Me and my boyfriend have been together for eight months and we always fight. We were happy for the first month, but then he admitted that he liked another girl as well as me, and that really messed me up. My self esteem dropped drastically and I became more wary. All I could think was "why"? Anyway, I decided to stay with him (God knows why) and I tried to forget about it. But then a few weeks later he called me a *****, for no reason. That hurt so much, but yet again, I decided to stay with him. More fights like these occured over the last eight months, and all those times I forgave him. Just last night we had another fight. He was telling me about a girl he knew that died 5 years ago and how much he missed her. I felt sorry for him, I really did, but he kept going on and on about it so I told him to stop. Then he started yelling at me and saying that I should understand. I DO understand. He just went over the top when I let him know I didn't want to talk about it.
2007-03-06 17:30:04 · 21 answers · asked by ♰ℓσυιѕα♰ 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Another thing is, he always tells other people about our fights, especially these two girls. I told him I hated it when he did that, but he claims that he "needs someone to talk to". I'm sick of it, I don't want out personal relationship problems on display.
2007-03-06 17:31:27 · update #1
This sounds like a form of emotional abuse. Obviously, he doesn't really care about you. Sorry.
Do yourself a favor and leave him. You sound like you deserve better than that (any girl does). So, take a night. Eat some comfort food, watch a movie, do something. Then, go pamper yourself for a day. Make him regret he ever liked another girl, and that he made you feel bad about yourself. Get a makeover. Go shopping. Something like that.
And most of all, don't ever sell yourself short. You deserve better, and he is just using you.
2007-03-06 17:37:57 · answer #1 · answered by ♥Catherine♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I just went through something similar, only he was lying about getting divorced, of course after lying about already being married. That was the last straw. When I found out there was no divorce in process, that was it. The reason I say it's similar, is because once all the lies came out, I started accepting less than standard treatment from him. I was trying to "understand" how everything went from perfect to no longer getting calls, and getting lied to all the time. I shouldn't have wasted time understanding, I should have just bolted...and yes, all this time he was still saying how much he loved me. Doesn't matter. If you're getting treated like sh*t, it's time for him to go.
You will save yourself a lot of heartache by testing the relationship...as in seeing how much work he will really put into it once you start giving him some space. If he still doesn't care, or acts distant with his new-found "space" then it's not even worth it. It's doomed from there. If on the other hand, he lets you know that he will make some changes for the best, you might have something worth keeping. Truthfully though, it sounds like he's an *ss. What man comes out and tells his girlfriend he wants another girl? That's some BS you don't need, really. It's hard to let go, but try...
2007-03-07 01:56:19 · answer #2 · answered by Gorgeous George 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let's start with the basics... it's called SELF esteem for a reason... he cannot control how you feel about you unless you let him. And any time you give someone that much power over you, you are asking to be walked on. Let's face facts: YOU ARE BETTER THAN THAT.
A lot of people (especially young women) today stay in bad relationships for a number of reasons... afraid they can't find someone else... afraid of being alone... afraid to try something new... do you see a pattern developing here??? Fear... but I've read somewhere (ok, I admit, it was the Bible) two passages taht might help... the first is: God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and love and of a sound mind. The second I think is most appropriate to your situation: Perfect love casts out fear.
The plain and simple truth is: you may love him... but that doesn't mean he's right for you... if ne needs someone to vent to, that's what his buddies are for... a man venting his problems to females will almost always lead to trouble.
Save yourself any more heart ache - go and let real love find you...
best wishes
2007-03-07 02:12:05 · answer #3 · answered by Rev T L Clark 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you sure that your Boyfriend loves you or you are the only one who is dying for him.
Make sure what you want , are you ready to continue with a guy who is lost in the dream of some one other and treat you badly?
IN todays worlds no one care about the things that are theirs and ran after others. He is confirmed that you are not going anywhere else other than him thats why he takes you casually and treats you badly.
Make him realize your importance--Start avoiding him, either he would be feel your importance and realizes his mistake or he would do the same in this scenario kick him hard on his a**,coz if he don't care for you should not rely on him.
Rather than dragging the relation it is better to end it up and start a new journey.
2007-03-07 01:56:27 · answer #4 · answered by Rahul Agarwal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are with him because you are insecure. He sounds like a jerk. The problem with this situation is that he is making you even more insecure. This situation won’t improve. He is only going to hurt you more and more, and in turn, your self esteem is going to become more and more damaged. Be strong! Get rid of him! If you dump him you will feel better about yourself and you will find a man who will make you happy.
2007-03-07 01:39:22 · answer #5 · answered by Horace 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How much are you worth to yourself? I am sure you are worth alot more than what you are putting up with. Get out of that relationship before the ties get stronger. Stay out of relationships until you figure out why you stay in a very abusive, unbalanced relationship. The fact is that until you resolve that, you are going to repeat the mistake and maybe end up married to a complete jerk who doesn't love or respect you for who you are. this guys playing on your emotions, you are not his mom, you are his girlfriend. Get out of there girl, there is so much better for you!
2007-03-07 01:36:54 · answer #6 · answered by Beautiful 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG this is like deja vu ... honestly, I just got out of it 2 ½ yrs later... get out while you can, while things are rocky, it's the easiest then, honestly. After dating 8 months, my bf wanted to go all the way, I told him I wasn't ready, I was religious and made a promise to myself to wait... and he gave me the whole "i thought you said you wanted to marry me one day"... guilted me into it... 1 month later got a tattoo - that says "Italia" on my lower back, and he told me "geez gina, if I had met you After you got a tattoo, we'd probably Not be together right now*...3 months later he hit me in the stomach... stayed with him... Don't be a douchebag... please leave.
2007-03-07 01:35:30 · answer #7 · answered by Gina 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG you are addicted to the drama. What part of being misserable is attractive to you being with him?
If you don't leave now. be prepared to sepnd the rest of your life in this dysfunction.
You need to get over this guy, You deserve a good guy who won't put you through this crap. Maybe something in your past tells you that it is ok to be in a crappy relationship. It isn't ok.
Move on.
2007-03-07 01:37:35 · answer #8 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are staying with him because you are scared of him and or scared of being alone. He will kill your very essence...because he can. Damage has been done to you, it's hard but get up get out and find those people who can help you, they are out there. You will have to give it time because of what you've been through. Try to find an interest you love and that is not harmful and totally embrace it, it will help until you get you back.
2007-03-07 02:22:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear,
It's really hard to find true lover like u...
Hats off to u...
Forgiveness is one of part of Love Story..
Since, I have noticed u r really Strong girl
That u r still with him....
Love has to be on both side..
But, there is sign of LOVE from that JERK.
Sorry to use this word but, this the truth..
He doesn't deserves U...
2007-03-07 02:17:48 · answer #10 · answered by hitz 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋