I was always the girl that said they would wait for the right person to have sex. One night with my boyfriend of 2 weeks we had sex after drinking. I bled a lot and for a long time after that. Then I started feeling like I was going to pass out. I haven't told my mom, but she took me to the doctor and they diagnosed me with a heart condition that I will have for the rest of my life. Now I went to the gynocologist and they said that I have a mild form of HPV. I guess like 70% of the population has it, but I still can't believe that after having sex for the first time it has changed my life this much. I am still with my boyfriend and he has said that he loves me, but I don't have really strong feelings for him. I haven't told anyone in my family about this, but I think about it all of the time. I am wondering what I should do to feel better about myself. I regret the decision so much. What should I do?
2007-03-06 11:52:25 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I know the heart condition didn't come from having sex, but I think of it as setting it off. Since this happened with my heart though I haven't been able to go to school because I can barely walk up the stairs. I don't blame my boyfriend for the HPV thing. He had been with one person before me and I know that he really cares about me a lot. He feels terrible about everything that has happened. Maybe I just need something to take my mind off of stuff.
2007-03-06 12:11:14 · update #1
It may feel like it right now, but your life isn't ruined. You know about having HPV and your heart condition, so you can now take care of yourself and your health. Try to figure out if you are really not in love with your boyfriend anymore, or if you are just mad at him for giving you HPV. If you are not happy in the relationship then don't stay in it, that's the first thing you can do for yourself. And do lots of research on your heart condition and try to find a support group, even an on-line one, of others so you have people you can relate to and who can let you know how they deal with it. Good Luck.
2007-03-06 11:58:37 · answer #1 · answered by nimo22 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dont be so hard on yourself. I have done everything by the book, I have waited and got married first, anyway it was nothing of what I expected. I felt much pain and my husband told me I could not satisfy him as much as his other women had done. This hurt more than any physical pain I could ever feel. He respected my decision but he would always complain for having had to wait.
So dont be so hard. It is not that everythign goes perfect for those who wait either.
Always use condoms. You can get worse than HPV. Sex can not be the cause of your heart condition.
I regret my decision too. I gave my virginity to someone who did not value it at all and has used that against me - even though he was my husband!!! Give your bf a chance.
Keep your chin up. If you really wanted to wait, you would have waited. Assume what you have done and you have no reasons not to keep your chin up. Your whole life lays ahead of you. Cause you have said yes once it doesnt mean you dont have the right of saying no - or yes again - when you want to. You can! Value yourself!
It is tough! I know! but I am trying to do that here too, ok? :-)
2007-03-06 12:04:03 · answer #2 · answered by Graça 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its not the end of the world. Don't worry too much about it. Virginity is overrated and not being a virgin is not going to ruin your life. If you don't like the guy anymore, break up with him. You're young and most people have a few boyfriends before they settle down with the love of their lives. Do you have a girlfriend to talk to about it? Most people wouldn't share it with their families.
I think that if you lose this guy that you don't care about so much and wait until you find a guy you really like, things will seem a lot better for you. Trust me, you will look back on this and wonder why you were so woried
good luck
2007-03-06 12:02:24 · answer #3 · answered by glim 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I doubt if 70% of the population has hpv.The thing to do is LEARN from your mistake and wait until you are married until you have sex again and that should be after you have gotten a job, a place of your own all by yourself and car and can make it on your own.AFTER ONLY 2 WEEKS?You didnt even know the guy and the proof is in the hpv he gave you.Now you dont have strong feelings for him anymore ,probably because you are getting to know him better.Learn from your mistakes and dont repeat them.
2007-03-06 11:58:56 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
For starters, you need to leave the past behind. Nothing you can do will ever change what has already happened. Next, you need to forgive yourself, for you mistake. Move forward, and take life one day at a time. I believe something good can always come out of any situation. I don't know where you're at spiritually speaking, but it never hurts to pray to God, and ask for His strength and help.
2007-03-06 12:50:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its not his fault that your first time wasnt a very good experience and you shouldnt blame your bf for that. After the first few times it will get better and then you will really enjoy it. This happens to a lot of people, but never usually as bad as it happened to you, so dont worry about it and in 10 years time you really wont care about it
2007-03-06 11:59:16 · answer #6 · answered by Modus Operandi 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to hear about what happened to you. We all make mistakes, and all you can do is accept that. There are so many girls on this site who want to have sex early on and want advice. You can't reverse your situation but you can help someone else not to make the same mistake. If you could safe one girl it would be worth it. Turn your bad experience into something good and don't give up. If you know God, ask for forgiveness. If not, forgive yourself for it.
2007-03-06 12:06:53 · answer #7 · answered by VW 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know that this is gonna suck but you can't really do much about it. Unless your tell your mom about it. I know my first time I regreted it so much, it was with a guy I had no feelings for. All you can do is hope you make better decisions in the future. Just don't dwell on it all it will do is stress you out. I hope you feel better.
2007-03-06 11:58:59 · answer #8 · answered by Lisa H 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, you didn't ruin your life. Just don't have sex again until you're in a relationship and when you're old enough. And your future boyfriends shouldn't be mad that you're not a virgin especially if they are not a virgin themselves.
2016-03-28 22:02:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i recently made the same decision. i was the same girl, who was waiting for the "right guy" but there was this one guy, who id had my heart set on for some time. i really thought he was the greatest and one night, damn, i was sober, and i still went through with it. i mean, it wasnt as bad as what happened to you, which im sorry for, but its still the fact that its gone, and its something i can never get back. i can deny it as much as possible, but in my heart i know its gone. and i know its hard to try to move foward but thats all you can do. dwelling on it isnt going to make it better, moving foward and getting on with your life will make you feel better, i promise. it was hard for me, but ive done it. so just live life from now on, and have fun. everything will be ok.
2007-03-06 12:01:12 · answer #10 · answered by Sophia R 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋