is it always the "wife's job" to do the cleaning,cooking,grocery shopping,laundry ect?

Question

i work full time so does he and we both split our household bills 50/50 so why does he leave all this stuff for me to do?yes i have asked for help and he will say things like "you have more time than me" just because i have a 9-5 job and he has to stay late somedays to work on "projects" i should not have to do all the work at home.or he will say he will help later,well "later" never comes and we end up fighting over it after a nagg him about it.

Answer 1

Being married is not a 50/50 relationship. It's a give and take. Sometimes you put in 70% and he 30%.... sometimes it's 25% you and him 75%. What is important is that the two of you are flexible enough to go over the 50% for the other. If BOTH people are striving and willing to surpass and exceed that 50% split line, the two of you should be able to work things out.

I find the 50/50 in household bills split strange sounding, but perhaps it is more normal than I am familiar with. Most of the spouses I know don't split the bills.... it's all one account.... sometimes that makes for a better partnership, because you're both striving for the best welfare of the other.... like if the two of you are a working partnership,... with one account... you wouldn't like overspend from the account... because it's the other person's money, too. You both share the same values and common goals. It makes more sense to split that way if he like splurges and eats out all the time... or if you are like a compulsive shopper that'll get you into debt quickly...

But marriage is a partnership... with individuals striving to make things work with the other partner. If he's always performing under the 50% mark.... then I have to wonder and question where the partnership in the marriage is.

Answer 2

There shouldn't be any quesion about it. I've always done household chores including all of the above. But I don't believe in any so called equal distribution of chores. If it needed doing and the wife hadn't gotten around to it, then I did it. And I've never intentionally left anything for her to do. And I don't agree with your 50/50 split of bills. All our money goes into the bank ( except for a little mad money we both keep out) and all the bills are paid from that account. Joint decisions are made if we decide to buy something, whatver the price. And I cook as well. I thought that was the way a marriage was supposed to work. I love to spoil my wife. I don't know what I'd do without her, and I surely don't want to find out.

Answer 3

You do more suitable have time than he does. you also desire some help because you're an finished time worker on the activity and at living house. Take the Laundry out of your equation- One answer that works is to take your laundry in to be accomplished. You drop it contained in the morning and %. it up that afternoon or the subsequent evening. it truly works large and really isn't that a lot more suitable, plus it saves you a lot time, the garments are folded and able to be placed away. you are able to placed his away or go away them for him to placed away. supply your self a cleansing damage and nonetheless save the living house marvelous- yet another large issue is to have an element time living house keeper for faster or later. this may be once a week, once each 2 weeks or once a month. you are able to be a great deal surprised how a lot even as quickly as a month will do to save issues so as, fantastically once you've the laundry deal. The very last efficient hint is to have a dine in/dine out evening once each 2 weeks. It helps you both some jointly time, no dishes for clean up and no time spent cooking. it may properly be relaxing, romantic or fresh-it truly is as a lot as you 2. you may even use it as time to devise what you'll do the subsequent month and nonetheless no longer interfer too a lot with his artwork project time. What you do not desire is to get so piled with each and each of the artwork that youresent being the spouse, the practice dinner, the each little thing and nonetheless bringing living house the bread! you also do no longer favor to nag and wrestle because you both will resent one yet another. Have a plan and some expenditures waiting once you boost this concern so that you both can inspect it in a lifelike ordinary. i'm praying for you both.

Answer 4

first thing I want 2 say to you is stop the nagging, if you want to keep your husband. Second, I think that most women has this problem when the wife and the husband work, we have to come up with solutions to make our day better for us because most men won't see it the way we do. So if you can afford to get a cleaning crew to come in maybe 2-3 days out of the week, just to help you out. If not maybe you can come up with some type of solution and when he see that you're smarter than the average nagging wife, I bet you he will try to help out more because you can get so much more done if the 2 of you work together. You need your husband and he needs you!!!!!

Answer 5

You have to sit down and make a list of chores for both. He may have to stay late to work on projects but while he is doing that then you are home doing everything so you don`t have the time that he think you do. Just compromise that when he does work late then maybe you could do his chores but when he has the time then he could pay you back by doing some of yours. Or maybe doing them together, that always make me feel better.

Answer 6

Don't nag, don't fight............it's useless. Hire a maid service to come twice a week (it's not that expensive) and do the rest as you can. Maybe when he has no clean clothes, he'll do some laundry. Some men still have that picture of June Cleaver doing all the work in their heads and it will never go away. Let him rot in his dirt for a while, and he'll figure out a way to compromise, eventually.

Answer 7

NO! it is 50/50. It is both of you that should do this. Help each other and then help yourselves. No selfishness or jealousy should enter the relationship. It will break down the walls little by little like acid eating at something. Do your best and compromise alot. Last but not least. Do not nag it will chase us men off faster than you can spit on the ground. Talk about it. Dont fight.

Answer 8

This is silly, but it's what my next door neighboors do:

CHORES:

Lilly: Paul:
Clean Bathrooms Take care of pets
Wash Dishes Dust
Grocerie Shop Laundry on Sundays
Cook dinner Mon, Tues, Wens Cook Dinner Thurs, Fri, Sat

Answer 9

Do the things you would usually do around the house if you were single. Then, when he comes home, do it together, it goes so much quicker. Hire a cleaning lady for the deep cleaning. My motto which has ended many fights is: "We are both busy 100% of the time". It's not a question of who does "more".

Answer 10

NO! the best thing to do is split up the work, just like the bills. confront him, even if he thinks you are "nagging" cleaning and all that stuff was for HOUSE wives, the wives who stayed home, but now women are equal, and women have jobs too. your husband has to take some responsibility too, he cant just say, "ill do it later," Stand up, and show him that you dont mess around.