As I touch thy soft tender lips,
I feel as soft roses,
have laid up my lips.
When you embrance me,
in thy( or thine, not sure)
I feel warm,
In my heart, I feel secure.
When I look into thy deep,
blue,
eyes I feel as if I am in an ocean,
of thy deep love.
------------
rate 1-10:)
2007-03-06 08:41:18 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Books & Authors
When you embrace me in thy arms, *
I mean.
2007-03-06 08:49:29 · update #1
Actually Im not done with it,
This is only half of the poem
2007-03-06 08:52:32 · update #2
Needs to be polished and reposted. Keep-em coming...
2007-03-06 09:29:12 · answer #1 · answered by Ralph 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im not really in2 poems like thy & stuff but this oncez pretty good...i really feel the emotion & stuff got really good detail...i'd love to here the rest ill give it a 5-6
2007-03-06 09:01:06 · answer #2 · answered by CuTiE WiD A WhOle LoTtA Bo0ty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What's with the thy's and thines? Are you living in ancient Babylonia? I liked it other wise, just stick to simple pronouns.
2007-03-06 08:49:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A give it a 3, but keep working at it
2007-03-06 08:46:20 · answer #4 · answered by Bill 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i hardly read poetry.. but this one is good .. it kinda stops abruptly... or leaves alot more to be desired...
i would give it a 5 or 6
2007-03-06 08:51:00 · answer #5 · answered by ninjagal3000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i give it a 4. it needs to be reworked a little more so that it i'll flow better.
peace
2007-03-06 08:48:54 · answer #6 · answered by Shadow Lark 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is very soothing.
you should use thy.
id give it a ten
2007-03-06 08:45:29 · answer #7 · answered by Remus Lupin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋