i'm a 15y/o guy and i'mfeeling really bummed out...like a failure..my life is not fun!?!?=[?

Question

im 15 yr old guy i speak english spanish and im learning french at school, im not an A student im not failing either tho, dont play a lot of sports (i wish i could tho=[)...im not popular...im not fat (but i have baby fat i think),im not gay,im not very hot at least i dont think idk, im pretty short...not even avergae, i hang out with some noncool people and 2 hot ones..im not preppy or skater, im thin i run xc i play some b-ball...not good at socccer..interested in tennis....oh yah i dont have gf...i feel like a failure...i'm pretty good at languages i guess...well but i wanna do better on my other classes too =[alsmost half the ppl in my grade are taking honrs classes but im not, im a sophmore, i want to learn to play the piano...im sort of the nice church boy to my parents...they r too strict and make my life miserable...i can't party or hang out w. friends, no one really knows this but i like to dance...i only dance when im alone...what should i do to "step up"?i want2be better=[

Answer 1

You are way too hard on yourself and this worries me. Please know that 15 is a very difficult age for everyone whether or not they care to admit this. I commend you for opening up about your concerns rather than coming across as do most people, as though you've got it all together or that you're better than others...you have much more to offer yourself and the world than you give yourself credit for. You can only live each day in it's own time and do what you can, no more and that's okay...really!
This is the age where you are learning not only about the world around you but about yourself and how you relate to different people and situations. At least you are open minded enough to be aware of yourself and are eager to seek answers. Never change that about yourself. You are absolutely fine as you are and tomorrow or the next day, even with any mistakes you may make or any problems you may encounter along the way, you will still be wonderful because you are uniquely you. When I was your age, I would write my thoughts in a "journal", sometimes adding drawings in the margins that would help me to better understand myself when I would refer back to it at a later date. As well, it gave me a bit of release from the pressure of all the thoughts that went through my mind, allowing me some calm, some peace. Being a full Italian, a Sicilian from Brooklyn, N.Y. also with very strict parents and this was in the 60's, I now have a son who just turned 16 and an 18 year old daughter who recently moved out on her own and they turned out beautifully, even despite the occassional uncertainty that accompanies being a teenager. I am sure you will have a "better" answer for you than I was able to offer (see, even adults have their insecurities) ;) but I hope I was able to be a bit helpful. I am no longer a church goer, stopped at 17, in 1977 as I discovered Buddhism, yoga, Judaism, everything that interested me...I am also a former substitute teacher ( as I am recently a new mom again) but believe me when I say, you are indeed so special and you will make a wonderful difference in this world all in your own time and when you are ready to. Don't rush things, don't beat yourself up over things and please, please enjoy each day and learn to always appreciate yourself, okay? All the very best to you, Angelina Capobianco

Answer 2

bummed out is a part of being 15, comes with the teenage harmones. Life changes alot after you reach an older age and most of things will no longer be important to you later in life there are things you can change. You can study harder and work harder at your other subjects. Your parents may be to strict and as awful as it seems they do this because they love you. In 3 years you will be old enough to do what you want. You will never find anyone else in life that loves you like your parents do be kind to them. Dance when your with other people if you like to do it, when you get over being nervous about dancing in front of others you will like it in front of others as well. Learn music if you want and can get access to the piano and lessons or material to learn by.

Answer 3

dude just get some confidence first belive in your self and just if your wanting a girl then make a move man whats the worst that can happen she tells you no and if thats the case move to another girl high school is probably the funnest time of your life you just have to not be scared and throw your self out there dont try to hide who you are

Answer 4

Doritos Funyuns *Smoothie Milkshake = 1st one *McD's Double Cheeseburger Carl's Jr. Six Dollar burger = 1st one *Predictable Unpredictable= un *Eat 100 Hershey bars Do 1000 sit ups (both without stopping) = 100 hersheys *Battle spouse with giant q-tips foam bat = foam bat *Have a stranger attack your good eye with a jalapeño have a bum throw fire ants on you = jalapeno *Swim in radioactive waste and hope to get super powers go through a worm hole and hope to land in a world where you're worshiped = super powers *Go to a full movie theater and have to sit next to an 80 year old couple having a sloppy make out session sit next to creepy old guy touching themselves = creepy old guy *Have future spouse force the wedding song to be Billy Idol's White wedding Basic cheesy wedding song like Righteous Brothers Unchained Melody = white wedding for sure =) *Have future child have the red gene and come out like Ronald McDonald come out like a cute good gremlin = gemlin....

Answer 5

Very few 15 y/o's lives are fun! Just work your rear end off on getting into a decent school, and you will find your life there.

Answer 6

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Answer 7

Wow! Your facility with foreign languages certainly tells us all you're no dummy! Don't be so down on yourself!!! I know that when I was your age, my moods were all over the place, I was unsure of who I was, where I would go or what I would be. Unrest, uncertainty, confusion and mood swings (happy to sad, back and forth) are a fully normal part of going from boyhoood to manhood (as well as from girlhood to womanhood) and if anyone going through puberty - the time of those changes - says otherwise, they're just fooling themselves and/or trying to hide their own insecurity. [From your age, I'd guess you're at that stage and you would know that because your body is taking on adult male features, like adult armpit, groin (pubic) and facial hair as well as deepening of your voice, enlargement of your penis and testicles, etc.]

I never played sports because of poor coordination - thank heaven for SpellCheck now! - but like you, I wanted to play the piano, but poor coordination - realized only after I bought a piano and spent two YEARS building myself a keyboard instrument and taking lessons for a while - made that impossible as well. We're not all cut out to be jocks nor should we all even WANT to be. There are far more important things to do with your life, and from what you say, you are getting plenty of exercise by cross-country running. Keep at it! Former US President John F. Kennedy who was assassinated in November of 1963 said something very close to: "If the resources of this country that are directed at sports were to be expended on academic pursuits [advanced education, research, music, writing, etc.], this country would be much better off." Truer words were never spoken! Even strict parents should OK with piano lessons. Are they aware of your interest? I really wanted a piano but my parents couldn't afford one, so I saved money from part time and summer jobs and bought one myself! Is that an option for you? You may have to pass up that hot stereo system you have your eye on, or delay upgrading your computer or getting a new MP3 player while the one you have still works, and so on. Only YOU can decide what's more important to you at ANY stage of life, and sadly, none of us can have it "all". Fact of life, buddy!

I know how rewarding having a girlfriend can be, but before other folks will be fully prepared to accept and love you, you must love, accept and be yourself; and focus on your good points. How many kids your age are good with languages? How many are in good shape physically? How many have the sense to exercise the way you do? Not having a gf or not being a super-jock does NOT make you (or anyone else) a "failure". Feeling that way is called low self esteem and believe me, it's not all that unusual. "Curing" low self esteem is what self-acceptance and focusing on your good points are all about. It's very common in puberty. Been there - done that!! As to the gf issue.....geez....you're only 15!! Get concerned if you still don't have one at 30!!

It saddens me that you are apparently so restricted by your parents. Freedom - within reasonable limits, of course - helps us to grow, explore and ultimately become who we truly are. Do you not have a school guidance counsellor with whom you can share your feelings and concerns?? Do you go to church with your parents? Is that the source of your parents' attitude and strictness? Is your faith very conservative, e.g., Mormon, Jehovah's Witness, Southern Baptist, Orthodox Jusdaism etc.? If the church is NOT the source of your parents' strictness, do you feel comfortable talking with your pastor/rabbi? These folks, both at school or in church, are trained to listen and assist with personal problems. If you don't want these folks reporting back word-for-word to your parents, ask BEFORE you spill the beans if they will respect your privacy. If something is seriously wrong, and I don't think there is from what you say, these advisors MUST express their concerns about your welfare to your parents. I was never betrayed. I'll also tell you there is never any shame to getting professional help - I certainly did, and am better for it - but as a minor, your parents would probably have to become involved to get that happening and strict parents may not be inclined to have you share family "secrets" with folks outside the house.

You say you have some cool/hot friends, so why hang out with the ones who are NOT cool? They will only drag you down and get you involved with dangerous or illegal stuff. Consider yourself a bright, shiny knife. Letting yourself lie around in dirty water will only make you rust and become ugly yourself.

I know I've said a lot, but I'm only trying to help you out as fully as I'm able.

No more "I'm a failure!" nonsense, cuz you ain't!!! You're a normal teenager struggling to grow up as we all do.

I wish you the very best, my young friend.

Answer 8

you have lots of good answers here!

i could not have said it any better! be patient and keep up the good work... you're doing fine!

let us know how's it going from time to time.... :) were here to help!!!

Answer 9

Try making this readable first.