Okay, my husband works third shift, so he sleeps until like, ten. Most nights I'll ask him if I want him to cook, and he says no. So, tonight he wakes up and gets all pissy because I haven't cooked. I just didn't think he'd want me to. So he yells at me, and acts like a child, then when he's leaving tries to kiss me. I told him no, I don't want a kiss, so he slaps my arm. I pushed him off, and he pushed me back and knocked me into the doorway and I hit my arm and forehead really hard. I turned around and told him not to ever push me, and he grabbed my arms and threw me up against the wall as hard as he could, so I hit his nose with my head. So then he punched me in the shoulder really hard and by then I was crying and sitting on the couch, He comes over and says he's sorry and I told him to just go, and he smacks my head real hard and leaves. I can't deal with this. We're so much better than this, or so I thought. I really just want to take my son and leave. *he was in bed @ the time
2007-03-06 16:28:27 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You need to call the police and file a report to establish a record. And take your child and go someplace safe. A man hit me once and I was smart enough to not give him a second chance no matter how many tearful calls, letters or gifts of apology he sent. "Screw me once, shame on you; screw me twice, shame on me". It won't be easy but what kind of quality of life will you and your son have, walking on egg shells until the next silly thing sets him off. Your son is your priority and that means you must protect him. My husband grew up in an abusive home and it did irrevocable harm. Also, it's not like he lost control just slapped you once - he came back and abused you repeatedly.
This doesn't mean you have to divorce him tomorrow. He may be apologetic and agree to counseling and get help. However, that will take time. You must assure your and your sons' safety first. You teach people how to treat you and if you don't take a stand now, you will be basically telling him what he did is okay. It isn't. You deserve better and so does your son. I don't care what you did or didn't do, no one deserves this kind of treatment. And yes, unfortunately it can get worse - only you can prevent that. I hope you have the strength and courage to do the right thing. Good luck to you.
2007-03-06 17:18:52 · answer #1 · answered by MI Mommy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Before deciding to leave, ask yourself if your son is also your husband's son. If he is, do you really want to split the family?
I agree, what you describe was a minor issue (cooking/not cooking) that got seriously blown out of proportion.
Maybe there's more to the story. What is your husband's job? Does he feel stressed on the job? Maybe that's the straw that broke the proverbial camel's back.
Maybe the two of you can take some time off, go someplace where none of you'll do any cooking. (if you can)
Leave your son at home, though... You need time to reestablish bonds.
Hope this works. Best of luck.
2007-03-06 16:42:01 · answer #2 · answered by m_skokin 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Hmmm - well the violance is not good at all - what both of you did is not right - but you hve to realise that - the guy is working 3 shifts - either he likes to work hard or your financial situation is not that great - if it is the later - than a man goes thru a lot of stress - and you in that case you should be a little considerate and should have made something ready before he went to work - a simple thing like would have avoided all that conflict - I think you have to either start working to lessen the stress on your husband and should a bit considerate and feed the guy for a change - good luck
2007-03-06 16:39:55 · answer #3 · answered by happy 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Why are you still there? Call the police, report him, get the hell out of that house and take your child with you. If your husband gives the excuse that he is tired, that is bullsh*t. My husband works 10 days in a row, 17 hour days. He NEVER treats me like that. You deserve better. Any "man" that would hit a woman is a piece of sh*t. You need to do it quick before he starts taking crap out on your child.
2007-03-06 16:35:15 · answer #4 · answered by Jamie B 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why are you waiting for more. Take your kid and get out of there as fast as you can and then divorce the SOB. There is no excuse for that behavior and you should not insult children by using that to excuse inexcusable behavior. If you like being a punching bag stick around because once this sort of thing moves to a physical leval it only gets worse and worse. Don't wait to find out if I am right, I am, GET OUT NOW
2007-03-06 16:35:31 · answer #5 · answered by CindyLu 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Has he been violent to you before this?
I suggest you leave when he is not there and take your child with you - go to one of your family member's homes' or a friends so that you can think about this situation and decide what you are going to do.
A man hitting a woman is just not good enough.
2007-03-06 16:34:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get out now, if you stay things will only get worse. Get your son while he is at work and leave. Please don't stay in a relationship like that. It is the worst thing for a child to have to watch. Go some where that he will not think that you will be. May need to get a restraining order on him. Be the stronger person and get you and your son out.
2007-03-06 16:47:33 · answer #7 · answered by aloneathome 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no is not going to get better. he has already started the abuse and it will get worse i can promise you that. i would take the kids and leave now. and not tell him where your going. NO MAN should EVER EVER hit a woman it isnt right. but thats how this whole abuse starts then he will start to try to break you down mentally so you think you have to stay with him. you are best to get out now with the kids. this is also not good for the kids to see. i really hope you take my advise and get the hell out now. god be with you. :)
2007-03-06 16:37:57 · answer #8 · answered by kameo_44 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your getting abused, leave dont be stupid u dont want ur son to witness it and repeat the patterns his father does. pack ur things and leave get a divorce or wateva u just gotta leave. it may look hard right now but the right thing is usually the hardest thing 2 do. remember ur first responsibility is 2 make sure u and ur son are safe both mentally and physically.
2007-03-06 16:34:11 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to GTH away from him FAST......he is violent,and next time he might kill you! Get away,to a shelter,friend's house,anywhere. When he inevitably calls/comes over,saying he's sorry, DO NOT FALL FOR IT. They all say that,it's up to you to be strong. Make him get help,counseling,or anger management classes. BUT DO NOT GO BACK. I wouldn't have your son around him either.
N.
2007-03-06 16:37:28 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋