My gf & I are both mid-20's college undergrads and we've been to gether for over a year. We've had our share of ups and downs thru out the relationship and we are best friends who became lovers. We've talked of a possible future together and have goals of grad & medical school. Recently, my gf came down w/ extreme anxiety to the point in which she had to take leave from work, withdraw from school and abruptly head back to her hometown b/c she felt lost and uncertain. At the moment, she also helps manage a family business, not doing well in her courses, waiting for responses from pharmacy school, fighting w/ her ex bf and feeling as if she can no longer have the mental strength to go on anymore. For me, I've always taken care of her but now she is 300 miles away from me (living at her ex's), and on the phone, she sounds confused about everything and she wants to put our relationship on hold but yet have a future. For me, I now feel depressed, mad, unfocused & lost...what am i to do?
2007-03-06 21:03:26 · 12 answers · asked by kisskissbangbang 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Aww...I'm sorry to hear what you're going through, my heart goes out, really. As for your girlfriend, I say let her make the decisions...obviously she's going through a tough time and the only thing you can really do is be her friend right now, and help her through it. Maybe when she settles down and realizes things, she'll want to be together with you again. I think the choice is really up to her.
Maybe give her some space, and let her figure things out. But don't let go of her completely! Just stay her friend...
That's the best advice I can give you... =(
2007-03-06 21:08:15 · answer #1 · answered by Wendy 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Wow, This happened to me too! Except my ex went crazy and is now in an institution. What is she doing to you. You should not trust her living with her ex. I mean c'mon she's living with him and asking you for more time away. (See the light sweetie) Isn't she far enough away?
I'd say leave her, if she is that unsure of her life to just leave you out of it, then she will do it again. Don't trust her.
It's hard to love someone so much and lose them, but believe me you can find someone who loves you even more and will involve you in every aspect of their life. I'm sorry this is happening, but you will make it through. There were days that I was so depressed and didn't know how I was going to live without him. God gave me someone who made everything make sense.
We've been married for 5 years now and have 2 beautiful children. I never thought in a million years that I could go on to love someone else after losing him. Guess what? The love I had for him is so little compared to the love I have for my husband.
It can happen, but you need to let her go. She's obviously made her choice.
If you need any more help you can write to me @ silvercrown40@gmail.com. I'll be the ear if you need one.
Lots of hope for you,
Michelle
*MUAH*
P.S. You will never forget her, but you can live without her. Soon you will look back and see that the choice you made was good. Don't let someone else chose where your life is suppose to go, only you can decide that.
2007-03-07 05:21:53 · answer #2 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
seek professional help . if you think you are losing it . you better get out there and enjoy yourself , hard as it may sounds that's just the way to go . you need to find an outlet , maybe a hobby or be surrounded by people even people you don't know . don't drown yourself with her problems though you might love her too much . just bear in mind that losing it at this point will not help her in any way . support her the best you can that's the only thing you can do right now . don't lose yourself and hang in there !
2007-03-07 05:05:17 · answer #3 · answered by asphyxia 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sir there is no future she is not over mr ex and he is pulling her strigns, you need to get on with your life finish school and get a job, if she comes back take it one step at a time if not there are plenty of wonderful women that can make you forget about her. It sounds cold but look what she is doing to you. Do you honestly think she can do this to you and with a straight face tell you she love you? it's hard to swallow but I have been hwere you are at get out hile you can, as hall and oats used to say She's a man eater.
2007-03-07 05:14:22 · answer #4 · answered by Right 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Give her time.....when people feel overwhelmed about things they tend get lost in their own messes and their own fears....ive been in her shoes many a times....and asked to put things on hold because your afraid that your relationship is going to fall apart as well like the rest of her life...she needs to find herself and what she needs and wants out of life.....then she can have a relationship with you......you cant really be in a relationship with someone if you cant be happy by yourself.....if you dont know what you want and need out of life......so the best thing you can do is give her time and try to help he as best as you can but dont push her.....i think people especially women hate being pushed......i know i do......
2007-03-07 05:09:32 · answer #5 · answered by Alia H 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
As hard as your situation is, it sounds like she needs some time to herself. Obviously she is going through a lot of emotional issues right now... she even retreated to her ex's place... which is really odd.
You might want to back off a bit and concentrate on what you have going for yourself at this point. I know its difficult but the space may be good for her and you.
Maybe once she gets herself together she will go back to you....
2007-03-07 05:10:23 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
She needs her space to figure things out andthe mean time do not let go of our goals, see a counselor and give her time to work things out.It will all work out in the end.
2007-03-07 05:10:49 · answer #7 · answered by Sxoxo 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Wait a minute. She moved in with her ex? Not her parents? There's something fishy going on here.
2007-03-07 05:22:18 · answer #8 · answered by Rose of the Valley 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
SHE SOUNDS LIKE A HIGH LEVEL OF DEPRESSION AND ANXIETY. GIVE HER SOME SPACE AND SEE IF SHE WILL SEE A DOCTOR. GIVE IT A MONTH OR SO AND THEN GO TO SEE HER. BE SUPPORTIVE. I HAVE BI-POLAR AND MY BOY FRIEND AND GIRLFRIEND HAVE TO HELP ME SOMETIMES AND I HAVE HAD TO SEE SOMEONE AND BE ON MEDS FOR SHORT PERIODS TOO. THINGS WILL STRAIGHTEN OUT BUT NOT RIGHT AWAY.
2007-03-07 05:10:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I know it might be difficult for you ,but you will have to give her some space to work things out,everything should come together,just always be there for her.
2007-03-07 05:06:40 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋