After a year and a half of marriage....my Hubby admits he married me on a bet and never loved me. Now....?

Question

we are in a bitter divorce and i need to know about 2 financial things

i threw him out the day after he told me...but he'd had me quit my job to go back to school about a month before. I struggled and skimped and borrowed the rent, car payment, etc for 5 months....while he didn't pay his credit card or other bills, now he says he doesn't have to pay me back his half of the bills because the day i threw him out we were seperated?? is this true? i ended up losing the apartment because i couldn't come up with the money...and am about $10k in debt to family now thanks to him!!

Also...he's trying to get me to file taxes with him, because he got an inheritance last year of several thousand dollars and he'll lose alot if he files alone....but i want atleast Half of the inheritance now as it was during our marriage (before the seperation) and i deserve it after all of this hell....i have a right to it.....right?

HELP HELP HELP!!!!!

Answer 1

I went thru something similar -she was a con artist I married after my wife died of a brain tumor - she ruined my credit and I am still picking up the pieces. I advise getting an attorney, as clearly your shared bills are half his responsibility.

But one thing you're not going to like is that any inheritance of his is legally ONLY HIS - UNLESS he decided to co-mingle it by putting the money in your joint bank account BEFORE you filed for divorce - it's a principle called separate property. This means that if he received the money after you filed the divorce, most likely you do not have a right to said money - unless he deliberately made it get delayed until after you filed - very hard to prove. But if he hid it or removed it from your joint account after the divorce was filed, that is against the law - it's called Concealing an Asset.

I think that any punishment that could befall this scoundrel and spawn of Satan would be too good for him. In simpler times, when men had honor, one of your relatives would have made him disappear or challenged him to a duel - but that sort of sentiment is considered passé, more's the pity. I am outraged by this sick excuse of a man's behavior. Do yourself a favor - I know it's way too early, but like me, you may just meet a nice man out there someday. I know - I swore off all women after the aforementioned stuff happened to me - then I met the love of my life after all the crap I went thru - without actually even looking! But the first priority is to go after him and rebuild your own life. It will all come with time, patience, hard work and the support and understanding of any good friends/family as you may have around you in this time of trial.

I'm praying for you. You deserve better.

P.S.: about the taxes being filed jointly per his request: NO WAY! you have the right to file separately and he cannot make you do otherwise. Might be a bargaining chip. If such a ploy on your part were to result in him agreeing to share his inheritance as a compromise to avoid his hefty taxes if filed separately, it is possible that any money given to/shared with you would be considered a taxable gift if more than the yearly/lifetime maximum gift was given to you - and the tax on gifts is the responsibility of the person receiving it. Any such "gift" arrangement compromise should not be done for the scenario where he is restoring assets that he tried to hide - in such a case, F him. Let him rot.

Answer 2

First, men don’t get married to win a bet…at least, not ones that have ANY brains at all. Chances are 99.99999% that he’s LYING to you about that. But I have no clue why he’d tell a lie like that.

Second, a man can’t ‘have you quit your job’ for any reason, because a man, even your husband doesn’t have the power to order you to do something. They can suggest it and they can encourage it, but they can’t make you do it. So, by trying to shift the blame to him and refusing to accept any responsibility for YOUR decision…it’s not coming out off making you look good.

Third, if his name is on the lease (and I assume it is) then technically he’s legally responsible for paying half the rent. But the only way you’re going to be able to force him to do it is to get a judge to order it. The chances of judge ordering him to pay half the rent after you threw him out and refuse to let him reside there (regardless of the reason--unless you have evidence of physical abuse) are VERY SLIM. You should have thought it through first.

However, the credit card bills are another matter, and rather you threw him or not, he will still be held just as responsible for those as you are (assuming they're joint credit cards--and probably even if they aren't joint credit cards).

Fourth, inheritance (even if it was acquired during the marriage) is generally considered separate (not marital) funds as long as it was kept separate from the martial funds. So, you may not be entitled to a penny of it. If the money was co-mingled though, that’s a different matter, and if he did that, it was not a smart thing for him to do.

If you don’t want to file your taxes jointly with him, simply refuse to do it. He can’t make you do it, and if he’s forges your signature, that’s illegal.

I say all that assuming you live in the U.S., but if you don’t (and you didn't say where you live) then the laws may be different in your country.

Answer 3

You have no problem here. He will get at least half the marital bills and you are entitled to at least half his inheritance. Just dont sign or agree to any kind of offer coming from him or his attorney outside of court. It would really be to his benefit to get you to do so unless it is in your best interest but have an attorney explain it to you if you dont understand any offer, because once you sign or agree, the courts will be unable to help you undo it. So as for the taxes, you may be able to work out one hell of a deal that would be greatly beneficial to you for your agreement but accept nothing less than half. He needs you more than you need him so use him, nothing wrong with that and then take what the court awards you. Good luck

Answer 4

Mist, I would take a small "Digital" voice recorder with you and have a talk with him. Not to resolve anything, but, try to get him to admit "AGAIN" on the recorder that can be easily hidden in your pocket of him saying or acknowledging again that he married you "on a bet". This can be used in court, and this very admission would go a LONG way in you getting not just part of his inheritance and income and joint property and posessions, but, it would infuriate the Judge and show that he married under DISHONORABLE circumstances and reasons, and his manipulation of you to quit your job can be construed as a groos misrepresentation and manipulation by him since he knew he married you not for the sake of proper and devoted marriage, but, in a way of great deception.

Your now financial situation goes to the heart of his deceit. If you can get him to admit it on a recording device that you can easily hide from him, you can have him by the balls in a Mason Jar, and the Court will really frown and be prompted to act under legal precedents and would be an admission by him of a "fraudulent" marriage which is a very serious dynamic in Divorce proceedings.

You need to act wise and very cunning now to lay a snare for him in the manner I advise you, and, believe me; the Court will hold him accountable, and you can even add in other action such as marital/emotional cruelty, and a slew of other claims.

Marriage under fraud is very serious and I believe most every if not every state recognizes such. Believe me, a Judge will adjudicate harshly his actions of a bet to marry you when you believed you were enetering into marriage for sound reasons beyond the scope of emotional desire. Marriage responsibilities are seen under the letter of law and had you been married by a Justice of the Peace or by a Court Magistrate, you would have heard spoken the basic requirements that each promise made to one another under law.

Just get that recording, then make copies and give one to your Lawyer. He'll be lucky to walk out of court with his shirt. Believe me, I read up on this in a Law Library some years back.

Answer 5

Everything is half and half, and that includes the debt. Tell him to pick his sorry lying deceitful butt up and handle his half, because a judge won't look too kindly on a man who married on a bet. Almost any judge would award you anything you would ask for because you are a victim in this.

Answer 6

That is bad.

I had similar happen to me.

There is no justice anymore, for those whose feelings get hurt or used. You just get laughed at. This one girl took $10,000 from me, lost my car,

I don't know why people are so mean sometimes. And people wonder why crime is so high? Maybe if they stop being so MEAN!
Lol!

I understand your pain. I am having to recover slowly, & no, she got away with not having to pay anything back. Stupid whore.

Lol !!!

Be safe, careful, take it one day at a time. Thanks for sharing! Now, I don't feel so dumb myself, lol !

Answer 7

you need professional legal advice, if you are on a low income you should be able to get free assistance with this matter. you could put a contract out on him , save lots of hassle! lol

Answer 8

yes, you have a right to everything--get 1/2 of everything and get a good lawyer!!!