I am @ the moment Happily engaged to the girl of my dreams...However about 2weeks ago things got rocky and we Mutually broke up for a few days when I ironically I ran into my Ex-gf...(Which is BTW aware i am living w/ another woman)...Long story short my Ex caught me @a Vulnerable time &we had sex. She tells me a couple days ago she is LATE and I take her for bloodwork...We find out she is about 1.5-weeks...
She ALWAYS told me she would get an abortion if she ever got pregnat from me AS SHE DID THAT NIGHT...Now she is against Abortion and says it all changes after she finds out...This will Ultimately Ruin my engagement if she Has it.....Help Please.
2007-03-06 08:13:20 · 33 answers · asked by im DEKCUF (backwards) 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
ok ok dude, i won't 'scold' u for this, the way u say it sounds like u were damb practically seduced! so half the crowd wouldn't fault u as far as you personally tried to hurt your fiance.
anyway... here it is. to get someone to do anything in the world at all: YOU HAVE TO MAKE THEM WANT WANT WANT TO DO IT... '
so heres your plan. slightly devious and manipulative. u have to figure out TRULY why she does and doesn't want to keep the baby. then adjust your words to fit HER NEEDS AND WANTS
for ex: if she doesn't want to do it cuz its killing a human being...
and did want to before cuz, she cant afford the baby or she knows won't have a father etc...
your words are like: I DON'T WANT TO KILL ANOTHER HUMAN EITHER... BUT IF THE BABY CANT EAT TO SURVIVE AND SUFFERS THE FIRST 10 YEARS OF HIS/HER LIFE.. WHATS WORSE?
or: I know this happened to us.... but we cant give this baby the MINIMUM that it needs. the baby will grow up without a stable childhood.... i know u want to do the right thing and keep it, but what will u do the day after its born? the week, month, year? can you do it ? do what is right, but do WHATS RIGHT FOR THE BABY....
~~~that oughta get u goin. but heed my caution. being manipulative can be dangerous. but its a trade off... u will probably get the abortion.
2007-03-06 08:46:23 · answer #1 · answered by firemedic311 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, you've got two separate issues here. Deal with them as two separate issues.
One is the baby. The other is your fiancee.
Let's take the easy one first - your fiancee. You HAVE to tell her. You HAVE to apologize. If you don't - she WILL find out and then it will be worse than it is now. Don't wait.
Now re/the baby and the ex girlfriend. She is playing you for a fool right now. The question is what does she want. Is it you? Or is it just a free financial ride? If it's money and support she's after - sorry, there's not a thing you can do about that. If it's you - make it clear that you are not available - and that this is not going to pull you in. Once the reality sets in that she's in for a lifetime of single motherhood (with support or not), it may not look so attractive as it would with you as part of her life too. Remember that abortion is a difficult decision for a woman. Do not trivialize it! And make sure you offer complete physical, financial, and emotional support through that process. It's the least you can do at this point - or you will both be damaged and bitter forever. The class way to do it is to show responsibility.
You may wind up with two ex-girlfriends in the process. With child support payments to boot.
Best of luck. And if not - it's a hell of a learning experience.
2007-03-06 08:26:27 · answer #2 · answered by Mark P 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't. She is the one carrying the baby and it is ultimately her decision. What you can decide, is if she has the baby, how involved will you be. You will almost certainly have financial obligations, but technically you don't have to be emotionally involved (although you may regret that later in life).
As for your ex catching you at a vulnerable time, YOU are the one who should have been thinking of your fiancee; it is not your ex's (or anyone else's) job to be your moral guide. That said, the mistake has been made. Maybe you should just own up to it and hopefully you and your fiancee can work through it (after all you were on a break). Maybe counselling can help.
Your ex is the one with a life growing inside her and it can be very emotional. Even a person who is certain they would abort an unplanned pregnancy can feel very differently once they are in the situation.
Sorry, you may be dekcuf, but you are going to have to deal with whatever she decides.
Good luck, you are going to need it!
2007-03-06 08:30:54 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry bud but it looks like you shouldn't have had unprotected sex. Which i'm sure you did since you're saying you agreed on a abortion that night if she were to get pregnant.
Vulnerable or not you both knew better. I guarantee you your fiance is the one that will get hurt. If you were happily engaged you wouldn't have been sleeping with anyone else. These things happen for a reason.
Just another person trying to use abortion for birth control...grow up!
Your ex is doing the right thing keeping this baby, even if you don't agree to it. Work it out, tell your fiance the truth and be a father to this child...take care of your responsibility's.
2007-03-06 08:22:53 · answer #4 · answered by Curious J. 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Many of the problems you may be facing could be just the tip of the iceberg on what is really happening in your marriage. I dont mean to scare you but many problems when they either first show up or if they keep reoccurring could be just whats showing from a larger problem that either you or your spouse cannot even see. One of the only things you can do to help is to talk honestly and openly with each other in the marriage. If things become more serious more serious options need to be looked at as possibilities. I have a blog that has more information on some of what I've been writing about. If you feel like checking it out I would completly suggest it. Read here https://tr.im/WNph1
Love is a choice that is made everyday when you wake up and every night when you go to sleep. Some days you may not feel the original feeling but love isnt a feeling or an emotion. Its an action a verb. Falling out of love may just mean you need to spice things up a little or that you were never in love in the first place. Don't just get out of a marriage just because you don't think you like the person anymore.
2016-07-19 00:49:56 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't convince her. It's just as much your fault. If anything, MORE your fault...You had the girl that you loved and JUST broke up with so SHE should've been on your mind. Abortion is a major thing. Your ex could suffer both physically and emotionally from it...possibly not be able to have children after it's done. You had sex with her...Now it's her decision.
2007-03-06 08:22:40 · answer #6 · answered by coldasyou213 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She doesn't have to have an abortion is she doesn't want.
You're going to be a dad, so you need to make right. Talk to the ex and discuss what this is.
Ruin your current engagement? Having the kid? Or having sex with your ex while "on a break"?
If you current GF is willing to toss the relationship, then let her go.
2007-03-06 08:22:54 · answer #7 · answered by Jay 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no vulnerable time. You wanted that to happen.
Now deal with the consequences. If you are a real man
tell your new GF the truth. And by the way it's your x's
choice to have the baby or not. After all it's her body, not
yours. Face the facts. You should have used protection.
Condoms are free at certain places.
2007-03-06 08:24:04 · answer #8 · answered by lizzy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is disgusting of you to say. It is her baby too and her choice, and don't act like it's all her fault. YOU were unfaithful to your future wife! And abortion is a thing that many people find unethical and your ex may think of it this way now too. It's okay if she doesn't want to go through that. It is your fault too this baby came to be and if you aren't willing to take the heat for it, what are you doing in this situation?!
2007-03-06 08:21:19 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I do not believe in abortions and some say that it is the mothers choice to have one or not, but i believe that it is the parents choice to have sex and ultimatly take the risk of getting pregnant. I do however believe that you should not try to convince her to have an abortion, if she choses to than that's her choice. Dont pressure her into anything let her make her own choice.... whether it ruins your relationship with your current or not. You should have thought of the consequences of your actions whether your were in a vulnerable position or not.
Check out this site to decide whether this is what you want to happen to your future son or daughter.
2007-03-06 08:42:59 · answer #10 · answered by Toria 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋