I cannot afford an attorny; I am looking for pointers on how to conduct myself in court?

Question

This is a child custody case, I am clean and sober 2 and a half years.

Answer 1

Look for a pro bono [which means "for the good" (a free service)] attorney or legal aide.

There exist charity organizations and facilitators in churches and in neighborhood community centers who might be able to suggest...

A point to make is in order here:

A fascinating mystery here is that amid your inquiry, the very people you might ask will impart ideas and support to you and by this, very curious and new ideas and questions will be coming into you. That's your fuel...

But don't do nothing.

Nothing can happen in any negative way to you for simply inquiring of help -- nothing.

Don't allow the reactive mind in you to place doubt.

Therefore, make it happen, which is to say, 'allow' what you want to happen, to indeed happen -- see?

Just know that you can find the help and begin simply taking the first step, even if you feel like a fish out of water and feel you are in an alien environment regarding what you are trying to accomplish.

Know that many of us don't know what we are doing either except that on awakening in the morning, we put one shoe on and then the other, we proceed with some sort of plan, blurry as this might be, then we step out and let momentum itself carry us to the first benchmark, then the next.

You have great advantages already. Here's why:

(1) you have already dared to inquire -- that is the very first step.

(2) you have been sober for 2 and 1/2 years... Way to go!

(3) As to your conduct in court, well, your conduct is already shining through that bodes success. Why?...

(4) ...You are in the state of asking of help, which implies you wish to be a team player for sake of yourself and goal: you are not trying to hot dog or do it alone -- or at least we should hope that you are not...

(5) Your sincerity and above all, your attitude, often dictates to a great measure of what the outcome shall be, such that even if the court or magistrate does not resolve to just what you want, it will not resolve totally to what you do not want... see? if the attitude and sincerity carries. So, the tenor, the attitude is extremely important. Attitude is a barometer of your sincerity, and perceptive people can pick this up with lightning speed. And a court official is nothing if not perceptive !

(6) Conduct yourself 'as yourself' and none other.

(7) If this carries, then when brought before council, Truth will speak for you and conduct well on your behalf. There is no exception to this...

(8) Do not set expectations in this instance. To do so is to limit yourself. Why? 'Because you nor anyone has quite the Light to know what is the optimum directive. What you want may be self-defeating. So ensure that you get out of your own way...

(9) That you cannot afford an attorney may mean little. The poorest are often the wealthiest among us. I should hope that your underlying objective or intention is one of love for the child and not power against your companion or spouse... Work on behalf of the child for the now and into the future, for consequences can mean everything -- good or bad -- and can spell the difference between relative freedom for both you and the child and freedom from that that binds you. Do well by your intention and factor from the whole circumstance and not simply from any one part. Do so such that everyone wins insofar as this is possible in a custody case -- all is relative...nothing is absolute...

(10) Do not speak, think, or act with the mind solely. Always abide the Heart. And be honest. Do only what you really want and can contain, and not what ego or enmity suggests so as to "get even." That would be to fail at your mission, and all the 9 points I outline to you before this last point would be all thrown away at once.

Answer 2

There is nothing you will be able to do in a court without a lawyer, especially when it comes to custody. Trust me on that one. Very often, even a lawyer is not able to do much (but regularly bills you per hour, nevertheless!).
You have only two options:
1. Somehow save the money, at least for the retainer. Contact your state bar or your local superior court to recommend you the attorney. Never just hire one out the yellow pages(!!).
2. The best option: Do the best you can to try to resolve the issue without getting the courts involved. Those money, that otherwise would go into the lawyers' pockets, would be much better to save for the kid(s).

Answer 3

Bring a believable witness, or some kind of other proof that you've been clean and sober for that long. If that is the reason for not having custody, think of every objection to gaining custody that the other party could come up with, and rehearse a humble, yet intelligent response to their argument. Even if you have the perfect answer memorized, pause and talk slowly, so it won't sound rehearsed.

Answer 4

You're fine, stay sober, don't fall asleep, dress normal but not casual, I'd recommend something along the lines of what you might wear to Applebee's but on the upside, so clean and well groomed and shower the night before or that morning.
Arrive at least 20 minutes but even 30-45 minutes early would not hurt. When you walk in to the court room, sit near the front.
Then, remain quiet, follow instructions, and play the game.
Best of luck.

Answer 5

Get a hair cut, wear a suit.

Your demeanor is important.

If you don't have experience in the court room, go sit in a court room and watch the proceedings. That will help you to feel more comfortable in court.

It's quite interesting to sit in the court room and watch the different cases.

I have spent a lot of time in court as an advocate for victims of spouse abuse.

Check with the court clerk or look on the wall in the courthouse for a schedule of the court docket.

I hope your not putting your child through a lot of fear and pain, just to get even with each other.

When you go into that court room, think, , , , what is the best for the child?

Good luck if you are the one who is right in this case.

Answer 6

Ask the DA to appoint one to you, that is your right to trial under our constitution. If it's a mediation trial, then attorneys really don't matter, they want to know where the children are at and how you are going to support them. The judge does a simple plug in math problem on the computer and the child support is set.....

If you are accusing her/him of being unsupportive or not caring for the kids, then its a no brainer for the judge, they will find everything out from CPS.

If you decline the court appointed attorney, then just act proffesional. My ex husband had a great attorney that did great for him, but when he threatened to punch me, and then his attorney in court the judge saw that and wasn't so lenient on the visitation rights that he should have gotten. My ex took the thing outside and wanted to start fighting his attorney in the parking lot....very, very tacky and low class.

Make yourself presentable and appropriate for court, the judge will accept you for being clean for those years,.....

good job, by the way :-)

I'm proud of you and keep going, your children are worth it.

Answer 7

act like it is an interview for a great job. dress as well as you can. use lots of "your honor"'s. talk with confidence yet be humble. dont bash the other parent. bring up your achievements in the past 2 years and what you can bring to the table for the child. look directly in the eyes of the judge. bring proof of anything that can support you being the best choice for the child. remember this is about the child. show that you can support him/her financialy /morally/ physically/ emotionally. give him the basics at least.

Answer 8

I just hope you are able to be a great parent and are doing this for th right reasons! sorry its just that I myself will be going for a custody case here soon as well and the Ex is really a unfit father.good luck!

Answer 9

Well don't swear, refer to the Judge as your Honour and make sure to watch alot of law and order.

WAIT! no watch alot of judging amy, that deals with alot of Custody battles and family law.

Answer 10

dress well but not flashy,keep calm and low key no matter what the other side says,be respectful of everybody there...have your facts in order and written down and all evidience in presentation form.....be ready to fight quietly...try to anticipate anything the other side will present against you and have counters ready.....good luck