ive been married 2 yrs and have 2 children under 2 my marrige is on the verge of breaking up. any ideas tips or secrets to a happy marrige would be appreciated before mine ends in divorce.
2007-03-06 20:27:13 · 26 answers · asked by **?** 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Successful marriages boil down to one thing they all have in common. The faults that a person has is something their partner can live with. It doesn't matter how much you love someone if they have that one quirk that you can't live with or deal with. PERIOD
2007-03-06 20:41:23 · answer #1 · answered by ckgene 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Would'nt think that there is a recipe for a long and happy marriage.Your on the right track.With two children he will have to pay support for many years to come.No matter what he does the children will e his responsiblity When you see couples with large families(at least four kids)they seem to stay together forever.This does'nt necessarily mean they are happy It means they've no other option but to make a go of it for the childrens sake.No woman(mistress)would want to take up with a man who is responsible for a large families upkeep.Money(or lack of it)is usually the root cause of strife in young marriages.Just do the very best you can for your babies.Don't worry things will get better and you'll be richly rewarded.So will hubby If he plays his part too
2007-03-06 20:52:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
2 years + 2 children doesn't seem like either of you have given the marriage a chance.
I'm guessing you both love the children and at this point they should be worth the two of you adults trying to make it work between you.
Poor little people should be worth the two of you seeking the help of a guidance counsellor, perhaps you both need to put the children first in this matter.
It is no good for them if the two of you are not getting on, much better if you can at least try to be friends for a bit longer to see if you can't turn the situation around.
Some serious talking needs to be done but both of you need to think seriously about the consequences of splitting up and how that is going to affect the children and their relationship with you both as parents.
2007-03-06 20:43:15 · answer #3 · answered by Jewel 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Believe me - everyone with young children goes through this stage - please don't think I'm being patronising - the statistics back me up and I've been there myself. My husband has a good answer to this dilemma. He says that no one ever plans to get divorced but the biggest problem people make is that no one ever plans to stay together either. In other words you do actually have to have a plan, you have to stick at it and work at it and it's not easy. But if you plan to stay married, that's the way it will be.
You're going through the hardest stage of your life right now. You're probably both tired and cranky and blaming each other for everything. You don't really know each other any more - all your efforts have been focused on your children in recent months. Is there someone who can help you out with the children for a few days? You don't need to go away but it would be good for the two of you to have some time together, without the children around, to remember why you fell in love in the first place.
Good luck - I know it isn't easy - but make plans to stay married. It worked for us and we've been married for ten years now - I promise it gets much better as the children get older x
2007-03-06 21:24:33 · answer #4 · answered by Away With The Fairies 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
MONEY or the LACK of it in to-day,s society causes us all a lot of stress. Think before you buy. RESPECT YOURSELF. Respect each other. Respect each others space. Never ever argue, walk away and calm down if the talking gets heated again, walk away again. Never ever let the children hear anything negative between you two. I know this is the hardest thing to do as your children are everywhere. You and our partner are responsible for your children, they should always come first, what they hear and see in early development affects them and the world for the rest of eternity. They are our future. Yes I do live on this planet and feeling guilty never helped anyone. Our emotions sometimes can be our own downfall. There are choices in life take one, give yourself a reasonable time scale with this particular choice, if it dose not work out, do not beat yourself and those around you into a pulp over it. Accept this decision has not worked out as you had planned. Choose a different lifestyle. YOU are NOT a FAILURE for doing this. APPRECIATE LIFE. BE HAPPY. Best Wishes for you and your children's future.
2007-03-06 21:25:26 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
As we are all individuals I don't think that there is 1 formula/secret for a happy marriage.
My wife & I had a wonderful marriage for almost 30 years until she sadly passed away in 2005. Some simple rules developed over the years that we tried to stick to.
1. All arguments stop at the bedroom door.
2. Be honest.
3. Make sure that we make time for ourselves.
4. Look out for each other.
Our marriage was built on trust, love & mutual respect.
I think that of the above No. 3 is very important. We always made sure that our 4 children went to bed early to allow us "quality" time together when we could have a meal or drink together or just talk.
Marriage isnt easy at times, it must be worked at.
I hope that it works out for you.
Good Luck
2007-03-06 21:14:48 · answer #6 · answered by wayforwardhow 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
One thing that I have learned while being married is understanding that you come from different families, therefore you have different beliefs. So if you say or do something to her and he doesn't react the way that you expected, try to understand it's not because he thinks what you said or did is crazy it's just that he wasn't brought up the same way. You know, his family might motivate each other by insults and your might use encouraging words. And the same goes for him when he says or does something to you. I swear this is the best advise that anyone has ever given me....also try to have a "love" language which are acts of service, physical touch, time with each other, gifts, and words of affirmation...but you will need to learn each others language that way you are both letting each other know that you LOVE them...
2016-03-16 06:23:47 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes, letting go seems like the easiest thing to do. But think about this: you've invested so much of your time and energy into another person; you've made a solemn promise; and you still know there's love, even if it's hiding underneath the surface. This website will show you how to save a marriage and avoid divorce, even if you're the only one trying https://tr.im/Dl94N
2015-01-28 13:07:11 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never diminishing LOVE, TRUST and Bond. Happiness or Sorrow the way of sharing means a lot for any couple.
Since the 'issues' which are the cause for the flutter which might lead to divorce are not known it is indeed difficult to suggest any thing.
2007-03-06 20:35:19 · answer #9 · answered by cnsone 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been married for 18 years Emms and the only things I can say to you are these:
1, Always try to be friends.
2, Never let the sun go down on an argument, you will only wake up to it.
3, Be a Diplomat, but not a doormat.
4, When you have had enough, LIKE ME, pack your things and go find a new life.
2007-03-06 20:39:15 · answer #10 · answered by Robin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋