my boyfriend and i want to have sex. we'r both adults and it would be my 1st time. not him though. i know hes had sex before , and i told him i would like an HIV tes before, just so my mind could be in peace and i could not have to worry about it later. he doesnt like condoms, and last night he was telling me he doesnt want to get that test done...=/ i was upset because we agreed he would.
i know he probably doesnt have anything i should worry about, ive known him for years now and he doesnt have any symptoms like hes sick or anything.
i need advice....should i trust him ?
please help me. what is something i could tell him?
am i exagerating by asking him to do this?
2007-03-06 15:52:33 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
insist on your condition. he should agree on your terms, dont let him fool you.
2007-03-06 15:57:09 · answer #1 · answered by kbraner 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nahh, you aren't exaggerating by asking him to get tested. Not to be mean or anything, but I don't think him getting tested for AIDS is too much to ask for you giving up your virginity. Plus you guys will probably have sex a million times after the first time so the reward of having sex is greater than the cost of him getting tested.
He should get tested especially if he does not like to use condoms. That's a redflag. He might feel uncomfortable or embarrassed to do it. So I would try to make him comfortable with the idea somehow. No one knows how to do that except you since no one here knows the guy personally.
Besides safety, it is good to get an aids test simply because it is something on your mind. You will never be able to enjoy sex with him if this is constantly in the back of your mind. And when it is done and you know the results, you will be free to enjoy sex the way sex should be enjoyed. Maybe he could even get around to finding a type of condom he likes. There are tons to choose from.
2007-03-07 00:06:09 · answer #2 · answered by yerp85 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I think that the best thing for you to do is think about what you want. You are number one and you decide whats right for you. If you want him to get the test done, don't back down from that decision. By telling him this is what you want and you won't except anything less you are showing him that you respect yourself and care about your body. This intern will lead him to respect you more in the long run. I think the reason he doesn't want to take the test is because he is scared. Why don't you offer to take the test together that way he doesn't have to feel that you are accusing him of having something and it could be a bonding experience. And remember even if he doesn't have any diseases, you can still get pregnant.
2007-03-07 00:04:02 · answer #3 · answered by natasha_randle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having sex with someone who has already had sex with someone else is always dangerous, beccause it only takes one person infected with something to infect a whole bunch of people, even before any symptoms are present. For example, he might have slept with someone once who once slept with someone who slept with someone who had a sexually transmitted disease and no symptoms yet, and may have contracted it and not yet display symptoms. Even if you can trust your boyfriend, that doesn't mean he can know whether he is carrying any sexually transmitted diseases and not showing symptoms. (Some people infected with HIV may not show any symptoms for years.) There are also lots of other scary diseases like that too. I think if I loves you, he should DEFINATELY have the test--which should simply involve getting a small sample of blood taken from an arm, I believe--before you have sex, if you choose to have sex. Personally, I would not ever want to have sex outside of marriage, because it is a bond so personal that I only want to do it with one person, and I want that one person to have vowed to always be there for me, and to be there for him. There is a lot more at stake than just physical health--there is emotional health. I couln't bear to become that intimate with a person and have the liklihood of him leaving me later, after I had given so much of myself to him. It would be a big loss. So I suggest doing some REALLY hard thinking about this whole thing. I hope everything turns out in whatever way is best for both of you--good luck!
2007-03-07 01:06:35 · answer #4 · answered by seaturtle26j 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, if he had any respect for you and your wellbeing then he would take the test and use protection, just because you have known him for years doesnt mean he doesnt have anything, if he cant respect the fact that you are being safe and actually care about your health then move on, your first time should be with someone who loves, respects you and knows that sex shouldnt be taken lightly...
2007-03-07 22:48:09 · answer #5 · answered by MidnightSkies 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You knoew what having sex is a sacred thing to have in person's life and also if you will have sex and you are not sure if he is still clean because you know that he have sex before then better not do it because i don't want you to have regrets in the end. if he really insist that you do that then break with him because if he really loves you he will respect your decision. also the two of you will be commiting sin because it is not procreation and if you two persue but in the other hand without any preparation and you have vretaed a family! the two of you will just depise each other and will blame each other and you wil broke up in a sad manner btter think twice girl before acting!!!...
2007-03-07 00:02:32 · answer #6 · answered by Thomas Odin M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In this day and age..i would say, you are not over reacting. There is nothing wrong with wanting to ease your mind. he may feel it is something agaisnt him you are misjudging..but tell him..it is not him, but the ones he has been with. Can he vouch for each and every partner, his partneres have every had??..I think not. Tell him..you can both go and have the test together..it is only a blood test..no biog deal. If he has been with you for a while..surely he will understand and want to easwe your mind.
2007-03-06 23:59:07 · answer #7 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen to me. You are a VERY smart female. We don't find many females like you in this world.
Now, why would he refuse a aids test? That's a suspect. Note to self that it takes 20 years for an HIV person to show symtoms.
A person who is clean would say, " No problem. Let's go for it."
A person who has HIV or isn't certain would say, " I don't think it is a good idea... I don't want to."
Now, because you are a smart person, please remain smart.
2007-03-06 23:59:09 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can't tell when someone has AIDS! Risk it if you want:
So what if he has aids or crabs? Would a man lie to you? Would a man agree to something and later revoke what he said because he had a virus or something?....
This is very serious, but hey, who can't trust a guy that took back his word?
Make him get tested, and if you want to sleep with him, be protected...Don't cry after you get infected with something because you trusted him
2007-03-06 23:55:51 · answer #9 · answered by diamond_moon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO YOU ARE NOT EXAGERATING THIS IS YOUR LIFE HE IS PLAYING WITH. DONOT TRUST HIM........... If he loves you as much as he says he does then he should respect you and your wishes and wear a condom and take the test. If test come back all clean thats fine its still your decision.
2007-03-07 00:19:53 · answer #10 · answered by pumpkin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he cares about you and hes clean he should have NO problem getting the test done.. would you rather feel a little bad for pushing him to get a test or feel bad because you find out you have AIDS and only have a few years to live? ... think about it.
2007-03-06 23:57:09 · answer #11 · answered by sarah s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋