my daughter,a month from 21, just told me she is expecting her 2nd baby. she is not married and signs tell she will not be getting that way. this baby is by a different man, that i am not to sure of. she thinks i should be happy. my daughter in law is expecting her first child all at the same time frame. i am happy for her but i can't be for my daughter. am i wrong for this???
2007-03-06 09:48:48 · 7 answers · asked by mamma bird 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
this baby in by a man of a different nationality
2007-03-06 09:50:22 · update #1
I can definitely understand why you are not jumping for joy. Your daughter is setting herself up for a difficult life. With that said, she still needs your support, even if it only emotional. Sometimes when children take a difficult path, nonjudgmental support and understanding might make her turn around.
Best of luck
2007-03-06 10:00:52 · answer #1 · answered by Crystal W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well the nationality of the father or baby shouldn't even matter. Half of my family is caucasian and half is hispanic and I'm way proud of both. I have learned so much from both cultures, and I've also seen how sad this world is because we can't frickin stop judging eachother.
About your daughter, I think any mother would be upset and annoyed especially since this is her second baby by another father, and seeing that she isn't married must be super hard for you. I'm almost about to graduate college, and I still can't imagine having a kid. This world is so screwed up, and I bet raising a kid in it is extremely hard.
My advice to you is to just try to be there for her. She's already pregnant, and there's no going back. My brother passed away a year ago and I cannot explain in words how hard that is for me and my mother. I can't even imagine how hard it is for my mom who feels so guilty because she feels she failed as a mother. I think if we thought about how we would feel if we ever lost a certain person in our lives, we would take on a whole new perspective on how to deal with issues relating to those people. What would you do if something ever happened to your daughter or if you never saw her again? I had a fight with my brother before he passed on and I walked out never knowing I'd never see him again. It's not worth it.
Yes, she might have messed up, but she's your daughter and if you stick by her now, she'll forever be grateful that you were there by her side when she needed you most, even if she doesn't show it now. Good Luck and God Bless!
2007-03-06 18:26:35 · answer #2 · answered by Kudos 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel like jumping for joy, then jump for joy.. but I understand why you might not.. you know the hardships she is creating for herself and there is nothing you can do for her except support her when she needs you. I don't mean take over the financial aspects of raising a child, I mean just being there for her. A baby should be joyful experience and its the attitudes that we introduce to them that form their identities, so love that baby when he or she comes around.
2007-03-06 17:59:00 · answer #3 · answered by lucielu 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you shouldn't be happy. Your daughter's a tramp. The father's nationality is apparently irrelevant, given they won't be getting married. Love the child when it arrives, but don't enable the daughter by being her full time babysitter.
2007-03-06 17:55:52 · answer #4 · answered by dave_cooke1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Any woman who is unmarried cannot expect her mother to be overjoyed when she gets pregnant. I'm sure you see the difficulties she's set herself up for. On the other hand your daughter-in-law is in a committed relationship and starting a family is always a joyous occasion when the priorities are straight.
2007-03-06 17:55:32 · answer #5 · answered by missingora 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I would say no. i think you are right. If she was having a child by the same man i wouldn't be on your side. but by different men is kind of our of hand. I think you should explain to your daughter exact ally what you feelings are.
2007-03-06 17:54:35 · answer #6 · answered by Hippiebaby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, dear, you just know that you daughter is going to have a hard life, and the second child is not going to help anything, plus those poor children are not going to have a good life either. your feelings are quite normal.
2007-03-06 17:54:41 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋