal. That's not to say that you won't have days you are completely obsessed with emotional crap...those days will just become less and less. When you feel that you are getting into that kind of thought process, change your angle to a more positive thing, and throw yourself back into being a great parent. Watch for the needs of the children to see if they show signs of needing counseling, which might be a good idea for all of you regardless. Be the best Father that you can possibly be, the rest will follow!
2007-03-07 07:25:58 · answer #2 · answered by MrsJ S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a mother of only one child, I can't imagine myself leaving her behind for anybody. Even my ex/hus. or my family member. I don't understand how could your ex/wife done that to those children? I heard stories about husband left the kids behind all the time, but hardly the mother. I hope her day goes by not as smooth as it seems to be. And someday it might happen samething to her as she did to you. If someone I love ever do this to me, I don't think I'll be able to forgive him or give him a second chance, period. As for you, who care about what other people think about you. She knows what she had done. The childen are old enough to understand the situation. And if you are an abusive husband and father, then why did she left the kids behind w/you? Is that made her a better mom, who left the kids for another man? Don't think this is the end of your world. I am sure your kids will love and appreciate their father for being there for them. And I know there are women who don't mind to be with men who had children. Whenever I heard about a single dad been raised his kids on his own. I am always admired them. I know it is tough, but you need to be strong for yourself and your kids. Don't let them see your pain, it might have effect in them. Time will heal all the pain.( It took me more than two year to heal my pain and anger. But I moved on.) Sound to me you are a very decent man. I hope you'll find happiness someday.
2007-03-07 06:50:19 · answer #3 · answered by Lilian 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
also with the betrayal, u have her lies to deal with, she lies to avoid having to take the blame for her misdeeds. she may have a fragile personality and just be unable to cope or admit to her wrongs, so she blames what she did onto others, called projection, so she doesn't have to feel guilty, or be accountable.
2007-03-07 06:58:09 · answer #4 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
control your mind and make self confidend
2007-03-07 05:52:51 · answer #5 · answered by keral 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋