just like that.... the day before we talked about our future and on monday he just said that it isnt working anymore and he doesnt know what he feels anymore....
im so chocked....and sad and i feel lonely and scared... i cant see a future for me anymore..... how long will i feel this way and what should i do to make the time go a bit faster....? i would like to hear about som1 elses experiences....
2007-03-06 21:10:06 · 13 answers · asked by cillahblues 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
and the PAIN.....it hurts so bad.... i feel really deceived by him....
2007-03-06 21:12:44 · update #1
we had talked about our future for 4 yrs... and he knew that i wasnt ready to live with him yet...
2007-03-06 21:21:02 · update #2
i really do love him and want only the best for him but that dosnt help me and my feelings... i cant keep food down and im shacking all the time..... i fainted yesterday when i was sitting on the sofa talking to a friend..... im reallyb scared that im going to loose controll over my anorexia so i talked to my doc.... and my mum is my rock to hang on to and my soft pink cloud to fall down on... but still i dont know what to do....
2007-03-06 21:30:06 · update #3
we were planning to live togheter but i wanted to get som mony so i cuold draw my own straw... i was fully
commited to him
2007-03-06 22:11:05 · update #4
I feel your pain. Here's something to help you. What he is doing is not your fault. Remember that always. When he figures out that it wasn't greener on the other side of the fence, he may come back. DON'T LET HIM. What he has done will change YOU and how you feel about him. If he did it at 5 years, he'll do it at 10 years. Would you rather him come back and you spend the next 5 years worrying EVERYDAY if he decided to move on again. Work on yourself now, this is an awesome time in your life to find strength. Stay around friends, family and those who support you. This kind of pain passes with time. You will bounce back. When you do, you'll be a much stronger, happier and fun loving person. Why? Because you dealt with all those things you were afraid of (lonely and scared among other things). Remember one thing, when they walk out once, let that be the last time. Relationships are built on trust and communication. He failed you on both issues. If he comes around with his tail between his legs, hang tough, cuz if you don't...you'll be going through this hurt all over again (some people go through your hurt their entire lives because they let themselves). You didn't deserve it, nor should you take it.
2007-03-06 22:06:33 · answer #1 · answered by daviidtlake 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is better to know, experience the pain, be strong and feel the wind at your face, and I know it feels like someone has reached in and tugged out your heart. But this feeling is necessary as its all about lessons in this life we lead. This is showing you that there are some people that fear committment. There are some people that dont believe they love deeply enough to see themselves with the other for life. Its a huge commitment and it takes a feeling of deep love. Better to know this now trust me then, two kids that depend on you and want a MOM and DAD together, a mortgage, a feeling that all is well and suddenly he tells you sorry dear I do not love you I am leaving. Trust me you got the better end of the stick here. Know that you will definately find Mr Right. And when Mr Right loves you the right kind of unshakable, deep unconditional, non selfish love, well he will be dreaming of how lucky he has been, how the stars must have been aligned at just the right angle, to have found the woman of his dreams. He will look into your eyes and see his future. He will dream of children perhaps to fulfill your happy home. So get up off the ground, dry your tears, smile for the good times, and thank him silently in your mind for letting you know that his love just wasnt strong enough and you have been spared a much deeper complicated pain. Wish him well and be strong. The pain trust me will lessen and you will love the right kind of love again. :-)Get help for your eating disorder. You have to get it under control because you want to be as strong as you can be in order to fully enjoy and be healthy when you fall in love again. You can't go over and over how committed you were because you know what a loving person you are. You know you can love with all your heart and soul. But you do want and DESERVE a loving committed man the same as you. It has NOTHING to do with you. It is his issues, his problems, he just didnt love enough. You cannot MAKE someone love you as they should. Either they do or they dont. You should talk to someone about your depression. Is this man worth DYING for???? You are wrecking your body. It will get better. Do not allow anyone to destroy you. Pray and nurture your body and your mind and your heart and your soul.
2007-03-06 21:29:33 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I went thru what you are going thru I am so sorry for you, my ex left me three times and I was stupid to take her back. I was madly in love with her, then it hit the thin line between love and hate, it broke over tot he dark side then I wa real mean to her, but got over her. But Dear it's gonna take time, don't drink or use drugs or other men, think about what wen t wrong and try to figure it out and change it so you don't pick another loser. sometimes it's not your fault it's the guy who is wacked in the head, whatever don't blame yourself just try to understand it and fix it and don't get hookedup with someone like that again. I have no easy answers for you on geting over it, it's hard and the more you love them the harder it's gonna be, but rember this you will someday make a good man a very happy lucky man and you will be the best freind, lover, and wife you can be and the losy SOB that hurt you wel guess what he will miss out on all of it and you will reap the rewards of being a just and faithful woman. MY heart gos out to you, if you don't pray I recomened you do so now, because this is the most time when you need our loving father to get you thru this rought time.
2007-03-06 21:25:14 · answer #3 · answered by Right 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the biggest fear we often have is that we will loose control, yes it is quite normal to be hurt, and feel sick. this is the man u counted on for your future, maybe counted on too much. we feel devastated when someone lets us down, but how u deal with this will determine what happens. there is isn't much one can do, its a process, a grief process that u have to go through, first thing is to admit it is real and happening. unresolved grief come back to us later on in a negative way. don't blame yourself, this will need time, human support, and expressing all feelings. when it happened to me i was devastated, feared my future, had no idea what to do, tried to get my life back, but every time i tried, i got knocked back down, as we really don't have control over others. sometimes we just have to accept the worst. there is nothing fast about it. mostly its our own perception of it that causes us pain. we have to make us a new future, when the one we had is gone. and don't let this circumstance destroy u and ruin your self worth.therapy of some sort helps allow u to sort it all out, and understand. but usually it is a problem within that other person and not about u.
2007-03-06 23:19:03 · answer #4 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, I am truely sorry what happen to you.That was a terrible thing he did to you. Specially talking about your future together when he knew all along that it wasn't going to happen for you.He is a true coward and lied about the whole thing.It will be along time before you get over this jerk.But you are a lot better off without a
B A S T A R D like him.Give it time and you will find a kind and caring guy that will treat you with respect and love you for who you are. Just hang in there and be strong.Be there and done that.
A Friend.
Clowmy
2007-03-06 21:33:31 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Why don't you try to keep yourself in a new chapter. Like find new ways to get out and meet more people. You may b e not be ready at the moment for other men, but why didn't you realise those 5 years staying with him, that there may have not been a future for you.
May be he was thinking about this for a while but never told you not to hurt you. As soon as you wanted to go further, he found best time to run run run. Bastard tell him, get on with your life my girl, you'll find a better man out there that then HE WILL RUN AFTER YOU LIKE A HORSE AND YOU WILL JUST ENJOY IT MORE THAN THIS STUPID MAN WHO LEFT YOU!
You will get stronger, harder, and be a great person. This is the maturity of life and you'll see it one day and feel proud of yourself. Just try to take your mind out of this subject, try to keep busy, get some new courses of lessons, Language lessons, or gym, or something to get all your pain and fears away forever!
http://au.youth.yahoo.com/total-girl/
2007-03-06 21:15:31 · answer #6 · answered by Spark S 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, I don't have any personal experiences, and I know it can be really painful (hard to imagine), but I recommend trying to get over it gradually (do go over your feelings about it, as it really helps you flush the thoughts - try not to hide it in the back of your mind).
Of course, while getting over it, keep an eye out for the next great person, keeping in mind always that quality is on the inside. Remember that many terrible, worthless people are mask-wearers who have great smiles and great personalities, and whom you can't truly uncover until much later, when you find them in their comfort/boredom zone... So be mindful and carefully selective, or more mistakes will be on the way.
Hopefully the next person will be designed for you. Good luck with it. So sorry about what's happening now.
2007-03-06 21:18:45 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you weren't ready to commit to him for a lifetime after 5 years and he knew that after talking about it with you for 4, he did the right thing. Why go on with a farce, just for the sake of some misplaced feelings and "old time's sake"? Time to get moving on the rest of your life...it's nobody's fault, you just weren't right for each other. You had a good run of it, but now it's over. LIVE!!!
2007-03-06 22:06:13 · answer #8 · answered by wetdreamdiver 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
SOME MEN ARE MEN...AND SOME DO REAL DIRTY SHITTY THINGS. GO OUT AND GET A MAKEOVER AND GET ON A PLANE AND GO TO JAMAICA FOR THE WEEKEND OR VISIT OLD FRIENDS. HE STAYED WITH YOU 5 YRS SO OBVIOUSLY FOR 5 YRS YOU CAN HANDLE A RELATIONSHIP! PAT YOURSELF FOR THAT. SOME CAN'T EVEN MAKE IT FOR 6 MO! SOOOOOO... GO FIND A NEW MAN AND LIVE A GOOD LIFE.
2007-03-06 21:25:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
U could arise with ur self! U did no longer waste ur existence. all of us pass via something like this at one element or yet another. From wut u wrote it sounds like it replaced into his fault on account that u say u have been dedicated n intense-high quality. U be attentive to its no longer continuously a sturdy element to be a great intense-high quality individual, it relies upon on who ur managing. yet to respond to ur question, u gets over it with time or whilst u meet some1 extra perfect, and it's going to take place. in simple terms discover ways to renowned the signs and warning signs of an untrue individual and are available to a determination early into ur new "relationship" if it has a raffle of being something severe or no longer. Its no longer that ur no longer cute, u sound like a individual who cares for ur significant different yet whilst u have been with a cheater then have self belief me, he replaced into gonna cheat on u no remember wut. Being a woman does no longer advise ur damned for existence. U won't continuously get dumped like this, all of us pass via this. enable this journey thoughen ur skin slightly yet without starting to be to be bitter. shop ur head up and be attentive to that somebody extra perfect is on the way.
2016-11-23 12:48:57 · answer #10 · answered by ximenez 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋