I've been with him for over 3 years. I don't understand. Am I not good enough? We have plenty of sex so I know that's not the reason for him watching it. It just makes me feel bad. I've talked with him about it and he said me not being good enough has nothing to do with it. Now I just let it go because I don't want to start fights over it. I just want to know! If there are any guys out there who could explain with serious answers, it would help. Thanks!
2007-03-06 16:03:00 · 6 answers · asked by Amanda 4 in Health ➔ Men's Health
Mandy,
First, let's refer to it as erotica. Porn is just a pejorative term, and what I would call the "cheaply made stuff."
Erotica has been around for thousands of years. It began as painting, sculpture and poetry, and eventually evolved into literature, photography, acting, and video.
Erotica is simply an alternative form of sexual arousal; it is harmless fantasy and nothing more.
Regarding fantasy, Helen Fisher ("The First Sex," Ballantine Books, Feb. 2000) says that 71 percent of men and 72 percent of women fantasize while having sex with a partner. Men fantasize about conquest and domination, women about submission and surrender.
Dr. Joyce Brothers says, "It might relieve some of your guilt to know that many happily married individuals who have no thought or intention of ever betraying their spouse have sexual fantasies about someone other than their spouse."
Both men and women (single and in a relationship) have shown a desire to enjoy erotica in some form.
Women should take note that there is a very successful series of erotic anthologies called "Herotica." The stories are all written by female authors - not male!
There are well over 800 million rentals of adult videotapes and DVDs in video stores across the country, and that's not 800 guys renting a million tapes each.
As long as a partner is taking care of his/her obligations and responsibilities (job, family) and seeing that the other person is being fulfilled sexually, there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with enjoying alternative forms of arousal.
Too often, a woman's reaction to their partner enjoying erotica is one of offense; their sexual identity is somehow threatened; believing that their partner's arousal and satisfaction should come exclusively from them. That is sad.
On the other hand, there are men in this world that are totally threatened by women's sex toys (vibrators, dildos, etc.), feeling that a woman (their wife, gf) should receive pleasure only from THEM. That is just pathetic. They have some serious self-image/penis issues to deal with.
If he is fulfilling you sexually, give him some privacy and space to indulge in a little fantasy. Your relationship is not at risk.
2007-03-07 00:15:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well
maybe you should look at the porn and find out what he's interested in and what are those girls are doing in the videos and you take action.
If that don't work then I believe he answered your question, because you stated on your message
he said me not being good enough has nothing to do with it.
Good luck, I hope this helps.
2007-03-07 04:30:42 · answer #2 · answered by Just me! 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most guys watch porn it aint nothin to do with who is in the video or what positions and so on its jus good to watch but yer if u have been together for 3 years then he should respect you dont like it and stop jus bin them an tell him to grow up LOL
2007-03-07 15:16:44 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's just a guy thing - not a put down for you Hon. Don't make a big deal of it.
2007-03-07 10:55:13 · answer #4 · answered by bad_bob_69 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hes a masturbator, that's what we men do. It has nothing to do with you. You have to accept it, you probably will never find a man who doesn't. If you have a penis, it has to be stroked.
Join him!
2007-03-07 06:08:55 · answer #5 · answered by milittleguy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
they want to watch others through porn to get horny
2007-03-07 05:10:26 · answer #6 · answered by Answerer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋