I'm 28 a single parent and wonder if I'll ever marry...?

Question

I'm 28, have never been married and I have a child who is almost 10. I have only had one other serious relationship after my son's father who chose to move on with his life about 2 yrs ago. I'm a good person, decent looking latin girl, am a college grad, have a decent job, my own apt., nice car but I can't seem to meet people who I feel I connect with. I know I want to fall in love again, settle down in the future and have a traditional 'family'. I wonder sometimes if I will ever find a special someone. It seems that a lot of people in their later 20's and early 30's are married or in relationships except me* I live a happy life but I sometimes wish I could share that with someone. It feels however, as if I will never find that connection...

Answer 1

Your son is your family, now. And he needs your attention, and he needs a stable home. He will not get either of those if you are obsessed with finding a man.

Think about it. Your son has had his father walk out on him, to pursue whatever else he deemed more important. How much time and energy are *you* going to put into finding a guy to marry? How important are you going to make this goal? Your son is watching you for any sign that he's not your top priority, and if he feels that some stranger is coming between him and his mom, you're going to have trouble with him.

You say you've already had one serious relationship in the last two years. And it's over already. Did your son meet this guy? How many boyfriends is this kid going to meet? How many men are you going to encourage him to bond with, only to watch helplessly as they cut their ties to BOTH of you, and leave again?

You shouldn't be dating right now.

I know that you don't like my answer. It's depressing. It makes you feel sad. It makes you feel angry that I have the nerve to suggest that you shouldn't have what you want. But please, stay with me, here. Think about what I'm saying.

Because this is NOT about YOU. It's about that little boy who needs you; who needs to be the center of your world right now, because you're the center of his. He may never forgive you if you destroy that for him.

Things aren't all that bad for you. In a way, you're lucky you had him so young. Your job--the primary task of any mother--is to raise your child to be a responsible adult. You've got another eight years to go, and then, you can turn him loose. Get him grown, and move him out of your house.

You'll be 36, then, which isn't old at all. Then you'll be able to date without guilt. You won't have the responsibility of raising a child, and you won't have to worry what kind of stepfather your boyfriend might be. You'll have the peace of knowing that you did the best you could for your son, the joy of his appreciation, and the hope that comes from knowing that you have a BETTER chance at finding a GOOD man to spend the rest of your life with, now that a child is not involved.

Answer 2

Yep, the clock is counting down but maybe 3-5 years to go before statistics rule you out. Frankly, a man with the "right" qualification and near your age would be put off by a woman at 28 but already has a 10 yr old kid. Too much a package deal and complicated married life ahead. Maybe you should target men in their 40s, who are more mature and accomplished.

Answer 3

You've accomplished a great deal more than most single mom's. So, you have a great deal to be proud of especially your son. However, try to keep your personal romantic life away from your son so he does not bond with different men on a short term basis. Look for the love of your life, like some one recommended, at singles dances and activities sponsored by singles organizations in your area. For your son's sake, connecting with his father is the best option, if only for the two of you to marry.

Answer 4

Try using yahoo personals. You can screen your dates and get to know them a bit before actually meeting them in person. Using the advanced filter section can also let you choose what type of man would match what you looking for(smoker, non-drinker, want kids, blond, blue eyed, average build, etc.) I have met a very nice lady through it nine months ago and we are both very happy. Just make sure you screen them closely and email them quite a few times before actually meeting them in person. Like dating in person you will still run into liars and deadbeats, but you can screen them a little easier through this database. Good Luck and keep lookign you will find someone. The old saying is true - there is someone out here for each and every one of us.

Answer 5

Try eHarmony.com as it is the most Comprehensive and successful singles site, and you may be able to meet and connect with someone after you fill out your profile which is so thourough that scientific results of much success is common.

Check it out, and that way you don't have to try lessor sites or go to Bars which doubt you do, and you can meet someone nice in your area or region.

Good Luck. And, yes!,........by the way, I believe you can and will find someone if you try and even try my suggestion. You are only 28, and you have a lot of Living, Loving and Learning to do, and it would be good to do so with someone worthy that is mutually suited for you.

Answer 6

Don't give up. There are nice people out there. It is just hard.

My only thought, purely from experience, is don't settle. You will be tempted to find a guy and put up with too much. I did, over and over again...and it make my life hard.

You are still so young. Just wait till the guys are around 30 or so, they will be ready to settle down and you will just be perfect.

Keep your head up.

Answer 7

You seem like a very nice young women. You will find someone when the time is right. Until then, take care of your precious child. He is the most important thing in your life right now.

Answer 8

You have your son. That's allot of love already.
Eventually you will find someone. Although you seem to be doing just fine. Do you really want all that drama in your life hahaha!
Well your life isn't over yet girl so don't give up,you will have your day....

Answer 9

You must give it time and be patient. Sorry to hear that you feel left out but I think you will find your Mr Right later on in your life. My advice is don't think of it too much and just live your life to the fullest everyday and who knows, your Mr Right might be standing at the door waiting to knock on your door. Good luck.

Answer 10

Find a hobby or take a class for fun and maybe you will meet someone there. You need to put yourself out there and pay attention to how you are coming across to men maybe this is the problem.