I am married and bisexual and just have cheated! Help how do I tell him what has happend?

Question

I HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR 4YEARS AND HE KNOWS WHAT I AM. TOLD TOLD HIM BEFORE WE EVER GOT TOGETHER. WE HAVE HAD ALOT OF FUN WITH THAT U ALL KNOW WHAT I MEAN......... BUT THERE WAS THIS ONE WOMEN THAT I JUST HAD TO HAVE AND I STOPPED MYSELF FOR 2YEARS THEN WE ME AND HER WENT OUT AND GOT DRUNK ON A GIRLS NIGHT OUT AND SHE MADE HER MOVE FIRST AND I JUST DID NOT HAVE THE WILL POWER TO STOP HER. I REALLY LOVE MY MAN HE IS MY WORLD I COULD NOT LOSE HIM OR I WOULD LOSE EVERYTHING!!!!!! HELP ME PLEASE WHAT DO I DO NOW????? THANKS!

Answer 1

Dear Lady, let me share something in my life similar to yours. My deceased wife was bi-sexual also. I knew about it and was ok with the occasional fling she had (that she tried to hide from me) with one particular ex-girlfriend (no promiscutity going on).

My wife could not bring herself to tell me for fear I would be jealous or feel inadequate. I suffer from neither hangup. I know better. A person is born being bisexual. There was no "adultery" going on there, because other than that she was faithful to me until the day she died.

Maybe you are afraid your man will feel inadequate or jealous, or think that you want a lesbian relationship instead of the one you have now. You seriously need to talk to him about that but must tell him of the incident, including the manner in which you feel that the other woman might have taken advantage of you and that it was not pre-meditated but out of the blue, and while intoxicated. Try to explain that you would not have acted the same way if a man had come onto you, and that this bisexual "incident" was not meant to make him feel inferior or jealous, and that you have absolutely NO agenda in playing games of any kind, either to punish him (for reasons only the two of you might know, if such even exist - not my business) or to give him a signal that your relationship with him is over. You must also explain that this issue has been eating at you for some time and that you simply had to tell him, regardlesss of the consequences (he will love the martyrdom thing - trust me).

Not that I personally want to get involved, but if he needs to hear how someone else dealt with this issue in a clear-headed way feel free to have him email me thru my profile here at Yahoo! Answers.

Best of Luck.

P.S.: the use of all Capitals (also known as CAPS LOCK) is the internet equivalent to shouting - just so you'll know.

Answer 2

First of all, don't use all caps, it implies that you're screaming.

Second, grow up. You're not an animal and don't have to act on every single impulse that comes to mind.

Third, I find it a little hard to believe that your man is "your wold" when you obviously didn't have a problem sleeping with someone else. If he is "your world", then you need to start acting like it.
When you're married, it means you forsake all others. That means you don't sleep around.

Answer 3

Well breaking the news to him carefully would be a good start. He knows that you are Bi so it should help a bit. Honesty is best or it will eat you up forever. Appologize profusely, make him his favorite dinners for a long time ( Men of all sorts can be bribed quite a bit through their stomaches). I cannot guarantee he won't be upset as I don't know him or you or your situation, but that is the best possible route I think... Personally I would never stress if my Bi wife slept with another woman, long as she wasn't bringing any diseases to my bed, but that is just me.

Answer 4

Tell him. If you truly love him it will eat you up inside for a while.

But the good thing is he may not care that much since it was a woman, I know I could care less if a girlfriend slept with a woman. But if he doesn't care still don't do it on regular basis.

I think he most likely will care that you cheated, but its a hundred times better that its a woman.

Answer 5

well i dont classify you as bi just open minded ! i am very much in love with my man as well, and i am open minded as well i do not want to live or marry another woman if something happened to us!if you have had fun all 3 of you before i would just feel him out a little or just come on out and ask him" what if "or be like "baby today on maury, they had this couple who....." ya know what to do ! and according on his response is how i would do it !good luck baby!

Answer 6

You don't deserve your man. It doesn't matter if you cheated with a man or a woman. You shared yourself in a way with another person that you promised your husband was reserved for him. Shame on you.

Answer 7

bring her with you. if your husband knew that you were gay, and still married you, then so be it.. i hope that he didnt think that he would straighten you out... he should know better. if and when you two decide to have children, keep it away from them, it would only confuse them... but it sounds like that you two got married for the wrong reasons.. you all should have been more like Wil and Grace, except reverse.

Answer 8

Woman please! This hardly counts as cheating in my book. In fact this is totally hot. I wish my wife was more like you so she could go out and get some hotties for us.

Wow.

Just tell your man. I'm sure he'll be surprised in a good way. Then maybe who knows, the fun can continue.

Answer 9

you better tell him what you did.

another option, you have to surrender who girl you make love with.

if you don't tell him, your husband will leave you behind and you will lose everything what you have.

another point, if your husband stop having sex with you, I suggest you to go to family marriage counseling immediately before mess up will come soon.

Answer 10

You don't tell him! Why do you want to hurt him by telling him that you cheated. You need to live with the guilt of what you did. Don't destroy him just because you screwed up.