My impulsive best friend is getting married within the year. I do not approve of the marriage, as she has only been dating the guy for a few months. She has a bad history with past relationships & has been married before. She never asked me to be in her wedding - she just assumed I would do it. I was reluctant to participate in the wedding because I did not want to pay for a dress, take time off work etc. Now, more details have been added to further turn me off - She told a friend of ours that I would be the maid of honor & I had better realize what my job is - she said to our friend that I "better realize what the job involves because she doesn't want to be bothered or stressed at all on her wedding day. I have to make sure everything thing is ok, and that if something does go wrong I better fix it, b/c she's not gonna be bothered with things on her wedding day. And I have to make sure there is enough entertainment going on, and that the food is warm and ok."
2007-03-06 13:53:15 · 13 answers · asked by BB 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I was shocked that she would say that. I am not about to be her slave. Don't tell me that it is the job of the MOH to help out the bride - I realize that, but that is up to my discretion. I believe that she was completely out of line to "demand" things like she is some queen or something. I need advice on what to do. I am repulsed & ANGRY...
2007-03-06 13:56:17 · update #1
You need to have a heart to heart with your friend and let her know what you are wiling to do. Tell her you support her (even if you don't tell her you don't support her choices), but if she needs someone to check on all the details, she should really hire a wedding coordinator. That's what they do. Maids of honor are there to provide moral support to the bride. That you'll do. If she doesn't understand that, then maybe she's not the friend you thought she was. I hope that's not the case.
p.s. when you talk to her, you'll get her version of her expectations. She has no right to expect these things of you without even asking you. Ask her directly what she wants you to do, and if she repeats to you everything that your other friend told you, then take the opportunity then to tell her that's more than you are willing to do.
2007-03-06 13:57:54 · answer #1 · answered by Liza 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
That is BS. That is her job - you are only there to handle smaller things that come up. She should consider it an honor to have you and you should realize the honor in her asking you to be the maid of honor. That being said, if you think it was only done because she thinks you will do all the things she doesnt want to do, then you need to have a talk with her NOW, and not wait until the day gets closer and wind up ruining what should be a great day for both you and the wedded couple. If she is making a mistake that is her right. You can try to talk to her but in the end it is her life. You can either choose to be in it or not. Now is that time.
2007-03-06 13:58:27 · answer #2 · answered by Michael K 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Okay. It is her wedding day and I understand that she has been married before, but you should try to be a good friend and help her out. I do say that she sounds like she is getting out of hand, so just tell her. It is probably just another big day for a women. She will get back to herself sooner or later. Be patient.
2007-03-06 14:01:20 · answer #3 · answered by bubblez963 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you don't want to be in the wedding then tell her and stand your ground. it sounds like shes ordering you to do it and it better be right, or its your fault. wrong. tell her your sorry but you can not stand up to her wedding and she better find someone else to stand up because you are not going to. and tell her how you feel and be honest with her, if she was truly your friend she will understand. and won't assume anything good luck.
2007-03-06 13:59:29 · answer #4 · answered by misty blue 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell Bridezilla to take a hike down the isle on her own....without you...she's not your friend if she treats you like dirt...you aren't obligated to do anything for Bridezilla, except show up (and if I were you I'd stay away). She needs a dose of reality...(and I don't think she know what reality is, if you slapped her with it..)
Good Luck !!!
2007-03-06 14:19:39 · answer #5 · answered by Chrys 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go straight to her. tell her the reality.fix ur value in front of her and be brave. tell her that her marriage is important because she is ur best friend and nothing else. ensure her that u r her well wisher. dont tell her or suggest anything about the selection of her new husband. and thats all.
2007-03-06 14:08:02 · answer #6 · answered by syed 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
personally, i think that you are quite close.
if she is being rude to you...it is a matter that you should bring to her attention in gentle manner. nothing that i can say should change the relationship. if there are issues to contend with...then they should dealt with directly. i think your relationship with her is strong enough to deal with any turbulent trivialities.
2007-03-06 14:02:20 · answer #7 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well tell her to chill! and that u should be in her wedding!
2007-03-06 14:18:00 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her to chill and u should come to her wedding
2007-03-06 13:58:35 · answer #9 · answered by chococat_cutie12 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her how you feel . if it ends your freind ship then shes a bad friend and your better off without her
2007-03-06 13:57:32 · answer #10 · answered by N 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋