When my friend walked in the door, i had us go around the other way to the computer so we wouldn't walk in front of my step dad. I keep replaying the whole thing in my head and wondering if i did it because he will think she is fat and then when we walked to my room, i wondered what he'd say. No matter what someone looks like. if they are purple,pink, blue, black, white, too short or too tall, 50 lbs. or 500 lbs. i will still care about them and be their friend but it bugs me about what i just said. I keep obsessing i actually went through another part of the house so he wouldn't see us and wondered what he'd think when he saw her. Although, i am a good friend besides this. I feel like a horrible friend because i obsess over "what if she knew i did that"
My step dad is SOOO nice so it wasn't because i thought he would say something. He has a heart of gold like me! He wouldn't say anything out loud. but people have thoughts ya know?
but i feel guilty for going and doing that
2007-03-06 16:24:18 · 10 answers · asked by Heather B 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
First of all, let the guilt go. It's over and done with.
I think you faltered as a friend, but we all have those lapses in judgment. It's good that you recognized your mistake, even if no one know about it, and it shows how consciencious (sp?) you are. So you're still a good person in my book.
I suggest that you simply remind yourself of all of her wonderful qualities and appreciate her for who she is. I'm sure you do now, but make a habit of it. This will help you deepen your friendship and strengthen your faith in her qualities. This will in turn boost your pride in her as a friend and that you have a great friendship with her. Your insecurities of how other people perceive should melt away.
So to summarize, forgive yourself and realize the value of your friendship. After that, have fun!
2007-03-06 17:13:34 · answer #1 · answered by Opal 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like a young person. Almost everyone has had to deal with something like this. The best thing I could say to you is to think about how you feel about yourself. If you are a strong person, and perhaps a teenager this is normal. Just look at your friend--you like that person so don't let anyone let tell you different. Believe me, several years down the road you will wish that you stood up for your friend. Don't be afraid. We are all different in some way or another. Just be her friend.
2007-03-06 16:40:35 · answer #2 · answered by girafflady 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You were wrong for that, but your friend will always be your friend. No matter what a person looks like on the outside, the real side of a person is on the inside. If your friend treats you nice and respects you, return that favor. I want you to remember that a really good friend is hard to come now. You had better change your attitude about her before you loose someone who you may need to count on oneday. I know you are a nice person, just don't treat your friend wrong just because she is a bit overweight.
2007-03-06 16:36:30 · answer #3 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you assume that your step dad would be judgemental? How do you know what he would think or what he would say? It seems like you are obsessing on your own or your father's potential thoughts. We all have thoughts that, thank goodness, are our own only. Stop obsessing about thoughts or you go crazy. You don't know what anyone is thinking so don't guess.
2007-03-06 16:38:02 · answer #4 · answered by woman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you're wondering why you did it, It's reasonable to assume that you know why you did it. You say she is your friend so don't be ashamed of that in front of anyone especially someone you know so well and know how they would react. This will get easier for you as you get older because your values will change as will the things that are really important to you.
2007-03-06 16:33:57 · answer #5 · answered by patti duke 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont blame yourself. your step father is the judgemental one who needs to start looking at people in a different way. Show him your friend and if he says something...talk to him afterward and make sure he doesnt judge you. He has no right to be that way toward your friends. I think you might be overexadgerating the situation...he probably doesnt care.
2007-03-06 16:31:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If anyone thinks bad and says man there fat it is mean so if u don't think that way nor does your father whats wrong you are trying not to hurt peoples feelings what is wrong with that.
2007-03-06 16:41:49 · answer #7 · answered by blackorkid1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Consider it a lesson learned. Be proud of your friends from now on. I was once friends with a popular kid in my neighborhood, but in school, he acted like he didn't know me. That hurt me, and I eventually quit being friendly with him. If you can't be a friend ALL the time, don't bother!
2007-03-06 16:32:51 · answer #8 · answered by raggnaar 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A real friend would have not done that.You accept your friends no matter what.If they had seen you it would have hurt there feeling real bad.
2007-03-06 16:31:13 · answer #9 · answered by southcoastgirl01 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
next time take your friend to meet him.
2007-03-06 16:33:23 · answer #10 · answered by robert p 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋