Not good enough to be a ballerina anymore?

Question

I go to a good full-time ballet school but feel like I'm not good enough. I'm flexible and have a good jump, beats and adage.not so good at pirouettes, usually a triple with a hop. My teacher hates me and I don't know why, I know not to take criticism and corrections to heart but she says I'm stupid and lazy and I don't think I am. She doesn't cast me in performances and then will tell me I'm too fat in front of all my classmates. She's stopped me from doing partnering because she says I'm too heavy for the boys to lift. I weigh 55kg, she didn't believe me when I told her that I'm trying to eat well, an achievement for me as I've had bulimia. there are heavier girls in my class but she doesnt seem to care about them being lifted. My classmates all agree that she's really hard on me and it's unfair. I don't know what to do. I'm thinking of just giving up, she makes everyday misery. I can't talk to any other teachers, they'll tell her. I'm scared I'm wasting my life. What should I do?

Answer 1

I think you should hang in there. My daughter does ballet (just for fun) with a ballet school in australia. The teacher is so good that some of the dancers have gone on to dance in Paris and London and if you remember the Sydney Olympics some of the choreography was done by one of her students who is now an acclaimed choreography named Jason Coleman. I realise that dancing full time is way more advanced than anything my daughter has done, but your question reminded me of my daughters grade 6 exam. 6 students from the school sat it in 3's. With my daughters group being the ones that were doing really well. The examiner was very green being the first time she had examined out of her own state. She had no idea who's girls she was judging and when my daughters group walked in she commented that they were all very small to be going for that level. She decided to fail all three of them and then went on to pass the next group from the same school who were no where near as advanced but happened to be taller. The girls waited for their results for several weeks then were told they had failed. There ballet teacher was horrified and a complaint was put in to the Cecchetti board, but they couldnt do anything about it. I remember one of the girls resolve when she walked back into ballet class with my daughter and the other girl who had failed. SHe held her head high and said ' I am going to pass that exam and I am going to remember that womans name well. One day I will walk up to her and say hey I'm still here and I passed with High distinctions. She did go on to pass that exam along with my daughter and the other girl. And she is one of the best dancers in the school winning the scholarship last year and dancing the main part in the concert.

What I am trying to get at is that you obviously have a clash with this woman who is abusing it because of her position. Hang in there and become the best dancer you can and one day you can walk up to her and say 'hey I'm still here and look at me. I'm still here even though you tried hard to make me quit.'

Good luck and never give in!

Answer 2

Wow, I am really sorry. I dance at a studio where ballet is definately not the priority although everyone in the company takes it. We focus competition dance but I've also been at a place where ballet is the complete focus. Anyway, no dancer should have to suffer through that teacher. I would try to talk to her and if she won't listen than I'd switch studios/schools. Don't worry if you break down when talking to her because it might just help you convince her how you feel. Dance is suppose to be something enjoyable. Maybe try a new style? Like jazz, modern or lyrical? But if you truely love ballet you should stick with it and just find somewhere else to go. Dance class shouldn't be something that stresses you out, it should be something that relieves your stress. Thats why I love it so much. When I go to my classes, it is a chance to get away from the stress in the rest of my life and I always look forward to it.

Good luck with that ever you decide to do!

Answer 3

It doesn't seem to me like you truly feel you're not good enough. You are good, and you know it. It is your teacher who puts you down and tries to make you feel less than a ballerina. You have many choises: continue what you were doing, but you will be miserable, so that's not good because in turn it affects your dancing. You can try and talk to your teacher and ask her exactly why is she giving you such a hard time. Be very respectful an dlisten carefully. But don't expect too much out of it. Consider it a fomality. Once you've done that (and if there was no results), talk to the school's director and explain the situation. You can support your case by telling him/her about the outcome of the conversation with your teacher. You are right, talking to other teachers will do nothing. Good luck.

Answer 4

As a dance teacher, I must say I am truly sorry that you have a ballet mistress who cannot see through the facade that you have to be anorexic to be a good ballerina.
My senior level ballet class got a new addition last year, a girl from another ballet studio. She weighed 43 kg at the time. Her former studio's ballet mistress refused to allow the girls to eat the day of a show, and heavily criticized anyone who weighed more than 48 kg.
After 12 months of intense one on one work with this girl, I finally have her at a healthier 52 kg, I have got her confidence back in her dancing, and the most important: she loves ballet again.
I would recommend changing studio's IMMEDIATELY, as your school seems to have an uncaring (and unhealthy) approach to ballet. You will be surprised how much more enjoyable dance will be, your confidence will soar, and you will be happier with the decision to move on.

Answer 5

I'm really so sorry that you're having such a hard time... i dance ballet, too, but only as a hobby. I'm not so into it that I'm scolded for being fat (even though i am chubby, nobody in my class wants to become a pro or anything and don't care.), but i go to Juilliard School for music, and all the dance students there are so thin, they ALL look anorexic...

i think you ought to try going to some counseling sessions if you want to, and talk to someone about your problems. don't be so scared about talking to the other teachers, and try to switch teachers if you can--you've probably had some rough times before, too, if you've had bulimia... try to stop stressing alone and seek help from others.

Answer 6

Consider that a ballerina might be done with her career before 30. Is that really where you want to place all your eggs? Why not cultivate a career that can sustain you and give you enough free time to be in local ballet companies, teach classes and take advanced seminars when offered. You can still be a star in performances, and pursue your love of dance without having to move home and declare bankruptcy if you twist your ankle.

I stopped majoring in dance for a different reason- because I hated being MADE to do something I love. I dance alot less but it never feelslike a chore, it is always a joy.

Answer 7

Please do not let this teacher discourage you. Perhaps you are not destined to be a ballerina on stage professionally, how could I know, but nothing and noone can deny your love or passion for the dance. Many people put up a bar in their own homes and practice ballet all their lives for flexibilty and strength. You may become a teacher , yourself, one day, and could inspire many other young girls . Don't get caught up in kgs or be discourgaged by one insensitive teacher. Continue your class by choice or find another one!! Dance should be joyful, not miserable . I'd pack up my toe shoes and point myself in the direction of a new studio. You aren't wasting your life. Carry this lesson with you as you go leaping out the door, and don't look back. Au revoir!

Answer 8

Schedule a conference with the school director and air your complaints. Your teacher will demand and should have an opportunity to defend herself. It will be difficult but you must do it. If all your other teachers are happy with our performance it seems obvious that this teacher has a problem. All teachers are guilty of having fovorite and not so favorite students. That is part of human nature. However, ridiculing you in front of the class etc. should not be tolerated. You are not wasting your life, but you may need to think about another school if that is possible.

Answer 9

I am so sorry about your teacher. Could you ask any classmates if they know why she is treating you like she's doing? Would it be possible for you stay after class one day and ask the teacher yourself? It would be terribly difficult to figure this out alone. If you can find any sympathetic person who is knowledgeable about ballet, I think you would possibly be able to figure out what is wrong. Does your teacher tell you what you need to do to be better? Have you tried asking that? I've had the same thing happen and I finally left, but I tried it all.

Answer 10

Maybe just talk to her straight out and tell her how you feel and if that doesn't help. Go to another school ! never settle for less than the respect you deserve. Is she a tough teacher and just expects more from you or is she just a *****?