My friend took his life and i dont know how to get my head round it
2007-03-06 10:08:17 · 14 answers · asked by fineladypamela 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
My son took his own life recently - I think you have to grab the thought that this is what they wanted, and hope that, whever they are, they are happy.
Those of us who remain can only wonder at what drove someone to such an extreme.
xx
2007-03-06 10:14:24 · answer #1 · answered by Froggy 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm really sorry to hear that. It is always hard when something like that happens. Sometimes there isn't any reason. Even if you know the reason, to you it won't make sense. It's hard to try to imagine how that person was feeling and why they did what they did. Perhaps if you have a faith and it hasn't left you with what happened, it will help you now and you may be able to think that there was a purpose behind it, even if you don't know it now. For example their work in the world was done, they had learned all they needed to in this lifetime and it was time to go, or they were in a bad place and could only move on. Or their death could give someone else, like you, strength, because when you get through this feeling, you will be emotionally stronger. And yes, you will get through it. It will take time, but you will eventually feel that weight lifting and be able to remember your friend and smile instead of cry. I hope you get there soon. Please don't bottle up your feelings - talk to another friend or family member or the Samaritans because if you hold it all in you will just make yourself feel worse.
2007-03-06 10:19:16 · answer #2 · answered by whitequeen2000 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry. I know you're pain, I've been there.
Try to find a sympathetic & empathetic friend to talk to and to cry with. Grief is something you'll have to work through. There are various stages, and hurting as you are now is natural. If you haven't such a friend, ring the Samaritans, they're always there for you. Find the number in the 'phone book. Take care of yourself.
2007-03-06 10:17:30 · answer #3 · answered by jet-set 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have lost someone who mattered to you, knowing this will always bring you pain, you need to grieve for your loss, it is possible to get bereavement concealing, this may help. It is said that time heals, 36 years ago I lost a sister who was a good friend to me, I was totally numbed at the time. When I remember her I still feel sad, this will I think always be the case. Look back on the good things you shared, that way you will temper your sadness & not just remmeber they are gone. Talk to people, you need to it is part of greiving and will help you. You can e mail me if you want.
2007-03-06 10:28:52 · answer #4 · answered by funnelweb 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Suicide is something that is almost impossible to understand, and the closer you are to the person who's died the harder it is. It may take a long, long time for the hurt to fade; to be honest (from the POV of someone caught in the same place many years ago) it may never leave you altogether. You mustn't blame yourself.
If you can't talk to your friends right now, and you're not the type of person to turn to a vicar or rabbi (they can be amazingly wise, even if you're not of their faith), give the Samaritans a call or email them if you want to chat to people who won't judge but will support and do care.
08457 909090
http://www.samaritans.org.uk/
2007-03-06 10:15:50 · answer #5 · answered by phoenix2frequent 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is very difficult to deal with the suicide of a close friend.
There is always so much guilt for those left behind but it was obviously his choice to go that way.
Only time can heal that wound.
2007-03-06 10:14:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Very hard. Try ringing Cruse Bereavement Care or check their website. Otherwise Samaritans. People close will want to help..though it is important you deal with the grief yourself your way. I know it hurts...Take Care.
2007-03-06 10:21:26 · answer #7 · answered by clevergirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its hard to deal with normal death as it is, but to have to deal with someone that you loved to whom have committed suicide, I just can't imagine the pain. all I can say is keep going, be with your other friends. time will heal. and that person will always be in your heart.
2007-03-06 10:19:54 · answer #8 · answered by misty blue 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
im so sorry for your loss. but i agree with teh first answer.its what they wanted so jsut hope theyre in a happier place.i know thats not a lot of consolation.time will heal it.think of the good times.
2007-03-06 10:16:41 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
time doesn't heal wounds. you have to figure out that they would want you to go on living and make something of your life. this plus realizing it isn't your fault will help you heal as much as you can
2007-03-06 10:17:23 · answer #10 · answered by joe blow 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋