I was in a "no strings attached" relationship with a great guy. We were both recently divorced and we had a lot of fun together. I was so happy with him and fought the lovey feelings. He picked up on them and reminded me that he doesn't want to get married,that he is happy living alone.He wanted to be sure I knew I had "Stronger feelings" then he did.I knew and it didn't hurt me any to hear this.I knew I was just confuseing sex for love. A few months later I snapped out of it and we still had a great time. Well,now,a year and a half later, he's in love and wants to get married and all that. I have no desire to even live with him. I love being alone. I was married when I was 19 and divorced at 33. I am loving living alone. He says there is something wrong with that,my "wanting" to be alone.
What do you think? I don't want a boyfriend. Or a "real" relationship. IS there something wrong with that???
2007-03-06 18:03:14 · 17 answers · asked by lucysleeps 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Lucy, you already know that you are right. Of course there's nothing wrong with your wanting to live by yourself. I would be concerned about a guy who tries to tell you how you should think. You know that you can't make another person do or think anything. The only control any of us have is over our own feelings. We have the option to choose how we will react to life. His reaction, that you are "wrong" is , of course, his own issue. Your own judgment about yourself is the only one that is important to you. Stick to your guns. Tell him to buzz off. Sounds like he is beyond the "having fun" stage and now wants to begin the "control" stage. Watch out.
2007-03-06 18:11:40 · answer #1 · answered by judgebill 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You go girl! There is NOTHING wrong with you. You are enjoying being single. You learned that if you have a good thing why fix it? Being alone is refreshing. You can have the best of both worlds without taking on all the things that cause problems in a marriage. I am about to turn 32 and have been with my husband for 12 years. If we ever split up I would SOOOO live the way you are! There is plenty of time to settle down when you are older. He is your boyfriend, you are just not overly commited. That rocks!
2007-03-07 02:12:32 · answer #2 · answered by Starlyn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think anything is wrong with you. There's some people who would love to be as happy as you are living alone. He wasn't shy about telling you what he wanted in the beginning so I think you should let him know your feelings now. If he keeps pressuring you, there's other guys out there that would kill for a no strings relationship.
2007-03-07 02:15:45 · answer #3 · answered by ♫ՖքØØķ¥♫ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was married/divorced at about the same age as you. If you are like me you never really had a chance to discover who YOU are. I became so and so's wife, so and so's mom, but never ME. If living alone feels good, live alone! Discover who you are and learn to love it.
As for your current relationship...it was OK for him to not want to be in a relationship but there's something wrong with you for feeling the same way???? Hmmm...run....
Have fun! Good luck!
2007-03-07 02:57:26 · answer #4 · answered by PK211 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is definitely something wrong with the way he turns everything around to suit his needs. When he wanted to be alone, that was perfectly acceptable and you were in the wrong for having deeper feelings for him. Now that the tables are turned and he wants a committed relationship, you're wrong again for being happy alone. You can't win for losing with this moron, can you.
2007-03-07 02:10:04 · answer #5 · answered by Liz 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
This is what happens when you have sex before marriage. It takes all the "specialness" out of it and you end up with your feelings just going away for that person. Stop having sex with him and then really examine your feelings after a few months of a non-sexual relationship. Then save it for marriage - whether with this guy or the next. Research the divorce rates for 2nd marriages and also for couples who live together or have sex before marriage, it's not good! And if you or either of you have children - focus on them and wait til they're grown up to date or remarry or you will screw them up big time. They need your undivided attention and good example. God bless you!
2007-03-07 02:11:33 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
No. You sound like your enjoying your freedom. If getting married is going to disrupt that freedom, it would be mistake marriage #2, and ultimately, divorce #2 a short time later.
Much better to be dating and happy, than married and miserable.
If he can't accept it, give him the boot and find a new partner.
Good luck.
2007-03-07 02:11:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong with wanting to be alone. But, you asking this question is making me think, that you think there is something wrong with it. If you don't want to live with him, then don't, just tell it to him in a way that doesn't hurt his feelings.
2007-03-07 02:10:58 · answer #8 · answered by AuSsii3 Ang3L♥ 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you're not ready for a "real" relationship, then don't even question it. It's YOUR call, not his. And, no, there is nothing wrong with that. That is just a childish response from a man who isn't getting what he wants when he wants it. Move on.....
2007-03-07 02:40:24 · answer #9 · answered by Beckers 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You were married for 14 years and now you're single and now that you're older, see things in a different light. Nothing wrong with that at all. He sounds insecure.
2007-03-07 02:13:43 · answer #10 · answered by m k 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋