Since I found out I was Pregnant...?

Question

My husband has been more mean than usual... he's never really nice to me anymore.. and thinks the only thing that makes a relationship is money.. I hate money so I don't know how he comes up with that relationships revolve around money... he shows no affection, he feels that his way of doing his part is working and just making money and thats it he dosent let me touch him in public or even at home we hardly sleep in the same bed... I really want this to work and not be so stressful because its not good for any of us especially the baby but what do I do to make him go back to his usual self? This is making me miserable and hate life with him how do I fix this??

Serious answers only please!!!


Thank you,

Answer 1

Get him to sit down with you, and discuss the idea of seeing a marriage councellor to salvage your relationship.

Answer 2

When I was pregnant I went through the same thing. The reason why money is so important to him is because all men really see when they find out that they are going to be a father is if they will be finacially ready to take care of the baby and you. They are just as scared and worried as you are and money is one of the biggest worries when it comes to raising a child. My advice is to talk to him about how you feel and try to relieve some of the stress. Let him know that he is doing great and that everything will be fine. Give him some time to adjust and things will work out for the best. Everyone has to get used to the idea of being a parent and being the person that is totally responsable for the well being of the new life that will enter the world, thats a big thing.

Answer 3

The funny thing is, when couples get pregnant, nobody ever wrote a book on how you deal with that. you are both just supposed to be so happy and like you're supposed to know exactly what to do.This means that you never talk about the things you are both scared about and how much things will change in your relationship when a 3rd person comes in and makes it a family instead of just a relationship. If your husband has started acting weird ever since you got pregnant, especially with the whole money thing, maybe he feels more responsible that he has to provide for a family. Also, maybe he's afraid that once you have the kid, you will only have attention for the kid.
My advice is to find a time when the 2 of you are relaxed and then you can discuss casually with him when you both feel bad and what your future plans are. I really think that just some more communication (but not fighting and shouting) will help.
good luck

Answer 4

You are traveling on you way to divorce. You need to seek help now! Believe me, you don't want to go through divorce. It is painful.

Ask him how you can make him happy. Be sincere and listen to him. He wasn't this way toward you when you met him, so something has gone terribly wrong. Ask him what he wants from you and life. Yes, most men believe making money is their main job - it's what a good husband does - and if they are doing that than they are pulling their end. Something is missing for him and you need to determine what that is. The good new is that if you are able to change the things that are bothering him, he will likely change also and you will see his affection toward you grow.

If this change in his behavior started after you got pregnant, then it could be stress - he may be thinking he has to focus more on work to make more money with a new baby. Be positive and work it out. Seek counseling if need be.

Good Luck!

Answer 5

I think there are a couple of things working against you in this situation. It sounds as though the pregnancy has forced your husband to put more pressure on himself about money - maybe he is freaked out in thinking that he isn't at all financially prepared to support a baby. He might be scared. He may be afraid of hurting you if he gets intimate. It just plain sounds like he is scared and doesn't know how to express it. The other part of the equation is the fact that you have all of these new hormones raging through you body and you might be magnifying the situation without realizing it. You will see that part more clearly as the forgetfulness and all the other personality changes to go with a pregnancy hit.
You might try to avoid discussing what you need to buy to prepare for the baby until he lightens up. You may want to ask for his hand getting out of a booth in a restaurant or stepping up/down on a curb - just gently, no-pressure contact to get him comfortable again. Pay closer attention to the wonderful things happening to your body and include him in all of it. It is truly a miracle - things will turn out just fine:)

Answer 6

Perhaps it is possible that your husband is showing his concern by acting aloof. You said that he began acting this way after he found out that you are pregnant. Men are generally more closed up about their emotions than women. They are more practical, inclined to take actions rather than mope about it. This could be his way of helping you out: by working and telling himself that money is important so that he can make enough to support the coming progeny. In the meantime, what you can do to make your marriage work will be to inject romance into it. Prepare his favorite meals when he comes home from work. Ask him how his day was and occasionally tell him how much you appreciate what he's doing. If at any time you feel that your world is crumbling, think about this: the two of you went through so much to reach this far, there must be something worth saving right?

Answer 7

the scary part is that you say he is more mean than usual.... so i guess he isnt a nice person? sounds like you picked the wrong person, period. but if you want to resolve your situation with him you need to sit him down and talk to him, explaining that you guys have a child on the way and he needs to start caring more about family than money. tell him he needs to look at the baby as something that is going to bring him alot of joy and pride and stop looking at $$$$$. if he never showed affection before you may be in a rough ride, but if he did before, then tell him he needs to start being more caring and affectionate because he has a child coming.... babies could care less about money, they need to be loved. good luck

Answer 8

He may be afraid of the pregnancy. Some men have a hard time excepting pregnancy. Also it sounds like he may be afraid of money issues. Because having a baby means spending ALOT more money. So it sounds to me like he is just afraid. Try talking to him about it. If he doesnt want to talk, suggest marriage counseling. Good Luck and Congratulations

Answer 9

I have the same problem a year ago, i dont know why men do this when the pregnancy arises,it turns them down but according to me a man who behaves like that is irresponsible,he only wants a woman when he is not pregnant,my boyfriend frustrated me a lot,he ignored me and he was avoiding to go around with me,i asked him about this and he told me he does not go around with pregnant women around,he didn't take care of me till i went on delivery and i gave up on him till today,we are no longer together but right now since the baby has grown up he wants me back but i cant accept him,i dont love him anymore,he showed me that he is failer.

Answer 10

wow, that stinks, you are going through the most exciting/scary time in your life and your husband is "abandoning" you in a sense. Talk to him about it and tell him how you feel, tell him you love him and want affection from him. Money is not the only thing in life, infact it can be the root of many evils if you dwell too much on having it!

Answer 11

Sounds like he's jealous of the baby that hasn't arrived yet. He's probably feeling insecure about not being a good father and not being able to provide for both of you so he hides within his job. You may want to seek marriage counseling so you both can deal with this before the child is born and if it's worth it for you to stick around.