What’s a creative way to answer a phone call?

Question

I want to hear awkward, strange, funny, catch the person off guard, ways to answer a phone call.
One way would be to answer by saying your phone number. Another way would be pretending to be a business (i.e. “Miguel’s abortion center.”)
Best answer gets full points.
Come on! I've been getting prank calls and I want to turn the tables!

Answer 1

"Hey! That was quick! By the way, when you get home I'm going to &*%& your brains out. We can do it all over the sofa. John?"

Then again, what if it isn't a prank?

Maybe play it safe and whip out the 'ol Kazoo and start playing "Stayin' alive" by the Bee Gees. If they start to say something, yell at the top of your lungs "EXCUSE ME!! I WASN'T FINISHED!!!" and resume playing the Kazoo with as much pep as you can muster, and act as if nothing is wrong.

Answer 2

Akward: "T its on the menu, hello?"

Strange: "Would you like to leave a message? WELL YOU CAN'T. THIS IS MY PHONE AND I DECIDE YOU LEAVES MESSAGES."

Funny: (Said as if it were a voice recording) "The Federal Counter-Terrorism Hotline must, by law, inform you that from now your phonecall may be traced and identified. (*click*) .....Hello this is the Federal Terrorism Response Hotline, please state the nature of your emergency?"

Catch the person off guard: (remain silent) (they say "hello") (remain silent) (they say "hello") and then SOUND AN AIR HORN THROUGH THE PHONE. That'll scare the bastards silly. :)

Enjoy!

Answer 3

"Hi, can i speak to Mark please?"

Answer back with a question. It'll throw them off guard thinking they dialed the wrong number.

Answer 4

Mike's Morgue, you stab 'em,we slab 'em

Answer 5

I like to answer with "Wazzz Up , My *****" ;-)

Answer 6

try this one "Hello FBI nuisance call center, if you don't want this call traced please hang up now" see how that goes.