My friend of 18 years got married last summer. I was talking on the phone with her a few months before the wedding and she started talking about how it was going to be a "family only" wedding, as if I already knew that. I didn't. I'm not her "family" so I didn't get invited to the wedding, although her friend of a few years got some kind of license to officiate the ceremony, so she got to go. (This bugs me because they could have used someone else and therefore not broken the "family only" rule.) Anyway, I am still really bothered by this. She is supposedly my best friend. She was one of my bridesmaids in my wedding (11 years ago)! I even paid for her dress because she was broke. I don't know if I should confront her, forget her, or just act like everything's ok. Plus, I'm feeling really lonely because I just quit my job to stay at home with my disabled baby. I really feel like no one likes me anymore. I used to have really good friends, but everyone has moved away. I'm at a loss.
2007-03-06 15:17:37 · 11 answers · asked by Gemini 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I think you give her too much credit, she really isn't your friend and she showed that by not inviting you to arguably one of the most important days of her life. She is selfish, do you really think she deserves to be your friend?
2007-03-06 15:22:06 · answer #1 · answered by ACTS 4:12 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You're overreacting a little here. Your isolation at home causes you to see every little slight as huge and directed at you. You must keep contact with adult friends if you are going to stay home and take care of your child. You also need to plan on getting brakes from taking care of your child. You will need it!
Explain to her how "I'm know I'm overreacting about this, but I kinda felt hurt and left out when you didn't invite me to your wedding. I felt jealous that X got to go and I didn't." If she's you're friend she'll listen and try to make up for hurting your feelings. She will at least fake sounding guilty because you feel hurt. If she doesn't or simply says "But I TOLD you it was family only" then she is not your friend and you need to get some new ones.
2007-03-06 15:29:46 · answer #2 · answered by Johnny C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you need to get some time for you. She has every right to have a small ceremony and a wedding without the hastles. Where does she draw the line if one friend comes then who is next and why not them.
You are feeling isolated from being at home with your child. It is natural. I feel like that a lot too. You need some adult contact. Ask your husband to let you get out of the house and hang out with your friends. Meet your friend for drinks or just to talk and have fun. You need that.
2007-03-06 15:22:20 · answer #3 · answered by Jennifer L 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forget about the wedding, it was family only and this one person had a legitimate reason to go. You have much more important things to worry about with your baby. Focus your energy on him/her. I understand where your coming from as my wife has given up everything to care for our daughter. But you will meet knew people that will be in the same situation and support you and your needs. Lifes too short to stress over this.
2007-03-06 15:27:29 · answer #4 · answered by jtash1 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The issue here doesn't seem to be your friends wedding at all; it is your low self-esteem. Yes it's incredibly hurtful not being invited, but it was her choice to make. If you were that hurt you should have told her in the first place. If you can't get over this one issue it's best that you discontinue your friendship.
Like I said the bigger issue here seems to be your self-esteem and self-worth. If you feel like no one likes you it is probably true. People don't like to be around "downers." You need to drag yourself out of this depressed state. You have had friends. There is obviously something about you that people like. You need to find out what that is and exude it. If you're that down, maybe counseling is in order.
2007-03-06 15:31:17 · answer #5 · answered by binga_4980 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your friend is a coward. When my best friend (since 7th grade)did not invite me to her wedding or her reception I was pissed, but I let it slide. I found out later that it was her husband. He was an abuser and a classic sign is the alienation of friends and family. She has since moved on but not without a lot of heartache.
Confront her and demand the truth. But be prepared to deal with whatever she tells you.
Don't sit home sponsoring a pity party, go on-line and hook up with other parents with children who have similar needs.
2007-03-06 15:29:26 · answer #6 · answered by MissUnderstood 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ok, you have 5 more minutes to wallow, then get over it. If you sit there and think about all the negative things in your life, all you will receive are negative things. Tomorrow, I want you to go to the nearest bookstore and buy "The Secret". Read it, over and over and over and practice what it says. You need some good vibrations to get into the groove again. You can do it, you just need a little help. Ok, 4 more minutes.... Happy Trails!
2007-03-06 15:29:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well try talking to her an explaing this to her
and come to a conclusion if shes an *** about it dump her as a freind
hun im sure it was her family enforcing the rule
and just have a girls night and take 10 minutes a day to do sumthing for u
it doesnt always have to be about the kids husband etc
but ur taking advice from a 15 yr old so.....
2007-03-06 15:22:08 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should tell her how you really feel about this if this is really bothering you. but she could of made the exception and had invited you to her wedding. good luck.
2007-03-06 15:22:14 · answer #9 · answered by misty blue 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You payed for her dress and you didn't get invited, what a rude *****! if that happened to me i would never talk to my friend again.
2007-03-06 15:29:38 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋