EXPECTATIONs...... road to unhappiness...???

Question

Is too much expectation in things or in life makes you dissappointed and lonely,,,, and is it also right to say that without expectation we are just like living a life without hope and purpose..?
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Answer 1

A really STAR question... thanks!!

It is absolutely true that expectations coupled with uncertainties is the recipe for disappointment. However, while hope is just another form of positive expectation, purpose is different.... one can be purposeful and yet not expectant.... all that requires is the ability of acceptance.... if we can mend our mind to accept positive as well as negative results with equanimity, we can lead a purposeful life with happiness..... of course more easily said than done.

Our inability to accept failure arises basically due to our bloated ego believing we have the power to overrule or overcome uncertainty.... once we genuinely realize how small and minuscule we are in the grand scheme that this vast and variable Universe is, it can then become easier for us to accept all with equanimity.... perhaps!!

Answer 2

Hello, there. This is a discussion I lately had with my fiance. He is a perfectionist. He wants things to work as planned. If not, not only he becomes dissapointed, but also severely discouraged. I have convinced him (or at least I hope I have) that he should have a plan B and sometimes even a plan C. I can understand his point of the necessity of having expectations: it leaves you prepared. Having alternative plans leaves you even more prepared and less disappointed. So, now for most of our future plans, we try to have a plan B, no matter how sure things seem to be.
I hope my answer has helped. Have a great day!

Answer 3

Excellent question. Unfortunately there is no short, glib, answer. Due to the inate complexity of the human experience, and it's role in true 'Creativity', one has to achieve a very high level of understanding before the second part of your question no longer comes into play.

So, firstly yes, it is, indeed, our tendency to expect ( mostly of others ) that leads to disappointment. Loneliness is not necessarily a co-relative effect, that has more to do with 'separation', the feeling of unconnnectedness that affects us all from time to time. That can be dealt with succinctly. Go back to basic cosmic physics, still today the general consensus has not moved concertedly beyond 'Big Bang', so if we use that rather simple model, it states that at the ;beginning' that was just one mass of 'stuff', infinitely dense and compressed, and it somehow achieved something like nuclear criticallity, there was, as they say, a great big bang, and everything was flung out from the 'center' in all directions at once.

So........? So we all came from the same homogenous lump of stuff, so which ever way you cut everything, including us humans, is/are connected.

Next, we have hopes, aspirations, desires, wishes and so on, for ourselves. in order to bring those about we begin to 'manouver' others into all sorts of complicated 'positions' so that they may play the roles that we need to fulfil our expectations. We forget that they, all of they, have their own desires, which do not necessarily concur with ours.

Result ? Much frustration, annoyance and even anger, none of which actually has any bearing on the other(s), although we all tend to graft it onto them.

Another way ? Try wishing for others what they wish for themselves, in the knowledge that if their desires are fulfilled there is much more possibility for their interactions with us to be more pleasant.

Also I have tried to change the way I think, instead of needs and wishes, I have developed the principle of 'preference', it's not so rigid. I prefer this over that.........

Purpose is to experience that which we would prefer to experience, and Hope is always a good aid along the way. Intent for ourselves and hope that others will experience their heart's preference.

Answer 4

Yes,,,,,,, expectations makes you disappointed and lonely,,,

Yes,,,,,,, without expectation life means without hope & purpose,,,

Therefore we need a balance or realistic expectation for us not to be let down and frustrated most of the time,,,

AND at the same time we need a positive expectation to push us more to achieve our purpose in life,,,

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Answer 5

The key is being able to have "realistic" expectations, although any kind of expectation is future-thought. You set yourself up for disappointment.

I don't know that a lack of expectation = a life "without purpose." Perhaps it would be better to suggest that a person have realistic standards.

Answer 6

Putting too much into too high expectations can make you disheartened. Having a healthy amount of trust invested in expectations isn't a bad thing. Having hope means just that to hope, not to expect that everything that you hope for will come true.

Answer 7

The more you expect, the more you'll be disappointed. You can have a hopeful and purposeful life without too much expectations, think more on self-awareness and goals.

Answer 8

Expectation doesn't stand alone, it involves time. You have to be looking for a future occurrence to "expect" something. While you are doing this, you are not enjoying the present moment. It is OK to imagine the future and have expectations, but maybe not as a full-time distraction from every moment.

Answer 9

i'm not conscious of this quote yet I even tend to think of that this could have been written with a particular connection with a character , in a particular subject . persons including Oscar wilde does not have been this sort of "sitting on the fence" human beings. Many such writers assert their perspectives. in spite of, i've got self assurance that this assertion could desire to be abetter thank you to cajole the No Doers somewhat than the Doers. To lead them to do a element it somewhat is the thank you to tell them that they'll sense sorry approximately it besides for being non energetic. The advice right this is they might as properly be unhappy doing it. Who knows , in the tip , they'll finally end up to do issues!

Answer 10

Too much of anything is crap, even good things. Without expectations you cannot live up to them, succeed, and feel accomplishment. I think maybe you are feeling overwhelmed with pressure. Chill out... everything will be fine.