I am in my 40's and do not have any friends. I would like to have at least one friend that I can hang out with

Question

and talk to, instead of being so lonely all the time. I had friends when I was younger, but since my early 30's and marriage, they all are gone their own ways. How in the heck does one meet, make and keep friends at my age?
(by the way I am married, but still need friends of my own sex, female to be with once in awhile)

I need to mention that I dont have a job BUT I am in school for my Master degree. I am a nice person, very friendly and outgoing, yet no one seems to make a gesture to get to know me better.

Answer 1

In church one week I had an epiphany- something very simple, but yet so true and something I would tell my middle school students- To have a friend, you first have to be a friend. I never really thought of it like that. I'm kind of an introvert myself, so I can understand how difficult it is to make friends after marriage. Sometimes just this can come across to others as being standoffish or snobby. I'm not sure where you live, but that can make a difference too. If you moved to somewhere different from where you grew up, (ex: from Georgia to New Jersey) it can be a culture shock of itself. Perhaps you could reach out to someone in one of your classes or activities. Take a risk. I know how you feel. I'm often wondering how to make friends since most of the people who live around me are older and people seem to be busy all the time. You could join a group- that's the best way to meet people and build your self up as well- like a community life group at church, a class at the YMCA, a volunteer organization, even a chat group of some kind- etc. . . Then you have a common bond with the other women there anyway. You could just make casual talk the first few classes and then maybe ask them about themselves. Then, maybe you could just ask some over for coffee, out to a girls lunch, or something else casual and comfortable where 2-3 other women can get together and chat. Once you've done that, you've opened the communication for futher meetings. I also find tuberware type parties are nice to get to know new people. They have a purpose, and you can get to know different women.. . In your case, it doesn't matter what group you join, just anywhere where the people aren't cliquish and they are there just to have fun and meet others. Women need friends- sometimes I think men are happy without many, but we need to talk and relate to others. Good luck. You've already taken the first step by writing this letter and reaching out to others. Keep it up!

Answer 2

I'm in my 40's and got a birthday coming up. I don't have any real friends except for my daughter and mother. I don't have a job and I also am a mother of a 31 year old son and a27 year old daughter then I have a younger age 8. I also have 4 grand children the first two are the same age as my 8 year old and the other two are age 2.
I can't really seem to make new friends either.
Most of the time I have my day so planned out around the children that I feel there is no need for friends but I do get lonely not having anyone to talk too.So I get myself on this computer and try my best to be somebody. Get out to bingo or just ride in your car on sunny days.It's not the hanging out part that I miss it's the talking too someone. My big sister passed away in December, to the Aids virus and she was my bestfriend in the whole world now that she is gone I have this computer to play around with while my daughter is at school. You can contact me if you get in the mood to type
on your computer.marla9304@ yahoo.com and I will have a new friend too.

Answer 3

Wow I'm in the same boat.. Family life has taken over and everyone has gone their separate ways. Funny how when you're older it is sometimes harder to find new friends and keep them.
How about signing up with some local groups meet friends that way... I know making TIME is always an issue hard to meet once a week or more for those types of things expect ally going to school. Charity is another... Is there anything on-line like a chat room where people like to meet..as friends only..lol. that's the key word friends. Or how about create a chat room inviting women only to talk.. meet .. set parties and so forth???

I hope this helps.

Answer 4

I am kind of stuck in the same situation. I am 21, and I never liked having friends. I had one best friend when I was 8 to 11 years old, and I always had my sister. We are best friends and are so close, but she went to Israel a few months ago, and now I am starting to feel so lonely. I have a hard time meeting new people because I am very shy, but I try to go to places were I can meet people. For example, the gym can be a good place to start having a conversation with someone, and if I feel we have something in common, I take their number, and try to meet them again later on. They can also meet you to their friends, and that's how you'll start meeting more and more people.

Answer 5

Wives/Girlfriends of your Husbands friends? I met Women through my Children when they started Kindergarten, that's how I met my Best Friend over here. It's hard to do on your own. Everyone is so involved in their own lives and we all seem so short on time that the relationships that feed our soul tend to be missing.
Is there a nice local wine bar you could go to for a Happy Hour for a few weeks until you can make yourself familiar enough to trust yourself to start a conversation with someone?
I really hope it works out for you. I know that it is possible to be married and lonely at the same time.
Keep your head up.

Answer 6

I agree. I'm 45 and thank God I still live in my hometown so I have friends that I've had for 20+ years. I have moved away before and nothing is more lonely than when you don't have a friend to talk to and confide in. My email addess is available if you want to email me. I'm an honest and forthrite stable person and only have a few friends myself but maybe we could get to know each other and find out we're not so far away that a friendship couldn't be started.

Answer 7

You need to take an active role in developing a network of friends. I see the possibility of your renewing an old interest and becoming more social which will lead to meeting people. Once you do, host dinner parties, invite them for lunch, call, send cards on their birthdays. Making friends is like riding a bike;you never forget how you but you can't be lazy.

Answer 8

My mom just turned 47 yesturday - wooo! Anyways, she makes friends through the soroptimist organization she's involved with as well as taking part in city functions and all that jazz. She develops friendships because her character shows and she's honest and outgoing. It doesn't matter how old you are, it matters if you're happy with yourself first. Go to social events and mingle around, there are countless interesting individuals out there, you just have to be exposed to it.

Answer 9

Don't take it to heart that no ones befriended you, more than likely there to busy in there own life to make time for a new friend..Give it time at school that's probably going to be the best place for you to find someone..

Answer 10

you knwo, i say how about going out to a bar? its not the best thing but if your old enough to comprehend and u should because it sounds that you know how it is... so just try and try like i am doing i feel the same way, my ex left me and it sucks as far as depression goes. you can do it man.... you need to be more open in the mind! talk to the perason next to you at the store, gas stationg. or any where just start the simple hi... then it goes from there... trust just try it and dont be putting ur self down!!!