How can I become a better listener and stay focused on the speaker?

Question

I want to speak less and listen more,not just listen but also to hear!
and maintain my focus on that person.Sometimes I get upset with myself for being ignorant. Any tips on how I can do this???

Answer 1

If you are having trouble focusing try writing some questions down about what you are listening to while you are listening to it. Even if the Questions are answered in the speech it is O.K. because atleast you aren't just going uh huh... yeah... yep... the person realizes you are getting some of what they are saying and at very least they know you are trying to get their drift. If that doesn't work you could always try turning off the T.V. and the Radio and every other noise pollution device you own and focus entirely on the speaker. The first one works well in crowded rooms at a lecture. The second mainly for one on one intimate conversation... NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO DO NOT WALK OUT HALFWAY THROUGH EVEN IF THE TOPIC UPSETS YOU GRIT THE TEETH AND BEAR WITH IT THEN CALMLY DISCUSS THE PROBLEM. Don't hit things to get someones attention and no "involuntary movement such as twiddleing thimbs bitting nails chewing on a pencil or looking away from the speaker. Your face is a satelite dish close your eyes and wave your hand in front of your face it you feel it is there. anyway good eye contact is always a plus... good luck!!!!

Answer 2

The thing that has helped me is the phrase
"Be here now".
You have to retrain your brain to focus, instead of drifting off into never never land.
Like anything, it will take a while to learn.
But, the more you do it, the more you can stay focused.

Still, I get bored listening to the same old same old.
I would be suprised if I can listen to a presidential speech and not hear something that has been said before.
Then, there is Ben Stiller or Stein ;)

Answer 3

Look at the speaker-in the eyes.

Take notes (if it is a lecture).

Visualize what the person is saying and connect it with what you already know. (This will help you remember what was said)

Ask meaningful questions. (If you think you understand, but aren't sure: rephrase what you think you heard as a question. The speaker's response will either reinforce what you thought or lead you in the right direction.)

Don't interrupt.


That is pretty much what I do. I am a good listener and tend to learn quickly.

And as far as what Wendy says: it isn't always the case. I learn things fairly easily (and listen) even when the subject matter isn't interesting. Sometimes, I have to make myself interested, by applying it to myself, my life, or my experiences.

Answer 4

Get plenty of sleep and get plenty of practice by watching C-SPAN and then writing a paragraph on what you just heard. The more you do this, the more your focus will be increased. If you're really having a hard time, start with an easier channel like Speed Channel. Work your way up to the REALLY boring stuff like C-SPAN.

Answer 5

Hi, this is a serious answer... your not going to take anything in that doesn't interest you. Don't get upset with yourself, maybe your listening to the wrong speakers for you...life's to short...

ADDED: laura jo, i was speaking from experience. Wisdom comes with age, there's a time to stop blaming ourselves and choose wisely who we listen to. I know where your coming from to.

Answer 6

Just practice.