I don´t have a job yet, but I will have to get a bank account in this country when I do get one for payment purposes. She wants me to make the account with her name cosigned so she can more easily transfer funds on line. The thing is, is that it will be with the same bank as her so I don´t think that she would have to be on my account to take or give money. I think that as soon as a wife has her name on my account, every little bit of money I make, she will be sitting there with her mental calculator saying, ¨honey, why is there 20 euros missing from OUR account¨, and also I am more about independence. I realize she is my wife, and I always give her money because I like to give money to the people I love, but I don´t want her to have so much control on the one area where I feel I should be alone. What do you think this is???
2007-03-06 20:05:45 · 4 answers · asked by nassim420 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I would happily give her whatever money she asks for, but I just want to know (if there was ever a possibility of a divorce) would I be screwed seeing as she is on my bank account???
2007-03-06 20:07:35 · update #1
She already has a bank account or two, that I have no name on. Would she have to put my name on those as well??? She has an account that she shares with her mom, should I put myself as the third party on that one? I think she would feel overwhelmed if I expected that. I am asking what are my rights as a husband?? I know if I make her angry she will try to screw me over. I know it´s not giving because if you really want to add, she has given more to me than vice versa, BUT, in case, just in case something happened, I just want to know, can I totally get screwed over? Or is there a chance that she can too? Opinions, and legal advice will be GREATLY APPRECIATED...
Thank you.
2007-03-06 20:17:03 · update #2
Please, to the second guy, don´t give me your opinion on our marriage. I didn´t ask about that. When I want a condescension I´ll remember to text you though. Is your phone number still 911?
2007-03-06 20:19:57 · update #3
Yeah, to the fourth person, I know it appears that way to you, but since the beginning, money has been a problem, ok correction, since we don´t live with the MIL anymore, money has been a problem. If it´s going to continue being a problem after getting a decent job in this country like my decent job in America, I want to know all my rights, and asking a question about that, (just in my eyes) is NOT wrong, and not being ignorant about my rights is not wrong either. And expecting to get a CLEAR ANSWER ABOUT MY QUESTION...is not wrong either. Just one completely straight answer and I will start sending checks out. Jumpin´ Jiminy Gemini, Batface, I just can´t do it captain, I don´t HHAVE the powerrrrs.
2007-03-06 20:38:52 · update #4
Well, you wouldn't be "giving" her money. Once you're married it belongs to both of you anyway--so she would be correct in saying "our" account. Of course, she should not hold a separate account either.
If you aren't willing to share a bank account, how do you think you will be able to share a life???
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Ok, so after looking at your additions to the question, I think this is a bigger problem. You should seriously consider sitting down with a financial planner. It sounds like you have lots of money issues to discuss. And, setting up a system now will save you frustration (and possibly divorce) down the road. If and when you suggest this option to your wife, phrase it in a way that stresses that YOU need this, not HER. That way she won't feel as if you are trying to force something on her. Let her know how much it would mean to you if she would help you find a financial planner to explain all this to you (use the fact that you are from another country as an excuse). You do need clarification don't you? So it would really be the truth. Plus, any woman should appreciate her man trying to make financial plans for the future (save for retirement, vacations, kids...whatever).
To you specific questions--Yes, I think you should be added to her bank account. No, I don't think you should be on her mother's account.
2007-03-06 20:12:49 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You have serious problems. Even with out a job and a salary you have started to think how your girl friend is going to torment you when she becomes your wife.
Talk it out with her. If necessary you could have clear cut arrangements about the personal finances for a few years after which you will know whether you marriage has succeeded or failed. It could be for a 20 buck question or even bigger issues.
2007-03-06 20:30:11 · answer #2 · answered by cnsone 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to bust your bubble, but in most cases whatever is gained after the marriage is split in a divorce... therefore she is entitled to half of it anyway.
You should talk to your wife about the situation. When you get married, that is something that you have to work on... compromise, communication, trust, and respect. My name is on my husbands account and WE BOTH know what our responsibilites are and what we have left to "play" with as well as save. But hey, it's your decision...
2007-03-06 20:19:32 · answer #3 · answered by mrslang1976 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
wat a nice start
2007-03-06 20:18:18 · answer #4 · answered by Caring 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋